To not applaud Emma Willis for putting her children through hell?

[Royalbloo]

I don't understand how these people can be absolutely celebrated for putting their own children through something so awful.

Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?

I have always put my child first and I don't get the adoration they're getting?

I left someone who was addicted in order to put my child first.

superldem

Maybe not a better wife, but definitely a better mother.

I left someone who was addicted in order to put my child first.

From your op

Drugs or drink or whatever...I don't care....YOU put your own kid through that

I can read

I can also put my kids first. You didn't though did you? You waited around

Their children are loved and well looked after. MW has had one relapse since they were born - are we supposed to write off everyone who has ever gone through difficulties or suffers from illness?
There's no suggestion that the children have experienced anything other than a happy childhood, with parents who adore them. And having money does cushion them from the harsher realities of having a parent with addiction issues, if he does relapse in the future.

I think you're projecting your own experience onto Emma Willis, OP. You have no idea if/that her kids have been put through hell. I'm sorry that yours was, though.

You waited too long though..

Thug or bully 😂

You are the one putting another mother down ..

I agree with you OP.
If she’d posted on here about having a drug addicted partner and that she wanted to stand by him despite having young kids, she’d have been told firmly that she was abusing her kids by staying with an addict. People would have come with their experiences of addict parents who were “supported” by their spouses, at the expense of the kids. It would have been unanimous.
I guess because they’re celebs people see it differently.

maybejunesoon

You know absolutely nothing. My child is protected and happy and wonderful but thank you for your concern. She's untouched by the one incident she witnessed aged two which is the only horrible thing she will ever ever see if it's up to me.

I couldn't stop that one thing, nor could I predict it was coming, but I know, as her Mum, I took immediate steps from it ever happening again.

she did leave - when they had ONE child and he relapsed - since then he has been clean -

You have no idea what her children were exposed to. For all you knew they know nothing pf his issues and were well sheltered from the fall out of his relapse. I think she is a very strong woman for staying when most of us, me included, would have thrown in the towel. Unless you know that the children had knowledge of his drug taking then it's a huge leap to say that they're affected in any way and she is anything more than a great mother who has protected her children from the one relapse he has had since becoming a father.

I find it easier, instinctively, to understand the women who leave because a line has been crossed, to keep their children safe from behaviour that is not acceptable, whatever that might be.

I spend a lot more time considering the motivations of women who stay, particularly ones who on the face it, should be able to leave with considerable ease.

Grandchild of an alcoholic here who grew up in his household. He wasn't abusive or anything more than a lovely caring grandfather to me. Not all addicts have a detrimental affect on the children in their care.

Amen - I wonder how many women here are a standing by their shit men whilst putting their children at risk or damage.

I've genuinely never thought about it and thought I was in the minority but judging by the comments, I think there are more Thani ever considered possible.

I have read the full thread and I have no idea why you think I'm laughing.

He's the addict yet you've started a thread to attack her.

@Royalbloo I honestly think you are projecting your own experience on to her - with no understanding that all families/dynamics are different.

You left because he didn't change - she left and he DID change and is no longer a drug user

You seem very angry at her because you did something different - but her relationship is not yours - your partner was addicted throughout your child's early life - hers was not - and hasn't been bar on relapse after the first child was born

You are resolutely ignoring people asking you questions that challenge your view - you can not give examples of how her children where at risk or abused - you just seem very very cross about it - which, frankly, is not healthy or helpful

Absolutely not - I just do not understand a woman being applauded for putting up with this behaviour toward her, or her children.

This "hero" nonsense about standing by him should not be the rhetoric we should herald.

Her child was 6m old when he relapsed????????????

It's a tricky one. Addiction is a mental health problem. My dad has bipolar and has had some crazy manic highs that I have witnessed as an adult, very distressing/impossible behaviour to manage. He developed bipolar 10 years ago so I didn't have to deal with any of this as a child, but it has made me so much more understanding of people with mental health issues. My brother is also a reformed alcoholic. When in the thick of it as a carer you feel responsible for looking after them, and getting them the required help. Do you know how difficult it is to get a mental health patient a bed on the NHS or even privately? It's a nightmare situation which leaves loved ones with very limited options, even when they are wealthy. Of course we are going to want to look after our loved ones. I need to watch the documentary.......

I haven't called her a hero - I think she's a strong woman who safeguarded her child by LEAVING

you keep mentioning her children - plural - but he has not used drugs since she left when the first child was a baby?

her child was 6m old when he relapsed???????????? - and - she LEFT - so again what are your actual concerns - what risks did she expose her child to?

You seem very angry at her - for basically not having your life?

My father was an addict and died very recently.
My Mother stayed loyally by his side throughout. Are we damaged because of it? Probably.
Do we also have lots of wonderful childhood memories that weren’t shrouded with addiction? Yes.

Addiction isn’t always black and white. Like what Matt Willis said, at the root of every addict is pain.
Ive always thought that if the addict is trying to get clean/better, then I will try.
If they are not actively trying then I would walk away.

People often forget that it’s a chronic mental illness. Just like depression or anxiety, even if it presents to some as a selfish, active choice
No one CHOOSES to be an alcoholic, even if it appears that they are choosing drink over their family, it’s just not the case.

Whilst I applaud your decision to put your children first, that must have been very hard, I also think credit should be given to those who are also trying to stand by and support the addict in recovery. After all, they are in recovery.
I don’t think Emma’s choice makes her a ‘bad mother’ and I think it’s incredibly judgemental to say so.
With the complexities of addiction, it’s not a ‘one size fits all’.

Im really glad my father felt loved and supported by us in his last days.

He was sober for 8 years of their lives. When his youngest was 10 weeks old he fell off the wagon whilst on tour. Emma said she did not know he had relapsed that last time, and missed the signs, so I very much doubt young children will have seen the signs. Their youngest is 5 or 6 now and he’s been sober for 5 years, so it was only a short amount of time he was drinking whilst the kids have been around. I’m not excusing it, but it wasn’t years of destructive behaviour. I watched it and admired her for sticking by him. I would much rather have my parents together and working as a team than my Mum tossing my Dad out on the street. I think if she had done that it would have destroyed him and thus there would be no family anyway.

I know it’s easier to have an addict than love them, it’s a self preservation thing, but I also agree with other responses that there seems to be lots of bitterness and resentment here. I’m sorry; you are clearly hurting OP.

the documentary must have been triggering for you.

I spent a long time hating people who went to rehab as my father didn’t want to stop. I always wondered why we weren’t enough.
could this be where some of your feelings are coming from?

What if she wasn't getting upset and increasingly agitated though?

I left an addict too, I should have left sooner but was stuck between a rock and a hard place as he would threaten suicide and manipulated me that way so I thought I can leave so they don't have to witness this, but there's a very real chance he's going to kill himself and then my kids would have no dad and all the trauma from that.

maybejubesoon

That sound absolutely horrendous.

but she did leave when he child was yong and he went to rehab

he hasnt relapsed since

what hell are they being put tbro9ugh