Everything I did wrong yesterday according to DH

[Everythingisfallinagpart81]

DH and I have been having issues for a while. 2 full time jobs, 2 children (7 &2) and the fact we barely see each other due to him working shifts and me being office based don't help but its getting to the point where I actually dread spending time with him at weekends and yesterday is a classic example of why.

Below is a list of everything I did wrong according to DH and he critiqued me for:

When the dc woke up in the morning I went downstairs and did then drinks and a snack for the oldest but didn't do dh or myself a drink. I didn't have the hands to carry drinks up for us as well, but apparently it was selfish of me to not even make them and then either of us could have gone back downstairs to get them

Both dc have swimming lessons on a Saturday. Youngest hasn't been for a few weeks due to various reasons. Got to his lesson and he was the only one there and he was obviously not happy to be in the lesson (screaming to the point of being hysterical) so the teacher and I agreed there was no point forcing it so I got him out and took him in the the main pool. After a while he did calm down but he wasn't himself

We went to a friends in the afternoon and it was a busy house (5 adults and 6 children including ours) youngest hasn't been there before so was very overwhelmed and had just woken up from a nap when we got there so was a bit emotional so wanted to sit on my lap. He also hadn't had much lunch so I got him some lunch and let him eat on my lap. According to dh I should have put him down on the floor and let him eat there so he wasn't attached to me. After 30 minutes dc got down himself and was fine and spent the day running around having fun.

Whilst at friends house, youngest wanted to walk around but wanted me to go with them (their house has a loop so you can walk through) and he wanted to hold my hand while going through which I was fine with and especially being someone else's house, but according to DH I should have just left him to it and not gone with him.

When we got into bed last night I apparently stole the duvet when I tried to cuddle up to him (I moved it about 1cm) which resulted in him shouting at me to get off and he's still not talking to me know after everything I did wrong yesterday

These seem like minor things now I've written them down but these are just examples of what a day is like.

And if you made it to the end well done!

Oh, PLEASE tell me where I mentioned many grandchildren!

I know you aren't the brightest bulb on the chandelier, but you CAN be a Nana of one and have young people you treat like grandchildren, even though the relation is purely through the heart. Of course, that has to do with things like love and compassion, something you know nothing about, do you?

I think your children need another few pounds of fruit. Get cracking!

She's upset because she got caught telling fibs and making up stories about a stepmom on another thread. It was about fruit consumption and when is it too much. She made dozens of posts castigating and denigrating the stepmom and making up stories about the situation (Cinderella was a doozy!). Claiming things that were not true. Many, many of her posts got deleted because of what she was saying. She got called out on it, so now has decided to stalk the people who called her out on the untruths and stories.

I think she hates stepmoms for some reason. She also feeds her DC pounds of fruit a day, according to her.

So, that's it in a nutshell. Bet that was a fun read, wasn't it? LOL!🤔😉

Seriously, you’ve stalked that poster over several threads now. What is going on?

And ‘mental health’ issues? Are you serious?

You’re the one with the erratic and manic posting style. Seriously. It’s alarming.

And maybe she was a ‘nana of one’ when she chose the nickname, but more have come along since.

You really need to step back. That poster is not the one with the problem…

I saw that on the other thread. Some people are off their rockers and will do anything to lay into an OP. Really odd behaviour.

Long gone are the days of this being a supportive and helpful forum, now it’s a sadistic arena whereby people get their jollies taking potshots at anyone masochistic enough to post a thread.

What a sad, sad person you are. To go onto threads where real people are having real problems to stalk someone because they called you out on your abusive behavior and lies, does nothing but prove just how self-centered and narcissistic you are. Maybe GTFU? 🙄

@Theluggage15 and @pointythings

Thank you. She was being very abusive and telling fibs about a stepmom on another thread. Most of her posts were so abusive they got deleted by MN. She would not listen to facts as people (raising my hand) tried to point them out. The stepmom had come up with a solution before she started with the nastiness and still didn't stop.

Do I get a ribbon or star for having my very first stalker?

Here is the thread (and yes, many posts are calling her out because she would not stop the abuse)
Stepdaughter eating too much fruit | Mumsnet (last pages are where the problem was).

💯 agree. Stepmoms and parents of young adults seem to get railed on frequently!
I'm just happy that the stepmom came up with a good solution to help her DSD expand her snacks. It will also be a bonding time for SM and DSD, which is always a win.

Thank you so much for the kindness! 💖

I can totally empathize with all you say, and mine used to always tell me how supportive he was and how lucky I was! He also had the front to tell me that me taking professional exams, which involved so much study, was akin to a hobby and was the same as him playing golf or spending hours in the gym. I didn't mind him playing golf or going to the gym, but its not comparable! Now, I don't give an eff what he does, the less I see of him the better. It will wear you down in the end

the front to tell me that me taking professional exams, which involved so much study, was akin to a hobby and was the same as him playing golf or spending hours in the gym
Has to be top dog, the star of the show... always has to retain the upper hand. Can't cope with you having any success or being accomplished in any way, has to dismiss and belittle it.
They are so transparent 😁
Congratulations on moving on with your life🥳

Dh still goes to football every other weekend as well as some of the away games so can be out most Saturdays

Sounds like he is extremely energetic to me, OP. Men who cheat sometimes have less time than that. He could fit in at least one side affair in that time. He's clearly not lazy, that's for sure! He might be lazy around the house, but out most Saturdays shows he's not lazing at home. That he has an active social life. Having an affair would be so, so, so easy for him. I wonder if he really truly is going to these games. It's most likely a cover.

@Everythingisfallinagpart81 you need to separate. With the fear you might not get back together but the hope you will. Sooner rather than later as it affecting the children. Otherwise you’ll hurt yourselves and those children to traumatic levels. You currently can’t see the wood for the trees.. neither of you. You for being a mum and not a wife/lover and him for being an ignorant man not knowing how to be better right now. Until he sees it which could be some years and you realise you’re a major part too! It will only get worse(Neither of you intend the situation you’re in) but you are both lost and need to find yourselves independent of each other to miss each other and start making the efforts you once did when you fell in love!

Have you ever considered trading DH in for a higher calibre model. Let hi
m keep all the duvet !

This.

Life is too short; get rid & I wish you a happier future.

@Everythingisfallinagpart81

He is extremely resentful and jealous that you are and will allways be a strong , capable intelligent female,

He knows you could so much better than be with him, !
So he needs to, depend on himself wrecking your cofindence in yourself, so your self esteem,cofindence is on basement floor level,

SO you will stay with him a lot longer in relantship marriage ect . !

Did you tell him about these incidents and he tried to give you alternative solutions?

Your husband actions scream 😱 out loud,
that he is extremely insecure, needy ect

He is also extremely controlling in a gas lightening extremely ways too.

the more you achieve, and stay with him in relationship, the more he needs to ramp up, keep the ante of belitting you and gas lightening, being controlling as , it makes him feel insecure otherwise ,

He needs you ,far more than you need him,

he will allways be like this, @Everythingisfallinagpart81

It's so deep seated embedded in his psyche, probably or could be due to dysfunctional childhood family patterns, that it's his go to way of attempting to handle his insecurities,

he knows this, too,

even if he had therapy , he would probably try to gas light and mimise how his behaviour effects you and your relationship with him

and there is absolutely no gaurentee in long term therapy will have any positive affect on himself and his behaviour, as it would mean, involve positive reflection ect,

If I was you,

Look at getting hell of a lot more good support /advice in all areas of your life,

seriously get out of this situation relationship of yours

It will not get better in any way for you, It will stay the same longer term and only seem to get better, as manipulative attempts for you to comply his unhealthy dysfunctional fucked up thought mindset.!

I speak from bitter, bitter experience unfortunately . !