Is it just me or are narcissistic people everywhere these days?

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

Everyday I'm seeing threads on here describing sinister narcissistic abuse and women coming to the realisation that their DP/DH is a narcissist of some description.
What is causing the increase in narcissists?
Could it be that society is more aware of narcissism in general?
According to experts, only 1-5% of the population is a narcissist. So those people are clearly doing lots of damage somehow.
As for myself, I was raised by a toxic mother who was basically like another teenage girl in the house, the atmosphere was awful and she still can't work out why we're estranged.
My stbxp is a dangerously manipulative and abusive covert narcissist who I'm planning my escape from every day now.

It's always been a pretty overused word on MN though.

People sometimes use it when they mean 'extremely selfish'.

I dont have anything to add but I agree with this.

My ex bf from 15 years ago was a complete narcissist. My counsellor made me realise what he was and he fit all the traits to a tee. I'm currently going through a divorce and my sister believes my stbxh is a narcissist. I disagree with this and think he is extremely selfish and self centred, but he's certainly not a narc when I compare him to my other ex, who was on a whole other level of absolutely fuckery.

I agree on the over-use. “Narcissism” is so often used to mean “Behaviour I don’t like and I saw a meme on FB about narcissism so that’s what it must be and I’m a victim”.

True narcissism is quite rare and diagnosed by clinicians, not self-proclaimed therapists on social media.

@NeatCompactSleeper @DecommissionedVag @BrightYellowDaffodil a true narcissist is well and truly crazy making and often you genuinely feel like you're the problem or even think you're a narcissist yourself.
My last partner before this one was also an a hole but stbxp takes the cake.
In one of his most recent rants he actually called my Ddad a paedophile. Which is obviously untrue. At that moment, the mask didn't just slip. It completely fell off and I saw him for what he was. A rational person doesn't throw baseless and dangerous accusations out of nowhere.
Combine that with all the lies he tells to make himself look good to others and in reality he's a deadbeat father and a bum.
In addition to telling me that I'm mentally unstable and unfit to look after my son.
Yeah this one definitely is a narcissist.

Narcissist, anxiety and gaslighting are all overused on here and often not in the correct context.

The term is somewhat overused on here.

A lot of people seem to be using it to mean "a person who disagrees with me".

To my knowledges I have never ever met anyone narcissistic.

I sure as heck haven’t been in a relationship with one - whether friend or lover.

and no one in my family is

it all over mumsnet though

husbands, partners and in laws can’t just be twats. They have to narcissists

So many of one term over used.

A narcissist generally gets away with it, if your asking about a pattern of behaviour then they aren't a narcissist. A true narcissistic person would make you believe you are the problem.

I'm a mental health professional and there are always phases when people use a diagnosis to mean something different to what mental health professionals mean.
(Eg people saying "I'm a bit OCD" if they like cleaning.)
I think narcissist is one of these - very few people would meet the diagnosis criteria for narcissistic personality disorder but it's being used to mean anyone who behaves very badly.
Even perpetrators of abuse do not necessarily have narcissistic personality disorder.

I agree with this - people just use it as a word to describe people they find difficult or don't get on with.

Op you have started multiple threads about your partner.

I think the time has come to stop posting and start acting

Yes it's very over used in here usually an ex or mil,that the op doesn't like d so they decide they are a narcissist 🙄

My best friend uses the word liberally - recently diagnosing at least 3 of the men on MAFS Australia. She also refers to a mutual friend as narcissistic but in actual fact the friend is just vain, snobbish and a tad petty.

It's definitely over used.

Agree with the posts above. 5 years ago noone was a 'narcissist'. By contrast, today everyone you don't like is a 'narc'.

And everyone who's a bit anxious about something suffers with anxiety.

Or toxic.

I think there are definitely a lot of people about who have narcissistic traits, but a real true narcissist is probably quite rare.

As a PP mentioned, if the estimate is between 1-5% of the population, then there are between 680k - 3.4 million in the UK (even less who are at adult age). Or to put that in perspective, if you know 100 people (of all ages) then between 1 and 5 of them will be narcissists...which means you will have probably encountered one (or more) at some point. 😐

Or ND

I have been acting. I have a safety plan and escape plan in place. But this is the only safe place I have to vent.
He's not interested in Mumsnet because to him Mumsnet is infested with feminists which shows how misogynistic he is.
He's got history of reading my text messages and stuff. He used to be able to tell me what I'd said to people about how he treats me.

Completely overused term on MN it's beginning to get on my nerves . Some of us truly know what the effects are of being the victim of a narcissist.

I think there are definitely a lot of people about who have narcissistic traits.

I should imagine most people do, or at least have the capacity to behave in a way that displays narcissistic traits. That’s why it can’t be used as a definition of who is a bad person and who is not.

(There is a deep irony to someone I know wanging on endlessly about how their ex partner is a “narc” while being absolutely oblivious to their own horrendous behaviour. That their partner upped and left is - apparently - due to the partner’s narcissism and nothing to do with finally reaching the end of their tether )

My mum is a narcissist, she stopped speaking to me because another family member left me some money in a will, even though she got more money than I did. I even offered it to her, she said no.
She stopped speaking to me because of it, that was 15 years ago. I’ve done quite well in life, degree then a masters, professional career. People can’t believe I have this shit show of a family. So yes they do exist!

@GraysPapaya Why does that make her a narcissist rather than just a shitty person?