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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I ruining the holiday?

461 replies

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:14

DP has not said as much but I just feel bad.

We spent a lot of money on a much needed holiday as we’ve been super stressed - we booked a really remote, hot location with the plan being nothing but sunbathing.
We’ve got here and it’s freezing cold, and it’s expected to be until we leave. I feel gutted because a) we spent a lot of money, b) there’s literally nothing else to do and c) he suggested other locations that I said no to because I have been before, and I should’ve gone for them as they’re really hot right now.

I keep mentioning the weather, DP keeps telling me to “make the most of it”, “it’s done now”, “it’s out of our control” etc but I just hate being cold and there’s literally nothing else to do. He told me off for looking at the weather and told me not to look again. But I just am so annoyed. Also gutted as I packed only dresses.

Also, I really wanted a holiday for us to just get away from everything as we’ve been so stressed. I said let’s just put our phones down for the week, and let’s not talk about anything going on at home that’s stressful, and let’s talk about different stuff, but he keeps scrolling each time I even walk 2 metres away. He said I put too much pressure on the holiday by saying this.
I then got upset during breakfast as he wasn’t really saying much and he said he felt pressured to make conversation. He also said he’d had 3 hours sleep and I wasn’t being understanding.

I just feel like a misery guts but I can’t help but be upset, and I don’t feel like he’s understanding. Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
WilkinsonM · 16/05/2023 04:39

You've told him not to go on his phone? And what to talk about? And there's nothing to do and it's cold? Yes YABU. Make the most of it by not trying to dictate how he relaxes!

PurpleFlower1983 · 16/05/2023 06:30

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

We’re in Greece but the weather said it was gonna be scorching and it changed last minute. We looked at hiring a car but it’s extortionate.
Our plans were beaches, books, sun etc but we can’t do any of it

Hire a car in a resort, it’s usually really cheap for a couple of days if you ask around. Which island are you on? It’s such a shame, Greece can be temperamental in May.

Ducatifan · 16/05/2023 06:36

OP isn’t coming back is she?

mincedtart · 16/05/2023 06:38

If you keep trying to control how he spends his time with you then yes, you will ruin it. Like he says, it’s done now. So let him “make the most of it” in his own way, too.

CabernetSauvignon · 16/05/2023 07:31

I can't imagine anything more dull than a sunbathing holiday. Did you really have absolutely no backup plan?

gannett · 16/05/2023 07:34

Going on your phone is an essential part of a holiday in which your original plans have been scuppered by the weather and you need to research something else to do and how to get there.

EdinaMonsoon · 16/05/2023 07:48

serendipitea · 16/05/2023 03:59

Any one of several online retailers can quickly deliver jeans and jumpers to any address in Greece, I am sure...

That’s really not true. Assuming OP is on an island, she’ll have to wait a minimum of 3 days (and often longer) for things to arrive and she’ll then have to locate the courier’s office & go collect. Unlike the UK, there’s no door to door delivery in the Greek islands, even if OP gives the name of the hotel. You still need to collect from either ELTA or one of many courier services. And returns are a complete PITA.

I agree with whoever made the comment about magical fitting jeans! The majority of stores will now have summer clothing which is why I recommended to OP is buy a knit, jacket or hoodie and perhaps some linen or cotton trousers. They won’t be as warm as jeans but preferable to floaty dresses.

RampantIvy · 16/05/2023 08:24

DD is flying to Greece today. I told her to pack a couple of jumpers and her cagoule Grin

Peridot1 · 16/05/2023 08:27

Ducatifan · 16/05/2023 06:36

OP isn’t coming back is she?

Would you given some of the awful replies from some people?

Ilovetea42 · 16/05/2023 08:34

Hi op, I'm assuming that if he's had 3 hrs sleep then you might have as well. Nobody is at their best after lots of travelling and stress and little sleep. You are still away, you are still on holiday and maybe you need some good food, a fancy drink and a long nap and then you can wake up feeling a bit more refreshed and ready to accept things for what they are and make the best of it for what it is. I've been on holiday where we've had torrential rain most days, we just bought trainers and ponchos because we hadn't packed for it and enjoyed going for long lazy lunches and shopping and museums and galleries etc etc. There's still plenty to do it just might not be quite what you originally planned. But that doesn't mean you can't have a fab time. I hope it gets better.

LuckySantangelo35 · 16/05/2023 08:34

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2023 23:42

Lol at the idea she 'buys some jeans'. The chances of there being a decent pair of jeans that fit the OP in an out of season Greek holiday resort when the rest of us are sobbing in Marks and Spencers changing rooms are zero. OP, if you find these magical jeans let me know and I'll fly out myself.

I know!
I know lots of people on here claim to not care at all what they look like, but in the real world most people do and finding a pair of jeans that are flattering etc is a right mission for most of us!

LuckySantangelo35 · 16/05/2023 08:35

Ducatifan · 16/05/2023 06:36

OP isn’t coming back is she?

Who can blame her?!
so many snotty replies

TheKobayashiMaru · 16/05/2023 08:36

FiveShelties · 15/05/2023 23:48

Another 'Post and run' thread - what a surprise.🤔

Yes, disappointing

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 16/05/2023 08:40

I would bite the bullet, get the car even if it is just to get a jumper and some jeans, and try to make the best of it.

It us not as if the weather will change just because you are not impressed, is it?

BarrelOfOtters · 16/05/2023 08:49

Also loving the idea there are galleries and museums within easy reach…..

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 16/05/2023 08:51

Hire the damn car and go have an adventure. What’s the point in moping in a dress and laying into him for looking at his phone, when you keep looking at the weather?

Maddy70 · 16/05/2023 08:53

jasmine92 · 15/05/2023 10:25

We’re in Greece but the weather said it was gonna be scorching and it changed last minute. We looked at hiring a car but it’s extortionate.
Our plans were beaches, books, sun etc but we can’t do any of it

Go for days out. So much history and lovely things to see in Greece

silverbubbles · 16/05/2023 09:33

Get a jumper on. Go for some lovely walks. Find out what the sites are and go to them, Go out for coffee, lunch, dinner. Get cosy and read your book. Let your partner go on their phone.

I went to the Seychelles recently for holiday of a lifetime and it blew a gale - you need to get over it.

RL24 · 16/05/2023 09:42

It’s ok to feel disappointed but
oelase don’t let it ruin the whole holiday which you’ve worked so hard to pay for.
What facilities does the hotel have, must have some of it was an expensive holiday? Nice restaurants/spa/pool etc

Make a plan for these rest of your time there:

Firstly get some cheap warm clothes - leggings and a fleece? Can you wear what you travelled in and hand wash/hotel laundry before you leave?

Enjoy a lie in followed by a lovely breakfast
Hire bikes
Go for a hike
Visit local towns/villages for a stroll/shopping/food - travel by bus/taxi/hire car/hotel service?
Sit on the balcony with a blanket and read a book
Get in bed and watch series/films
Visit another hotel with a spa or indoor pool if yours doesn’t have one

Use this as a chance to relax, no chores, no work etc. You can come back relaxed if you allow it

With regards to the phone use - we usually agree no phones during meals (I find it rude to be sat at a table scrolling even at home) but other than that are quite relaxed about it - can you reach a compromise?

Batalax · 16/05/2023 09:51

People in good relationships pull together in adversity. You aren’t helping your relationship op.

Hellolola · 16/05/2023 09:55

We are also in Greece atm. The weather is truly terrible. We rented a car but have barely used it because the rain is so bad it’s like if we drive to a beach or somewhere then we’d just be sat in the rain still? I do feel your pain as we were super sad too but you can’t control the weather..
you just have to find other things to do.. we’ve napped.. ate, drank.. you can ask for blankets in the tavernas… that’s what I’ve been doing so you can keep warm

Achwheesht · 16/05/2023 10:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

badger2005 · 16/05/2023 10:19

Hellolola · 16/05/2023 09:55

We are also in Greece atm. The weather is truly terrible. We rented a car but have barely used it because the rain is so bad it’s like if we drive to a beach or somewhere then we’d just be sat in the rain still? I do feel your pain as we were super sad too but you can’t control the weather..
you just have to find other things to do.. we’ve napped.. ate, drank.. you can ask for blankets in the tavernas… that’s what I’ve been doing so you can keep warm

Oh no!
We are going to Greece (Athens) in about a week and a half. I had imagined it would be a lovely temperature for sightseeing but also just sitting around having a drink outside. Also we are going up the coast a little bit and I had imagined swimming...
When I look at the met office, it seems to say it's currently about 23 degrees, which sounds nice. Is it warm-ish, but just unusually rainy?
What should we pack? Are shorts not really where it is at?

crackofdoom · 16/05/2023 10:42

Get yourself a warm jumper and jeans or tracksuit bottoms, even Greece have the likes of H&M or Zara. Take walks on the beach. Go to a restaurant and have a good meal. Chill - mentally. And enjoy.

Tell us you've never been to a Greek island without telling us you've never been to a Greek island Grin

Yeah, Patmos, Kythera, Alonissos, Angistri, Paros.....all crawling with high street clothing stores.

OP will be lucky if she manages to find an overpriced tacky hoodie with a picture of a dolphin wearing sunglasses emblazoned on it (or maybe an icon of St. John the Evangelist if Patmos Grin)

WisherWood · 16/05/2023 11:31

What should we pack? Are shorts not really where it is at?

IME for most holidays lots of layers are best. Even if the weather is reliably hot during the day, except at the height of a heatwave it will cool at night. So yes, a dress or two or some shorts, but also several thin jumpers that you can layer and some leggings you could wear with the dresses. Plus a lightweight, windproof and waterproof jacket. It's about having options, without jamming the suitcase too full.