Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not applaud Emma Willis for putting her children through hell?

207 replies

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 21:19

I don't understand how these people can be absolutely celebrated for putting their own children through something so awful.

Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?

I have always put my child first and I don't get the adoration they're getting?

I left someone who was addicted in order to put my child first.

OP posts:
Goldrushed · 19/05/2023 22:21

@Royalbloo you really need to stop now. How do you feel about other women in this situation reading this victim blaming stuff? Do you think abusing and attacking people motivates them or just makes them feel more shitty?

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:21

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 19/05/2023 22:19

She is a deluded and foolish woman if she actually thinks he will stay drink and drug free for the rest of his life.

My dad was an alcoholic for most of his life and gave it up during his third marriage for 15 years but then when there were difficulties started drinking when he got divorced. Cost him 3 marriages in total but I’m not sure if he drunk in the first one. Luckily my mum divorced him when we were young.

Exactly this. And I am so pleased you didn't have to grow up experiencing that. I hope you had a wonderful childhood free from most of that.

OP posts:
Itiswhatitisamilliontimes · 19/05/2023 22:21

I can’t get iplayer (live abroad) do you know if there’s anywhere else I can see this?

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:23

superidem she has more resources and opportunities than I had. And I still made my child my priority. She has three.

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:23

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/05/2023 22:20

He's got the addiction issues, and you're going after her?

RTFT and also read the messages from survivors of these situations. It's no laughing matter and children deserve our protection.

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 19/05/2023 22:24

It's not fair to say the children have been put through hell, he's had one relapse, and I would presume that the children were very well protected from it. They aren't witnessing their dad absolutely out of it on a daily basis, he relapsed and went straight to rehab. I think it's possible your views are clouded by your own personal experiences of addiction.

ghostyslovesheets · 19/05/2023 22:24

@GonnaGetGoingReturns exactly this - I sated with a violent man for 3 years because - as a nice, empathetic, kind human - I totally understood the childhood trauma, rejection and abusive adoption of his background and I cared and wanted to help - took me 3 bloody years to realise I couldn;t save him and had to save myself!

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:26

monicaandchandler · 19/05/2023 22:21

If she's so awful for staying with a drug addict, why did you have a child with a drug addict?

I didn't. I had a child with a man.

A lovely man who later became an alcoholic.

Amen to the "let's not blame the victims" but now you're blaming me?

Silly sausage. RTFT - including the truly moving messages for children who have survived these situations and wish one parent had advocated for them. Just an idea?

OP posts:
WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 19/05/2023 22:26

Don't let your judgy pants fall down as you gallop on your high horse.

Timeforchangeithink · 19/05/2023 22:27

Timeforchangeithink · 19/05/2023 21:46

I agree - particularly as I experienced a childhood with an alcoholic father. Yes he was to blame but much as it feels awful my mother also has blame for not leaving and not protecting us.

I should also say my first real relationship was with alcoholic - funny that. I lived him so much but somewhere deep down was that tiny bit of strength in my council estate body that knew I deserved better and so before I got pregnant I left. It absolutely killed me but I and any kids were worth more.

ghostyslovesheets · 19/05/2023 22:27

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:23

RTFT and also read the messages from survivors of these situations. It's no laughing matter and children deserve our protection.

I know you are ignore threads challenging your view - but again - having watched the show - what child protection issues did you see? How where HER children abused?

Especially since - having had 3 children - he has had ONE relapse for which he sought help?

summervibes2023 · 19/05/2023 22:27

I didn't watch the documentary, but I know roughly what it was about.

I think people's lives are very different. There's a lot of complexities involved and one approach that works for one person might not work for the other person.

Being rich has probably shielded them as well from witnessing their father's worst moments.

MayBeeJuneSoon · 19/05/2023 22:27

You are the one who had a kid with a drug addict op..... you!

And you didn't actually do anything about it until ....

'She was getting upset and increasingly agitated and it was the right thing to do.' ....

You left it till your kid was upset and agitated ...

MayBeeJuneSoon · 19/05/2023 22:27

Your own words...

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:27

ghostyslovesheets · 19/05/2023 22:24

@GonnaGetGoingReturns exactly this - I sated with a violent man for 3 years because - as a nice, empathetic, kind human - I totally understood the childhood trauma, rejection and abusive adoption of his background and I cared and wanted to help - took me 3 bloody years to realise I couldn;t save him and had to save myself!

Flowers
OP posts:
Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:28

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 19/05/2023 22:26

Don't let your judgy pants fall down as you gallop on your high horse.

I will not apologise for putting my child first. Do you need to?

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:29

MayBeeJuneSoon · 19/05/2023 22:27

You are the one who had a kid with a drug addict op..... you!

And you didn't actually do anything about it until ....

'She was getting upset and increasingly agitated and it was the right thing to do.' ....

You left it till your kid was upset and agitated ...

Nope, he's not a drug addict. Can you read? Just wondering?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 19/05/2023 22:29

@Royalbloo thanks for the flowers but actually what is needed is empathy, understanding and a bit less woman blaming and shouting about 'child protection' - when where her children at risk or abused?

Odiebay · 19/05/2023 22:29

If she put a post on here with the facts about the relapse etc I wonder what the advice would have been?.

DrManhattan · 19/05/2023 22:31

@Royalbloo I 100% agree with you. No way would I want a child of mine around that. Its just instinctive to protect your children. You will get a load of shit on here but you know you did the right thing for you and your child

StepAwayFromGoogling · 19/05/2023 22:31

Odiebay · 19/05/2023 22:29

If she put a post on here with the facts about the relapse etc I wonder what the advice would have been?.

It would have been to leave. She did leave, she went to stay with family.

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SemperIdem · 19/05/2023 22:32

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:23

superidem she has more resources and opportunities than I had. And I still made my child my priority. She has three.

Yes, I have read and fully understood that you think you are better than her. Maybe you are. It’s not a very empathetic stance to take, however.

She is rich, not infallible.

Royalbloo · 19/05/2023 22:32

DrManhattan · 19/05/2023 22:31

@Royalbloo I 100% agree with you. No way would I want a child of mine around that. Its just instinctive to protect your children. You will get a load of shit on here but you know you did the right thing for you and your child

Thank you SO much, really appreciate this x

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 19/05/2023 22:32

StepAwayFromGoogling · 19/05/2023 22:31

It would have been to leave. She did leave, she went to stay with family.

exactly - yes somehow she's still a child abuser and the one to blame!