Is it just me or are narcissistic people everywhere these days?

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

Everyday I'm seeing threads on here describing sinister narcissistic abuse and women coming to the realisation that their DP/DH is a narcissist of some description.
What is causing the increase in narcissists?
Could it be that society is more aware of narcissism in general?
According to experts, only 1-5% of the population is a narcissist. So those people are clearly doing lots of damage somehow.
As for myself, I was raised by a toxic mother who was basically like another teenage girl in the house, the atmosphere was awful and she still can't work out why we're estranged.
My stbxp is a dangerously manipulative and abusive covert narcissist who I'm planning my escape from every day now.

They were diagnosed through the judicial system as some with very serious NPD sometimes are . I did not say any of what you have stated in your post ! Please do not make assumptions concerning my reality !

I think it’s 1 in 10 people
Lots are not diagnosed

@Wiccan through the judicial system I have a feeling that my narcissist will be diagnosed that way or he might just plead insanity to avoid responsibility. I have evidence that he's doing really quite sexually deviant things that could possibly be against the law. I need to make sure that myself and DS are safely out before I open my mouth because I'm convinced he'd actually kill me over it.

@Timehaspassed that would make sense. My narcissist is always telling me that I need help with my mental health and I'm unstable. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I actually engage with mental health services and my GP trusts me to make contact when things aren't good.
Meanwhile, the narcissist skips around ruining lives and not taking accountability for his issues.

My sister is almost certainly one. Their behaviour genuinely makes zero sense. It’s really creepy. Emotionless generally yet extremely reactive when challenged. Grandiose in behaviour and craves validation yet will lie so much over so many things and if you dare question it it’s a direct attack and will run round in circles to deflect so that you are the problem. It’s really quite sad and clearly stems from insecurity certainly in her case, everyone else is always the problem and her truth is that she is the victim. I agree it is overused generally. People can be horrible/unpleasant/bullying without being narcissistic. I would also say though that people who do know a narcissist are going to come and post about it VS people who don’t know one, who won’t. So it will look disproportionate but the reality is still that it’s a tiny amount of people.

You need to keep yourself safe. Not all with NPD are violent but they can still cause immense mental harm . Only you know the type of person you are up against and what they are capable of .

It really is exhausting isn't it . The most obvious is the absolute inability to have any form of empathy for anything or anyone and the lie to cover a lie to cover another lie and the changing of reality . It causes really severe harm . I really believe I will be in therapy on and off for the rest of my life.

You've just described my narcissist perfectly. It really is a disorder that has a very low rate of improvement because they just can't see their own issues and take accountability for their dreadful behaviour.

@Wiccan my narcissist has never been physical with me but I know there's a first time for everything and I'd really like to avoid being beaten in front of DS.

it is the last days and the apostles warned people will be lovers of self, idolatrous, lacking love, their love towards others - meaning even their basic humanness growing cold. You are seeing the prophecies being fullfilled

ref: apostles from the christian new testament

most people have narcissistic traits that show at some point in there life

This

At certain times in life those narcissistic traits are really strong and seem to engulf their personality.

Then their are other people who actually have a personality disorder that isn't NPD, which is more scary.

I’ve met someone who is most likely a clinical narcissist. These people are rare, I’ve not met anyone else quite like that. But then she’s overt
and completely lacking in self awareness. So maybe I would miss someone else who’s a bit more discreet about it.

Go with your gut feeling ,if you think it might happen then your probably right. When a person with NPD knows your onto them prepare for the worst , their greatest fear is to lose control .

@Wiccan I know. I'm quite aware that he's going to completely unravel once I end it. He's threatened suicide in the past when I've tried to leave but being honest, when I read between the lines, I think he's hinting to murder-suicide. It would fit his idea that he owns myself and DS. If I leave and take DS it'll ruin his image of the perfect family man. He won't be able to abide by that.

Covert narcissists are just as awful if not worse because the abuse is even more hidden.

I think I've seen something like this in revelations

That's terrifying my heart goes out to you.💐
My experience was not like that as it is a family member but just as mentally destructive and cruel.
It really makes me angry that when someone is in the situation you are some people's reaction is to say " oh just leave the bastard" . It's really not that easy is it , as the leaving is the dangerous part .

This is why armchair diagnosis is so dangerous. Most people have some behaviours and traits that align them with most things. I exhibit some traits that align with ASD, ADHD, bipolar, narcissism and psychopathy. So does literally everyone I know. I'm pretty sure a qualified professional would tell me I have none of those things. But these days, MN is like

" I struggle to make friends"= you have ASD
" I can only concentrate on things I find interesting"= you have ADHD

ps that is not to say that these things are not real. They are. But random people claiming they have all these things isn't helping. Its like people who like cleaning saying they have OCD. It minimises the experiences of people who genuinely have it.

@Whataninsight Well bully for you!

My late mil was diagnosed with narcissistic tendencies and borderline personality disorder
It was exhausting dealing with her. She was very difficult.
People often tell me this person or that person is a ' narc' and I sometimes think that they haven't a clue really , but I keep quiet because they would only argue that they are. It tends to be about people's ex's or their partners ex's that have these labels, which also makes me think it's just become too easy to just say this because really they don't like the people much or they are getting one side of the story.
'Armchair diagnosis 'isn't always a good thing especially without a proper diagnosis from a Doctor who specializes in this area.

Totally and it's even worse when people are chair diagnose in jest,Jews someone on near diagnose Prince Louis,as almost certainly Neuro diverse and it was so cute as their child was Neuro diverse ignoring the fact that that Neuro diversity is a fucking,huge spectrum and it's not also cute when your own child (like mine ) is massively disabled by it but hey ho,it's cute 🙄

If you've spent years in a relationship with someone who displays all the signs of being a narcissist you know what you're talking about. My narcissistic ex made me so unwell due to his behaviour I ended up in a mental hospital. That definitely wasn't just due to selfishness ... he was awful.

There is surely a difference between someone being narcissistic (which is a behaviour i.e., being hugely self involved and selfish) and a narcissist (which is a disorder i.e., meeting the criteria for a diagnosis).

It is fine to use the first, so long as you don't mistake it for the second. Many people seem to.

Today's world does seem to allow for many people to have a overly inflated sense of self importance but that still isn't the same thing.