Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people sail through life ?

260 replies

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 11:54

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

OP posts:
SunnySaturdayMorning · 05/05/2023 12:18

araiwa · 05/05/2023 12:11

Doesn't Richard Branson give the opposite meaning to what you think?

He has suffered for large parts of his life but was still successful

Op- I'd ask mn to delete this thread out of rampant shame and embarrassment

Exactly this.

Original poster
Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 12:18

Ok so it seems I've made a mistake using RB as an example . Mistake , because This is all this thread is going to be about .

OP posts:
JOD74 · 05/05/2023 12:18

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 12:16

Yes I think if you have a good supportive network around you that helps . A problem shared is a problem halved

You think having a support network ‘halved’ the pain of losing his daughter?

if you want to be taken seriously you need to address the points that have been put to you.

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 12:18

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 12:16

Yes I think if you have a good supportive network around you that helps . A problem shared is a problem halved

That's bollocks though, isn't it? Your child dying isn't 50% better because you have nice friends and family.

You held someone up as an example of an easy life with no trauma in it. It was a very poor example. Nobody has an easy life with no trauma in it.

It's often about attitude. And yours is not a good one

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 12:19

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 12:18

Ok so it seems I've made a mistake using RB as an example . Mistake , because This is all this thread is going to be about .

No. You could have picked any one and it would be the same.

Go on, tell us one person who has had a perfectly easy life with no issues at all.

We'll wait.

2bazookas · 05/05/2023 12:20

Most people who appear to "sail through life" are like swans; all serene on the surface but out of sight they are paddling like hell to keep going.

Bluevelvetsofa · 05/05/2023 12:20

You post a deliberately goady first post, with clearly no idea about the person you’re writing about, (assuming it is Richard Branson and not another person with a similar name), then don’t accept that it’s been pointed out that you’re wrong and then accuse people of bullying.

None of us know what struggles or adversities are faced by people who appear to have no problems on the face of it. Everyone has worries, concerns, upsets, including famous and wealthy folk.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 05/05/2023 12:20

I was going to agree with you in part. I know a few people who have massive, loving, wealthy families, have travelled and ended up in well paid jobs and with kind, loving spouses with well paid jobs, no trouble conceiving or buying houses etc etc.

However...who tf is Richard Brandon?

NoSquirrels · 05/05/2023 12:21

OK, Richard Branson aside, I disagree fundamentally with your premise that some people ‘sail through life’ with no problems. Almost nobody does. Their problems might just look different to what you think.

Granted, some people have terrible things to endure, but that doesn’t mean others don’t have their own issues and setbacks. I honestly don’t think you’ll find anyone alive who hasn’t had any misfortune or had to slings and arrows of life.

Mincedpies · 05/05/2023 12:22

OP I think you’re getting a very hard time here - classic example of the good old MN pile on 🙄

I know exactly what your post is about and so does everyone else but as you’ve noted, all a certain type of poster are going to do is gleefully pick apart your Branson example. Some of them very nastily, I might add. I didn’t know he’d lost a child and I bet many of those being disgusted with you didn’t know themselves until the first poster pointed it out.

I do think that some people appear to sail through life in a very charmed manner but I do also agree that you never really know what’s going on in those very lives that we don’t know about.

Andanotherone01 · 05/05/2023 12:22

My example for this is Lauren Conrad. She is the absolute epitome of a charmed life

happyumwelt · 05/05/2023 12:23

I believe happiness is something like 50% genetic, 10% situational and 40% under our control (through neuroplasticity - you can essentially train that 40% to become happier and more resilient). There is a very interesting book called The How of Happiness that is about the science behind happiness.

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 12:24

Mincedpies · 05/05/2023 12:22

OP I think you’re getting a very hard time here - classic example of the good old MN pile on 🙄

I know exactly what your post is about and so does everyone else but as you’ve noted, all a certain type of poster are going to do is gleefully pick apart your Branson example. Some of them very nastily, I might add. I didn’t know he’d lost a child and I bet many of those being disgusted with you didn’t know themselves until the first poster pointed it out.

I do think that some people appear to sail through life in a very charmed manner but I do also agree that you never really know what’s going on in those very lives that we don’t know about.

Yes, we do know exactly what her post was about. It was about OP thinking she can judge other peoples lives when she knows nothing about them.

Nimbostratus100 · 05/05/2023 12:25

I think the complete opposite, you have to experience the hard times to truly appreciate the good times - I feel sorry for people who have never struggled, becasue I dont think they ever feel truly satisfied and happy

SnarkyBag · 05/05/2023 12:29

Actually Richard Branson is a good example because I think it shows that mind set has a lot to do with it. You’ve perceived him to have sailed through life and are therefore quite dismissive of his set backs as if somehow his successes negate them.

You’re quite rude and defensive in your responses so I suspect not that resilient when faced with set backs and probably have a “why me?” Attitude. I don’t know anyone who’s truelly sailed through life but yes some people have more than their share of misfortune and some find it harder to recover than others. It’s not that difficult to understand really.

UnbeIievabIe · 05/05/2023 12:30

I think your example and your way of thinking is a bit off. A problem shared is not a problem halved. My husbands cancer wasn't halved when he told his parents about it. A friend who lost their house didn't only lose half when they told their support network.

Also, just because people don't broadcast across social media that they are having issues doesn't mean they are not. People might look at us and think we have it all, blissfully unaware of my husbands battle because we are private people.

Some people genuinely are handed a shitty stick in life, some are not. Some are able to work through theirs and come out the other side, some are not. Some choose not to, and remain a victim of their circumstances and choose to complain about it instead of work through it.

Sissynova · 05/05/2023 12:31

Cuberubick · 05/05/2023 12:18

Ok so it seems I've made a mistake using RB as an example . Mistake , because This is all this thread is going to be about .

But that is the whole point! It is very telling that you've picked someone like that as your example of this. You've clearly just based it on the idea that he has money and therefore couldn't possibly have any hardships in life or have faced struggles.

The reality is everyone has struggles, some more than other sure and its not only 'good' people who have bad things happen to them but you can't look at someone and know how much they have gone through.

MathsNervous · 05/05/2023 12:32

Yep. MIL no health problems, in her mind 70s and just breezes through life. I have health problems from 20s onwards. It's shit. But that's life🤷

Pinkdelight3 · 05/05/2023 12:32

Seems like an empathy failure on your part OP. Everyone has ups and downs. They may handle it different and have different tools at their disposal to deal with things, but stress-wise, there's there same amount of air in the balloon in most people's lives, it's just squeezed in different places.

BansheeofInisherin · 05/05/2023 12:32

People's struggles are often invisible. On the surface, my sister has a great life, well off, loving husband, beautiful home etc etc. Actually one of her DC is seriously ill. She doesn't talk about it, so no one knows.

Kittekats · 05/05/2023 12:32

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 05/05/2023 12:20

I was going to agree with you in part. I know a few people who have massive, loving, wealthy families, have travelled and ended up in well paid jobs and with kind, loving spouses with well paid jobs, no trouble conceiving or buying houses etc etc.

However...who tf is Richard Brandon?

I would appear on the outside as one of the people you describe here. Comfortably off, great marriage, nice house, travel a lot, good jobs etc. And generally we are very happy but we have had some real struggles, not in our relationship, but it other very serious matters that no-one would ever know about. We are just very private about our lives in general and particularly about personal things. To be fair I don’t post on social media about my life, either good or bad but people tend to see the outside view.

i liked the analogy above, like swans serene on the surface but peddling furiously underneath. A couple of years ago DH and I were in a really bad place with (non relationship) serious shit going on but we stuck together, consoled/counselled/comforted each other and got through it. I really don’t think anybody around us would have had a clue but we spent 18months in a dark place.

No one knows what is truly going on in others lives.

Puzzledanddissatisfied · 05/05/2023 12:33

Richard Branson obviously doesn’t have it that easy considering very few people can apparently spell his name.

Smillsss · 05/05/2023 12:33

If you looked at my instagram page you’d think I had a charmed easy life - perfect husband and beautiful child. Big house and supportive family. I’ve been drowning in anxiety and depression for 5 years to the point where I can’t function for months at a time. But I hide this very well from everyone outside my immediate family. So YABU

shammalammadingdong · 05/05/2023 12:33

MathsNervous · 05/05/2023 12:32

Yep. MIL no health problems, in her mind 70s and just breezes through life. I have health problems from 20s onwards. It's shit. But that's life🤷

I doubt you know about the details of her life.

Tigofigo · 05/05/2023 12:34

I have a friend:

From wealthy family stock
Gorgeous house with plenty of money to spend on it
No health issues including mental health
Two bright, good looking, easy going children who go to a fab private school
High powered but low stress, v well paid and prestigious job
Nice husband who is v successful

Literally seems to sail through life.

Most people I know however don't. They've had fertility issues, children with SEN, money issues, relationship problems, illness etc.