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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can't cook in my own home

808 replies

Bambambino1 · 10/05/2023 15:41

I am sympathetic to my DH here but, this is getting ridiculous. I'm just keen to hear what others think about this and how you'd handle it.

Bit of background, my DH hates all food smells. Is stresses him out just thinking about it. I think more so than normal people (you know what I mean). On that basis, we pretty much only have oven cooked meals and pretty much the same thing most nights. He likes to eat a lot of fruit and veg separately to his main meals, but I'm not personally very good at that (so I'm almost certainly not getting the nutrients I need!)

We've been together 11 years. So for 11 years now I've pretty much not been able to do anything at all that involves frying food or cooking anything that smells bad. I've suggested an air fryer but apparently that makes the house smell. Slow cooker definitely a no-go on that basis. I can put a pizza in the oven, but not really make anything from scratch! He's basically in charge in the kitchen.

To clarify, this isn't a control thing on his part. He's just insistent that food smells will give him a mental breakdown, and he says this is linked to his mental health. I don't believe it's as bad as he says (maybe that's unreasonable of me), I just think he's almost convinced himself of it. We've argued today because I want to cook something tomorrow when he's in the office. He got very worked up about this because of how the house will smell. I said he can open windows, use the extractor fan, burn incense...I don't care what we do, I just want to cook something!!

Just, I don't want to go though my whole life not using my kitchen and cooking anything ever?!

I was just planning on cooking tomorrow when he was out anyway, and see how he copes when he gets home. Is that wrong?

Sorry, I do appreciate how this sounds but it's a genuine problem!

OP posts:
Mirabai · 14/05/2023 22:38

porridgeisbae · 14/05/2023 22:30

@Mirabai You're talking to someone who is actually claiming these things and has done through their various incarnations, since 2002 Grin

How do you think I know how the system works eh?

Clearly you’re a current claimant but that hasn’t stopped you making wildly inaccurate statements.

porridgeisbae · 14/05/2023 22:51

@Mirabai As have you about work inevitably being good for the PP's son that you've never met.

Don't get me wrong, I get what you mean about how it works etc. They said they were going to keep reviewing people all the time, no one would get an indefinite award etc. But they've realized that they were just making work for themselves. That's why they've admitted that now some conditions are going to be reviewed with a 'light touch' (effectively going back to/nearer to the old amount of reviewing.) Because the amount of work for their own system was ridiculous and unnecessary and it pretty much crumbled, or at least was probably a massive waste of money/time.

BornBlonde · 14/05/2023 23:02

Well done in standing up for yourself! Your DH need to work on his mental health so he changed his behaviour

Mirabai · 14/05/2023 23:36

porridgeisbae · 14/05/2023 22:51

@Mirabai As have you about work inevitably being good for the PP's son that you've never met.

Don't get me wrong, I get what you mean about how it works etc. They said they were going to keep reviewing people all the time, no one would get an indefinite award etc. But they've realized that they were just making work for themselves. That's why they've admitted that now some conditions are going to be reviewed with a 'light touch' (effectively going back to/nearer to the old amount of reviewing.) Because the amount of work for their own system was ridiculous and unnecessary and it pretty much crumbled, or at least was probably a massive waste of money/time.

I made no statement, I simply asked the poster a question.

They are still reviewing people with lifelong disabilities who don’t score sufficient points on review and have to go to tribunal. It happens all the time.

Fraaahnces · 15/05/2023 15:56

@porridgeisbae & @Mirabai
Do you two think you could take it outside? Maybe biff it out in your own thread?

TheCatterall · 15/05/2023 16:42

Fraaahnces · 15/05/2023 15:56

@porridgeisbae & @Mirabai
Do you two think you could take it outside? Maybe biff it out in your own thread?

👏 👏 👏 @Fraaahnces

anon2022anon · 19/05/2023 11:54

@Bambambino1 How have things been since then? Did you come to an agreement?

Stewball01 · 23/05/2023 14:15

Awful situation.

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