AIBU to be confused and hurt over no invite

[YouShouldBeDancingYeah]

I have been friends with a group of women since my teens. We generally stay in touch via social media / WhatsApp and meet a few times a year locally.
We are all approaching (or are over!) a big birthday this year. I opened FB this morning to find a post from one of the group thanking “all her friends for the best birthday party ever” and loads of photos of them all in her garden celebrating. Obvs I didn’t get the memo…or an invite!
Ive spoken to a few of them over the last few weeks and obviously not one of them mentioned it. Even stranger, I’m due to meet birthday girl for lunch this week and prior to today she’s been behaving completely normally.

The adult in me really just wants to forget it and focus on people in my life who actually want me there. But the inner 13 year old in my head is raging and crying over this and this apparent rejection! And I’m going over and over in my head about what I could have possibly done to be snubbed like that.

So WWYD?

1. Forget, block and move on
2. Meet birthday girl for lunch as planned and say nothing?
3. Meet birthday girl and find out how your invite got so lost in the post…

Thank you!

I’d absolutely have to say something.

3 definitely

3 definitely

YANBU I'd be hurt too. Can you ask directly why you weren't invited?

Yes, 3

Sorry meant to also say 3!

I’m sorry this happened and I hope it’s been some sorry oversight. Perhaps a surprise party?

3

I'd be hurt and disappointed. My vote goes to No.3. I really hope it was an oversight.

Definitely ask. But not in a "I was so hurt" way, more a "Look, I've always thought we were fairly good friends so I was a bit surprised to see you'd had a big party and not invited me. Are we not that good friends really?". Her reaction will tell you everything.

I like this approach, thank you! I am going to have to say something aren’t I!!

They is odd, when did you last all meet up properly?

#3 for sure.

Urgh, I hate this sort of thing. It's so mean. Definitely confront her.

A combination of 2 and then 3. If you haven’t liked or commented on the post you saw, ask what she did/is doing for her birthday and see how she responds.

I wouldn't meet her for lunch and I'd tell her why.

At Easter for drinks…it was all fine and I had no reason to think otherwise. Have been in regular contact with the birthday girl…I thought our friendship was good!

Yeah definitely ask. It is hurtful and you need to know where you stand.

I’d have to ask for sure.

Then I would go for option 3, not nice behaviour from her at all, I hope she has a decent enough reason.

It would have to be 3. You have to know.

This happened when I wasn't invited to a hen do of a friend, when mutal friends who aren't as close were.

I was very confused and after stewing for a while I asked her.

Turns out her maid of honour "forgot" to invite me. The bride just thought I couldn't make it and hadn't mentioned it in person.

I’m sorry you’ve felt this way too and potentially it could be a misunderstanding, one of the PPs mentioned it could have been a surprise party so that could be a possibility. But you’re right I have to know for sure!!

Could it have been a surprise party and someone arranged it who doesn't know you as well as they know the others?

3

It is a possibility…I def have to know for sure though now!