To not let other people feed my FF baby?

[Commentsonpic]

MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

@Motorcycleemptyness it’s really not ‘fucking’ lazy.

We live in a flat, our bin is downstairs and outside. My husband is at work all day and so if people want to come and stay with us so soon after having me a c section (them asking, not us inviting) then yeah, a bit of help is nice as they need taking out more often with guests.

After the first you massively drop boundaries, don't you

I breastfed both of mine and was desperate for others to do the feeding but they couldn't! You always want what you don't have 😂

Why would they if they come round and are expected to take the bins out? Other people don’t automatically love your kids you know especially if they’re treated like the refuse collectors every time they come round. Like I said, let them build a relationship, whether through this or something else lovely. And take your own bin out.

If you don't want her to give your baby a bottle then that's that. She fed her own baby. It might impact your relationship with her though.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’ve really brightened up my day!

Another thing I appear to have got wrong then. DH gave both DC their first ever feeds and then shared with me. Other family members GP and aunts all had a turn if they were around at the appropriate time, especially if it was meal time. But then I went back to work after 8 weeks, there was never a bond issue.

Then at those points, offer someone else the baby to feed and you eat your food hot.
If they decline then they can't say you didn't offer

Only I fed my babies until they were about 6 months. I think that’s normal and it’s weird to hand them around though.

Your baby, your decision

I’m glad. Bet your in laws love you.

I was really uncomfortable with this as well for the first few months so I understand OP. With hindsight, for me it was really all about how I felt about the challenges I had breastfeeding and once I'd addressed that I found it much easier.

Maybe you'll feel differently at some point and be happy to let MIL do the odd bottle, but until then I'd just be honest with her. Say you'd rather feed her yourself but would she like to cuddle her/play with her/take her for a walk or whatever, offer her another opportunity to care for her and bond.

I think people on here are being a bit OTT in their responses.

I have a fantastic relationship with my in laws but only let myself or my husband bottle fed her. Like you said, I loved doing it and I never needed anyone else to do it. They got plenty of snuggles and time together but when it came to feeding I always did it.

Funnily 3 years down the line no one seems to have any lasting trauma from the fact they weren't allow to give her a bottle. Go easy on yourself and enjoy the feeds while they last

I am confused on reading the replies and worry i have misread the OP- however in short your baby is breastfed and you do not anyone Formula feeding. Totally acceptable and all my kids were breastfed. Not sure why anyone thinks your OTT

I get on really well with them actually.

Sadly, they don’t give a shit about my children as I breast fed them.

I genuinely feel really bad for all the breast fed babies who have grandparents who don’t love them because of it.

I feel the same way, it’s a lovely part of having a baby and it doesn’t last forever so it’s lovely that you value that peaceful bonding of bottle feeding baby. Don’t feel shy to tell people you want to be the one who feeds your baby, that’s perfectly natural and a good sign!

when my parents come and stay, they are extremely helpful around the house and always looking for ways to help

And yet you still wouldn't let them feed their grandchild if they asked.

It's weird the things people become so controlling about.

I think OP is getting a bit of a hard time in these replies. It's a very legitimate preference, and MIL has had her own babies to feed or not in line with her own preferences.

I bf, but if I'd ff I would have felt the same as OP. And in spite of never getting to give a bottle, extended family and close friends have close relationships with my children.

The baby is formula fed.

It would've been quicker to read it again than to type that ^^

It's literally impossible to guess which way a MN thread might go. I can't understand how people have been so harsh to you!

Of course you don't have to pass your baby round for everyone else to "have a go". You are absolutely allowed to tell MIL that you want to do the bottles yourself. And I completely understand what you mean about people pretending to "help" but only offering to do the nice jobs that you'd rather do yourself, and never offering to do the boring jobs that actually need doing.

I've never known anyone refuse to let other people feed the baby , saying that I've never known anyone refuse to have family round for the first few weeks after birth either. Only ever see it on mn

What does your husband think about it? As it’s his decision too.

Do you let your mum feed the baby?

I’m with @MightyEagle

I hope when my children have their kids I’ll be like my mum. I’m going to swoop in and clean their house and wash their sheets and batch cook until their freezers groan under the weight of lasagne and pie and casserole. I’m going to cuddle the baby so they can eat in peace. I assume they’ll let me cuddle the baby at some point. 😀

it's not quite that straightforward though is it? Or it shouldn't be. Does baby's dad get a say or does his role not kick in until 'your baby' is a toddler and then you can moan he's not helping you enough?