To think some people sail through life ?

[Cuberubick]

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

Do you mean Richard Branson? Because he just did an interview where he said he thought he was going to lose his whole business during covid and was somewhat stressed at the time!

I think it’s a mindset thing and how you frame events in your life. Everyone has ups and downs, but most people focus on the downs and forget the ups.

Richard Brandson who struggled at school, dropped out of secondary school and felt that as a dyslexic he didn’t fit in?

Yes but Brandon bounced back . Maybe this is the first time in his life he has had a set back . He said it was the only time he had felt low . But as he is approaching the final years of his life he's done ok in life so far I have also seen this play out in day to day life too . For some people life is easy and smooth for some continuously hard like one set back after another .

How do you know the details of his life?

Everyone has ups & downs

It's whether one can bounce back or move onwards

It also helps if you have family, friends & a support network

Some people get stuck in the past

Branson with ADHD and dyslexia? With multiple failures in business and jailed for tax evasion? Whose daughter died?

Yes, that sounds like a smooth and easy life that was sailed through. FFS

He was beaten badly at boarding school for being “thick”.

Certainly some people do have it easier but lots of people have more hidden set backs. Research says people with a positive attitude are more likely to bouncy back from set backs.

i can’t think of anything worse than the death of a child.

I've known lovely people who have had one blow after another , yet vile people who for them life just falls their way . It just puzzles me how life plays out sometimes.

I didn’t know he had a child die. How vets very sad.

Really bad example tbh. By definition you can only bounce back from adversity. If life is completely plain sailing there’s nothing to come back from.

Some people are very fortunate, some are very unfortunate but you’re wrong to thing there’s a single person on the planet who hasn’t had their own struggles.

Probably some people do. Others, you won't know their struggles. I've faced huge adversity at times but rarely speak about it.

I have to say though, I often look at those times of struggle and can see how they helped me become resilient /develop the skills to become a leader. So there was a silver lining.

Doesn't Richard Branson give the opposite meaning to what you think?

He has suffered for large parts of his life but was still successful

Op- I'd ask mn to delete this thread out of rampant shame and embarrassment

I think it's easy to look at someone life and say it was easy. You have zero idea what they are dealing with.

Good luck comes with preparation and people that mastered that when luck strikes they succeed.

I think you have no idea what people are dealing with. Some people don’t advertise their low points.

You just have to try to do what you can to minimise the risk of things which are somewhat in your control and then hope for the best. Some things are completely out of your control but some people don’t do their best to try to control the things they can and then seem surprised when things go wrong.

Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.

Choosing someone as an example of ‘smooth sailing’ through life who has had their child die is… interesting.

This.

Unless of course we are not talking about Branson as the OP keeps referring to Richard Brandon. No idea who he is but maybe he has sailed through life?

I think it’s two fold-

1. luck of the draw as to how much external trauma you experience (death/loss, health, traumatic stuff that’s not in anyone’s control
2. childhood programming - mindset.

If 2 goes well, you tend to cope with type 1 events much better.

If 2 goes badly, you end up with poor mental health or lack of resilience, so you might not cope with type 1 events so well.

Experiencing lots of type 1 events will knock anyone off course though.

I think there’s also a capacity element too - if you live your life with enough rest/play/slack time, whatever your mindset, you’ll cope with type 1 events better as you’ll have the spare capacity to work through them.

Jesus. Rude and defensive.

That fits.

A quick google of Richard Branson would have saved you from using such an inappropriate example.

Of course life is like this! Most people take the middle ground of ups and downs. A minority have one fucking disaster after another, and another minority sail through with very little trouble.

I am unsure what your point is tbh.

Op, I can’t believe you’re ignoring the fact that his daughter died.

Yes I think if you have a good supportive network around you that helps . A problem shared is a problem halved

Isn't he dyslexic and found school v challenging?

I think some people are good at swanning, keeping everything smooth on the surface while pedalling like crazy below the surface. I know I am. I constantly get 'you always cope so well with everything, you're so chilled'... Etc etc.

When in actual fact I take criticism badly, I dwell, I have horrendous health anxiety around the kids and I've had an aversion to vegetables and most fruit since having my daughter that I've no idea how to address or even talk about. I've had a tough childhood, bereavements, fertility trauma and kids with additional health stuff.

But if you only know surface me you'd think, wow, charmed life. Amazing husband, beautiful home, career, wonderful children, friends, social life etc.

You need to realise we all struggle, some struggles are harder, I definitely find life is easier with good income than without! With support than without. My struggles now are much less 'keep body and soul togetehr' than they once were and I'm so thankful for that.

I think everyone has ups and downs OP, I just don't think we see everyone else's. Especially when we are going through stuff ourselves.