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Original poster

Everything I did wrong yesterday according to DH

267 replies

Everythingisfallinagpart81 · 07/05/2023 09:03

DH and I have been having issues for a while. 2 full time jobs, 2 children (7 &2) and the fact we barely see each other due to him working shifts and me being office based don't help but its getting to the point where I actually dread spending time with him at weekends and yesterday is a classic example of why.

Below is a list of everything I did wrong according to DH and he critiqued me for:

When the dc woke up in the morning I went downstairs and did then drinks and a snack for the oldest but didn't do dh or myself a drink. I didn't have the hands to carry drinks up for us as well, but apparently it was selfish of me to not even make them and then either of us could have gone back downstairs to get them

Both dc have swimming lessons on a Saturday. Youngest hasn't been for a few weeks due to various reasons. Got to his lesson and he was the only one there and he was obviously not happy to be in the lesson (screaming to the point of being hysterical) so the teacher and I agreed there was no point forcing it so I got him out and took him in the the main pool. After a while he did calm down but he wasn't himself

We went to a friends in the afternoon and it was a busy house (5 adults and 6 children including ours) youngest hasn't been there before so was very overwhelmed and had just woken up from a nap when we got there so was a bit emotional so wanted to sit on my lap. He also hadn't had much lunch so I got him some lunch and let him eat on my lap. According to dh I should have put him down on the floor and let him eat there so he wasn't attached to me. After 30 minutes dc got down himself and was fine and spent the day running around having fun.

Whilst at friends house, youngest wanted to walk around but wanted me to go with them (their house has a loop so you can walk through) and he wanted to hold my hand while going through which I was fine with and especially being someone else's house, but according to DH I should have just left him to it and not gone with him.

When we got into bed last night I apparently stole the duvet when I tried to cuddle up to him (I moved it about 1cm) which resulted in him shouting at me to get off and he's still not talking to me know after everything I did wrong yesterday

These seem like minor things now I've written them down but these are just examples of what a day is like.

And if you made it to the end well done!

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 07/05/2023 09:04

Bloody hell, why are you still with him?

Americano75 · 07/05/2023 09:04

Is he always this much of a cunt?

TheCrystalPalace · 07/05/2023 09:05

Blimey!
What a prince.
And what exactly did HE do yesterday, to facilitate family life?

CrapBucket · 07/05/2023 09:06

That sounds exhausting. You deserve a better life that that x

Menopants · 07/05/2023 09:06

This sounds horrible. What was he doing apart from standing on the sidelines with a clipboard cosplaying an ofsted inspector?

Quartz2208 · 07/05/2023 09:06

So he doesn’t like you parenting then.

he seems jealous of the time you spend with your children

PyjamaFan · 07/05/2023 09:07

And you're still with him because..?

OrigamiOwls · 07/05/2023 09:07

Does he bring anything positive to this relationship?

Comtesse · 07/05/2023 09:08

Is he always this critical?

Why does he think you are interested in a running appraisal of your performance?

How have you not told him to piss off mind his own business?

Cherryana · 07/05/2023 09:08

I can’t see anything ‘wrong’ at all.

I will say because I think men are great big babies (and that is insulting to babies) he is feeling rejected, and Ignored and jealous of the care and attention you show to the children. But he doesn’t say or help, he just seethes and lashes out.

Cloud9Super · 07/05/2023 09:08

So you’re the default parent and he’s a net negative on the whole situation. Get rid, OP!

lionsleepstonight · 07/05/2023 09:09

All I can see from your post is he's jealous of the time and effort your kids are getting. Very childish and ugly behaviour.

msisfine · 07/05/2023 09:09

Americano75 · 07/05/2023 09:04

Is he always this much of a cunt?

Yeah, this really.

LubaLuca · 07/05/2023 09:10

He seems to have lost all affection for you, maybe resents you for whatever reason, and is now seeing every one of your actions as aggravating.

How do you feel about him?

JuneOsborne · 07/05/2023 09:11

So he didn't take them swimming, didn't get them a drink in the morning (or you). Didn't sort the lunch for the youngest and didn't play with them at the friend's house. And he was a moody cunt about it all?.

These are the reasons you should be fucked off with him. Want to add any more?

Newmumma83 · 07/05/2023 09:11

wow Talk about picking part everything you do.
If this is every weekend , i think j would be getting ready to pack my bags.
is he stressed at work? Or is he jealous that kids are the priority ? Or a bit of both?

also he could have got up and got kids drinks and you guys something your not the only adult
…. or perhaps you are

KnitFastDieWarm · 07/05/2023 09:12

Are you married to my exH?

It’s exhausting, depressing and demoralising living with someone who treats you like the tiresome
hired help. Don’t put up with it.

Original poster
Everythingisfallinagpart81 · 07/05/2023 09:13

Yes he is always this critical but it has definitely got worse over the last few months.

I can't breathe without being critised.

I have recently been on a course which is something I have wanted to do since I was about 5, have passed all the exams with 100% and he's not once said well done or anything, but actually critised how I looked in the uniform that I would have to wear when I pass this

Everything has to be his way or he sulks and says how unappreciated he is.

OP posts:
pussycatinfluffyslippers · 07/05/2023 09:14

He sounds jealous of the attention you give to your kids.

LubaLuca · 07/05/2023 09:15

So what are your feeling for him?

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 07/05/2023 09:16

crossposted with OP.

Now he just sounds like a repulsive prick.

Chucklecheeks01 · 07/05/2023 09:17

If his behaviour has just started in the last few months I'd be suspicious of an affair.

Fairowing · 07/05/2023 09:18

He’s jealous of your kids and your success. These criticisms are to lower your self confidence and make you believe you need him. Then mix in his comments about being unappreciated so you listen and act on the nonsense he’s saying.

Americano75 · 07/05/2023 09:18

You need to find your anger before this guy wears you down completely, and he will.

Scaryshepherd · 07/05/2023 09:19

Fairowing · 07/05/2023 09:18

He’s jealous of your kids and your success. These criticisms are to lower your self confidence and make you believe you need him. Then mix in his comments about being unappreciated so you listen and act on the nonsense he’s saying.

This is exactly what I was about to say.
I don’t think this is going to get better, unfortunately.

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