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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has RAN AWAY in foreign country.

412 replies

Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:33

Away with our DC’s, I appreciate the need for downtime but every night I’ve sat alone in silence whilst he watches films.

Tonight i broached this and said I just felt really flat and lonely after 12 days of this, still 2 to go. He said that it’s proven that men don’t need ‘chat and drama’ hence they can happily live alone for years.

I got quite tearful and said I really wasn’t starting an argument, I just wanted to chat of an evening. He kept on repeating that I can speak to him whenever I like, and I explained it would be nice to feel as if I wasn’t disturbing him and him to initiate conversation.

Then he ran away, it’s 12.32am here he’s gone. It’s really rough weather here tonight too and I’m scared. He hasn’t got a key as the fob for the electric is welded onto the key so I have no idea what to do.

aibu to phone the Greek police?

OP posts:
Cas112 · 20/05/2023 22:34

How long has it been since he left?

BallandBoe · 20/05/2023 22:34

How long has he been gone for?

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:34

Two hours.

OP posts:
BallandBoe · 20/05/2023 22:34

Are there local bars near to where you are staying?

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:35

I know that’s a small amount of time but I just don’t know how to deal with this. He hasn’t taken cards or money, keys or anything. It would be dangerous for him to roam the streets all night.

OP posts:
Saltandsauce · 20/05/2023 22:35

He’s a grown man.
catch ur flight in 2 days and LTB when u get home.

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:35

A few small tavernas which close at 12. However DH has not drank alcohol for 8 years.

OP posts:
Cas112 · 20/05/2023 22:36

I think at least wait and see if he comes back by morning.. he's a grown man. I'm sure he will be ok

Xrays · 20/05/2023 22:36

To be honest he sounds like a dick and two hours wouldn’t worry me. I’d assume he’d just gone to get drunk somewhere and I’d leave him to it but when we got home if things were like this all the time I’d make plans to leave. It’s no life for you.

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:36

I am just so upset. I wasn’t even arguing I was just trying to explain that I was lonely and clearly he’d rather run away then speak to me.

OP posts:
ElEmEnOhPee · 20/05/2023 22:36

Is there more to this? Any underlying mental health problems? Is him running off a "normal" thing for him? Seems like an over the top reaction from what you've described happening.

LaDamaDeElche · 20/05/2023 22:37

Go to bed. I know it will be hard to sleep, but he's doing this to be a dick. It's such toxic behaviour.

Floralnomad · 20/05/2023 22:37

I really doubt that the Greek police would be any more pro active than British police and I doubt they would go looking for an adult male who had gone out after an argument and been gone for 2 hours .

QCKC · 20/05/2023 22:38

Actions have consequences.

He chose to fuck off and leave you. He has to deal with the fallout.

I'm so sorry OP. Work on the basis that you need to get home and then LTFB.

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:38

He has never ran away before, and has no known MH difficulties. If he’s ever usually flustered with me then he will silent treat me. But just the way he actually ran away saying leave me alone, I was completely baffled. There wasn’t even any raised voices before we hit this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:38

Thank you all for your comments. It helps to have someone to talk to.

OP posts:
Elvis1956 · 20/05/2023 22:39

I am a man and I am saying come home and kick his sad, pathetic, little boy arse into touch...you can do better, there are lots of real men out there

Niceseasidetown · 20/05/2023 22:39

Are you drunk? Calm down. A grown man has gone for a walk. He's been gone for 2 hours.

Get some sleep.

BananaCocktails · 20/05/2023 22:40

He has only been gone two hours. What do you expect the Greek police to do? They aren’t going to do anything at all
2 hours isn’t missing .
clearly, he cannot be mature enough to speak with you about this issue of him, ignoring you especially whilst you are away
he’s treating you like a nobody and I would seriously reconsider being in a relationship with somebody like that. I had someone like that for years and it turns out he was cheating on me. I’m not saying that this is what he is doing to you, but if he cared for you, then he wouldn’t be treating you like you didn’t exist then running of the minute you try to discuss it
let the man child roam about he will soon be back. Greece isn’t any more dangerous than the UK is. In fact it’s safer .

hettie · 20/05/2023 22:40

I am so sorry you are married to an utter utter arsehole.... But there is no need to be scared, he won't come to any harm and neither will you. No need to phone the police over a man child who has gone off in a huff. You are within your rights to be on edge about his potential to turn up at some ungoldy hour reeling drunk and even more stropy, but tbh if it were me and he didn't have a fob I wouldn't let the stupid fucker back in.

Original poster
Greekrunaway23 · 20/05/2023 22:40

Not drunk. Neither of us drink.

OP posts:
QCKC · 20/05/2023 22:40

Niceseasidetown · 20/05/2023 22:39

Are you drunk? Calm down. A grown man has gone for a walk. He's been gone for 2 hours.

Get some sleep.

Don't be a dick.

Sissynova · 20/05/2023 22:40

He’s a grown man, he has gone out he hasn’t ran away.

mauricemossmylove · 20/05/2023 22:41

did he have a problem with drinking when he stopped 8 years ago? if so, I can see why you are concerned.

NomDePrune · 20/05/2023 22:42

I would say when he comes back, don't have a go at him, just focus on the kids and packing and getting everyone home. Then you can start to think/talk/make a plan. It's not easy to travel with someone you are angry with.

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