Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 17 18

AIBU?

Paying for our own food - dinner party

438 replies

ColdBrewInSummer · 12/05/2023 18:19

we were invited to a friends house for dinner. Took a bottle of good wine with us, we wouldn’t ever go empty handed.

had a good meal, but they sent us a message after asking for money for each person! I thought this was crazy and I would never ask anyone to pay for their food if I invited them over!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed? We’ve already arranged to have them to ours in a few weeks time and I’m not asking them
for anything!

OP posts:

Thanks

Share

Report

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

SeanMean · 12/05/2023 18:20

That’s awful behaviour!!!

What is wrong with some people?!

Thanks

SeanMean · 12/05/2023 18:20

Sorry, YANBU!

Thanks

searchingforstyle · 12/05/2023 18:21

Outrageous behaviour and incredibly rude

Thanks

TheChosenTwo · 12/05/2023 18:21

I just don’t believe people actually do this 😱

Thanks

Dwightlovesmichael · 12/05/2023 18:21

That’s incredibly rude.

If they couldn’t afford to host then they should have asked everyone over and to bring a plate of food.

Or say come over and we will get a takeaway but would everyone mind paying for their own share.

But to ask for money afterward is just crazy.

Thanks

Hadalifeonce · 12/05/2023 18:21

I would just send 🤣

Thanks

gamerchick · 12/05/2023 18:23

Send them a message back saying absolutely not. If you want to charge then you should say costs upfront so you can make an informed choice.

Don't do the polite thing and pay up. This is how the fuckers get away with it.

Thanks

Camillasfagwrinkles · 12/05/2023 18:23

That's unbelievably rude. I would be absolutely mortified to know someone that tight.

Thanks

Badbudgeter · 12/05/2023 18:24

We used to do this as students but not nowadays. Couldn’t you just text them back saying we are hosting on x. Cost will be the same shall we just call it even?

Thanks

ColdBrewInSummer · 12/05/2023 18:24

Dwightlovesmichael · 12/05/2023 18:21

That’s incredibly rude.

If they couldn’t afford to host then they should have asked everyone over and to bring a plate of food.

Or say come over and we will get a takeaway but would everyone mind paying for their own share.

But to ask for money afterward is just crazy.

My thoughts precisely!
they’d got nice steaks from the butcher etc which I can imagine was expensive. But still - I was pretty miffed!

I wouldn’t dream of ever doing that. I’ve had friends over in the past when I was a student and broke and I would just do a big stew and tell everyone to bring a bottle! But it wouldn’t cross my mind to text someone after!!

OP posts:

Thanks

Wishimaywishimight · 12/05/2023 18:25

I'd text back "As you are coming to ours on X date shall we just call it quits?" After that I wouldn't go to dinner at theirs again.

Thanks

PyjamaFan · 12/05/2023 18:25

I would pay but then cancel the invitation.

Thanks

Floralnomad · 12/05/2023 18:26

Just message back and say the wine cost x so I will take that off and don’t bother coming to ours as you are not the type of people we wish to be friends with .

Thanks

bleueygreeny · 12/05/2023 18:28

I'd be tempted to reply something cheeky, but for the sake of keeping things cordial and preserving your friendship (if you want to), maybe reply something along those lines?:

"Thanks for having us over for dinner, we had a great time! We brought the wine as a gift, but we didn't realise it was BYOF (bring your own food) event and weren't expecting to have to pay towards our food. How about you come for dinner to mine on the x, instead?"

Did they invite you or did you kind of invite yourself without meaning to? If that's the case and it has happened multiple times in the past, maybe they're hinting towards something

Thanks

EasterBreak · 12/05/2023 18:28

I would laugh and assume they are joking.

Thanks

TidyDancer · 12/05/2023 18:28

Wishimaywishimight · 12/05/2023 18:25

I'd text back "As you are coming to ours on X date shall we just call it quits?" After that I wouldn't go to dinner at theirs again.

I would do this.

They are grade A CF's.

Thanks

woodhill · 12/05/2023 18:29

Disgusting behaviour

Thanks

EasterBreak · 12/05/2023 18:29

How much have they asked for?

Thanks

bleueygreeny · 12/05/2023 18:29

But if it were me tbh I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them anymore. I'd either pay up and ask them to deduct the price of the wine bottle or I wouldn't pay at all.

Thanks

BellaJuno · 12/05/2023 18:30

Wishimaywishimight · 12/05/2023 18:25

I'd text back "As you are coming to ours on X date shall we just call it quits?" After that I wouldn't go to dinner at theirs again.

Exactly what I’d do!

Thanks

AssertiveGertrude · 12/05/2023 18:30

This is seriously so rude
I wouldn’t respond

Thanks

Fandabedodgy · 12/05/2023 18:31

Heard it all now 😳😳😳

Thanks

minipie · 12/05/2023 18:31

WTAF

I have never heard of anyone doing this. Unbelievable.

Thanks

ColdBrewInSummer · 12/05/2023 18:32

We were very much invited! They’d just moved so wanted to host at their new apartment.

Asked for just over £20 each. I’m assuming that was all the food they cooked divided by all of us.

we really enjoy their company, they’re great friends. It’s just this I can’t get over…

OP posts:

Thanks

catgirl1976 · 12/05/2023 18:33

How was it worded? I’m just …wow

thats just not a thing

Thanks

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 17 18

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.