To not allow DD to go on school trip for breaking phones?

[Feefoog]

My DD 10 yo DD has broken her phone. I thought fine I have a spare one. DDs put a pin on the spare factory reset model. I have reset the phone but it says put in previous users emails. I've tried both mine and DDs emails, I think she's created an email to get round family link and screen time she said she might have done this. I'm really mad she's effectively broken 2 phones and broken my trust . She has a phone to walk to and from school so needs one, she has a school residential that's £310 which is already expensive. It's not so much about the money its that she shows no regard for rules, money or possessions.

AIBU to refuse to pay for this school trip as she needs a new phone well 2 phones really hers and the spare. She has already been snowboarding this year and will be having 2 weeks in Greece in August so its not like she won't be having trips away.

Couldn't you get her a £18 nokia phone for walking to and from school?

I think it's quite harsh, but can see why you're angry with her.

Is it her year 6 residential? I couldn't do it personally.

Oh just to to add the school trip is £310 for 2 nights.

Trips away with school are not comparable to family holidays. Buy her a cheap phone for safety purposes walking to and from school and tell her if she looks after that for x amount of time you will buy her a better one for birthday/Christmas or whatever.

Let her go but don't get her another phone
They'll aways be a way of contacting you, we managed in the past

It's kind of irrelevant, if you were going to pay it anyway before the phone saga? You'd really cancel a trip to buy her two new phones??

Let her go on the residential.
Buy a cheap phone if she really does need one.
Don't get an expensive one until she can be trusted.

Get her an embarrassing phone- the £18 Nokia sounds perfect. Hopefully peer pressure will mean that she will cave in and give you the passwords and email address that she used.

Just get her a cheap phone. You could even get a second hand or refurbished one. I wouldn't stop her going on a school trip.

What type of phones did she have? Can’t she just have a bog standard £20 phone for walking to and from school? 10 is really very young to fully understand the responsibility of a phone. Logically, to me, the punishment would he simply not having a phone. If she’s been using a workaround to get more screen time etc then presumably the phone was quite advanced and now she suffers as a result of being careless.

I’d probably be unlikely to take the trip away from her. It seems really harsh when it’s got nothing to do with the phones really.

As others said of you really want her to have a phone for walking to school then get a brick.

I don't think canceling residential will really mean anything, kids learn better with natural consequences so the natural consequence of being careless with a phone is to not have one for have a brick that only makes calls. In fact if she's been getting around parental controls then even more reason to have a brick or no phone.

Fwiw my yr6 walks to school and back, doesn't have a phone and I really don't see the need for one for that purpose.

She's 10, she doesn't need the latest iPhone.

Don't stop her from going on the trip.
Consequences need to be proportionate and actually relate to what she's done wrong.

Asking her to save up, do extra jobs etc fine but the school trip is nothing to do with this.

I'd let her go on the trip, she will always remember if you don't let her go and use it as a stick to beat you at every argument about how unfair her life is and how unreasonable you are!!! Find another way to show her the consequences of what she did

She's done the same with my tablet took it worked out my password then used it to get round screen time, parental locks it's not the first time she's done it. So I think I'm going to have to lock all devices away. I'm so angry with her. More for not listening, I guess she's clever though for working it out.

Does she really need a phone for walking to and from school? Completely banned at DDs primary school.

Natural consequence here is no phone until birthday m/Christmas.

No I definitely wouldn't do that I think it's too harsh. I would instead not get another phone. That's more aligned to what you are trying to teach too.

The trip is important.

She doesn't actually need a smartphone or truly any phone. And I say that as a parent of an 11 year old. Remember we all.used to walk home without phones. When my son is badly behaved I take his off him and he can walk home without it he survives !

I think we can teach kids we arent scared to remove their phones

I didn't say that.
I mean if she has an old smartphone as many primary school kids seem to have then downgrade her to a phone that doesn't even come with internet and literally just phone calls and texts.

Would you get the money back from the school trip if you cancel at a late stage?

Buy her a cheap phone that lets her text and make calls only - not a smart phone. She's demonstrated that not only is she not able to take care of phones, she's deliberately tried to get around your screen time restrictions.

You need to change your passwords to something she won't guess. Use the 3 word type passwords. She'll never guess them.
Agree with the other posters, get her the cheapest phone you can for emergencies. No internet or anything. She'll need to save pocket money or something to get something better.

Why does she need a phone to walk to school?

She needs a phone to call you in an emergency and for you to call her, so get her that phone. £20 will be enough.

Then you've enough left over to pay for the trip. Maybe reduce any spending money she would have had by £20 to cover the new phone (or get her to do jobs to pay for the £20 phone).

I haven't paid for it yet its late June due date was end of May to pay.. I'm so upset with her she knows how upset I was about the tablet.

10 year old doesn’t need a smart phone. She should have a pager style one - able to message/ call out and receive texts/calls.