To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

No we have 2 others so he was on duty with them whilst I sorted the baby. The baby is now 10 months old and I’ve done every night feed too. Works well for us anyway

Ba, you want to feed your baby, you feed your baby, others can help doing other things while you sit down and take it easy. They can sterilize the bottles if they want a part of it. Can't imagine wanting to bottle feed someone else's baby myself to be honest. There are months and years ahead for people to help in a more hands on way with the baby/child

So you're ok for her to take the bins out but not feed your baby?
Nice.

MN is batshit when it comes to newborns. You see posts all the time which show you just can't win...

"People want to visit 2 months PP, how intrusive"
"People don't want to visit 2 months PP, they don't care about the baby"
"MiL offers to help with the baby, but only me and DH are permitted to do XYZ with the baby. She should do housework instead "
"MiL has come around and started cleaning, how offensive, does she think we live in squalor"

Then a year down the line, wondering where their "village" is and why noones interested in their child.

Well yeah, it worked well for him anyway 😂

It works for the vast majority of humans who bf so why would a family that bottle feed be intrinsically worse off? It’s revolting to tell a woman who has actually done this that you who haven’t know better how it impacted her and hers.

This.. I totally agree.. I feel the same. This is my 3rd baby and I wasn't like this with my first two but this little one was born 10 weeks early and spent the first 6 weeks in hospital. He is now 5 months old but only came off a feeding tube last week so we are only 1 week into full oral feeds and my MIL has just asked to feed him. I feel awful saying no but I have missed so much bonding time with him, and it is still early days with bottles, I'm not ready for other people to take part in such a big bonding experience yet, unless it is my partner of course. I hope I don't continue to feel like this though because I do feel like mum-zilla but I guess I'm still hurting from the trauma and maybe this is my way of dealing with it. When he was in the NICU I was convinced he didn't know I was his mum because I didn't get to spend enough time with him. I didn't get to feed him much because I had to do the school runs for my eldest and keep things normal for her, I'd be lucky of I got to do one in the few hours I got to spend with him before I had to go. It's really hard but I acknowledge that for Dad it must of been hard on him too. He barely got to see him much either. It was such an awful time and now we are home I think I just want to be left alone.. its nothing personal to anyone on any level. I just want to make up for lost time I had with baby. I guess there's some guilt in there somewhere that I couldn't keep him safer for longer whilst pregnant.

I was fed this line by midwives and health visitors that only mum and dad's should feed the baby and no one else should be allowed to allow bonding.

I ignored it and happily let grandparents and friends feed my baby, hold them etc. Absolutely no impact on bonding, I got a break and my son has a lovely bond with his grandparents. He doesn't seem to have been traumatised or suffered any sort of attachment issues through this.

I think it's complete nonsense how there is more and more pressure and guidelines given to parents which in turn just isolates them more from people. In many cultures and throughout history, new mums have always been supported by their community to help bring up a baby. I can't see how any of this "no one else can hold/feed/change/look after the baby apart from the parents" is anyone's best interests.

I loved being able to share my babies with other family members-it made me very happy. Babies belong in families if at all possible-either real or found families.

This thread is from 2023.

I expect the OP has got over it by now.

Hardly the same thing!