To think some people sail through life ?

[Cuberubick]

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

Based on what though? A scripted reality show and a glossy business instagram?

Some people are very lucky. Good looking and healthy. Fortunate to find a good group of friends. Born wealthy or have lucky opportunities to achieve success. No major setbacks. While others are ugly, or poor, or lonely, or have health problems, or suffer abuse. The former doesn’t fully insulate you from the ups and downs of life but you are certainly less stressed, have more support and fewer worries.

How do you know she does not have health issues, just to take an example? have certain health issues which I have told no one. Not a soul. And how do you know her husband is nice? My DH is very nice in general, but we have definitely had our ups and downs.
People generally have compassion fatigue these days, so I keep my problems to myself.

Not everyone sails through life, some people lurch from crisis to crisis through bad planning and bad decision making, but some people just bloody love a drama!
Other people still have bad things happen, but through resilience
and coping methods they get on with on and not make a bloody drama out of everything.

I'd rather have financial struggles, ups and downs, stress, relationship problems, personal health issues etc etc over losing a child any day of the week.

If I could have the choice of Richard Branson's lifestyle and experienced the death of a child vs being poor, suffering with personal health issues and not experienced the loss of my own child, I'd choose the latter every time

You are seeing everyone else's lives through rose tinted glasses. Most do not overshare personal traumas, I look like I've sailed through life I'm sure. The reality is I've had more drama in my life than Eastenders.

Most people don’t over share so you will never know what’s going on underneath and the effort it takes to make things look ‘normal’

If I could have the choice of Richard Branson's lifestyle and experienced the death of a child vs being poor, suffering with personal health issues and not experienced the loss of my own child, I'd choose the latter every time
The point is, if two people experience the loss of a child, the wealthy person is going to be the one who has time to grieve, access to therapy, holidays to relax, etc. While a poor person suffering the exact same bereavement would have none of that and would have to be back at work within a couple of weeks to pay the bills. Which is to say, when all other things are equal the rich/healthy/beautiful people always come off best.

I don’t think people are “lucky” lots that have wealth, many have worked very hard for it. Reminds me of a quote, the harder I work the luckier I get! Wealthy people face usual family life struggles. Yes, not intense financial pressures, but most people that have made their own money have faced difficult times too. Wealth doesn’t insulate from other misfortunes in life. You are looking from the outside and assume that everything is rosy, outsiders could well think your life is too. Honestly, not worth comparison, just make your life the happiest it can be.

Richard Branson who is regularly used as an example of recovering from disaster after going bankrupt? The one with several learning disabilities?

I think the Richard Branson example shows that some people confuse wealth and outward glamour for breezing through life without a care.

I can't imagine thinking anyone who has lost a child has led a charmed life just because they have had wealth and are good at publicity.

yes, when your child dies, youre still winning because you can go on holiday.

FFS.

I'm not even 40 and have 2 chronic illnesses, estranged from half my family, never met anyone special and unlikely to now, no kids, screwed over and used by so called friends, made redundant etc.
Yet there are others who sail through. I know a horrible person who has a crazy amount of money, gets dumped but easily finds someone new, works from home so no childcare costs , always on holidays, lots of friends, it's sickening really.

I have a beautiful, wealthy friend with three gorgeous children, a very handsome and charming husband who earns £300k a year allowing her to spend her days baking and pottering around the garden of their large, amazing house.

Very few people know her husband actually has terminal cancer

We should all be grateful for what we've got, as we can't possibly know what everyone else is dealing with.

I think everyone suffers. Even the wealthiest people have plenty of worries, perhaps even more than people with less.

I do agree that some people have easier lives than others, and I believe that’s due to karma. It’s fascinating to study the subject beyond the usual ‘what goes around comes around’ idea. For me it explains so many unexplained things. Why bad things happen to good people and vice versa, why we get instant likes/dislikes to people and things, why babies are born with very specific personality traits etc. It’s also a framework to remove feelings of victimhood and passivity, by understanding our experiences all coming from our own past actions, and liberating us to choose a happier future based on current positive actions and how we respond to what is appearing for us moment to moment.

People think this about me. Only I've been trapped in a 6-year long divorce trying to get out of an abusive marriage, that nobody sees either.

I do however have a friend who is sailing through life. She now works at a job she likes but chooses to after spending a few years writing a book that she's decided not to finish. Her parents are millionaires, her husband has a very well paying job that means she doesn't need to work and they can do a lot of international travel every holiday. She has a big group of good female friends (I'm separate to that group - they all met when their kids were babies/toddlers). Her parents are lovely, can get annoying on a 6-week visit, but are generally lovely.

Attitude is hugely important and resilience to bounce back after set backs. You need to avoid falling into the "Why Me?" rabbit hole. Everyone has set backs, it's how you deal with them that matters. People need to learn to concentrate on the better things in life, what makes them happy rather than obsessing about what makes them sad. And they also need to learn the difference between things within their control and things they have no control over, and concentrate their minds and efforts on the former.

My OH has incurable cancer - literally no one knows except me and hospital staff, we've not even told our son or his mother nor sister. He doesn't want a "pity party". People from outside looking into us won't see the pain, heartbreak, etc that it's causing us and will think we're living a wonderful life.

Lauren Conrad is 37 yes old, this may be the other thing, some people have great childhoods, wealth, fame, over the course of our lives if we live long enough we all encounter loss, death, stress etc. Maybe she's had a good run, maybe she's private on the negatives for her image.

Actually also there are limits to her life in place because of her fame, I suspect also she struggled at school reading her Wikipedia page.

Also some things are huge struggles for 1 person and meh for another. She may not care she struggled at school or maybe it was an awful time for her. We don't know.

I think the problem op and the person slating Lauren Conrad (who I'd never heard of before and had to Google) is jealousy. Honestly comparison is the thief of joy. Get through your struggles and enjoy your happinesses and other than those moments we all get where life seems very unfair at times realise it's just how it is.

With the exception of things effecting large groups and changeabout by political policies and social change. Those things yous Gould be aware of of and care about for the greater good I think.

People need to stop with this “rich people have worked hard for it” nonsense. Not all of them did. Those who did, were given the lucky entry level opportunities to do so, which were denied to others. And many people work incredibly hard but aren’t lucky enough to get rich from it. Wealth and hard work are not related.

RB is, in addition to all the things other posters have mentioned, a self made man who took risks other people would not have taken and who worked harder than many people are prepared to work.

Also, many people never show weakness in public. I can think of many celebs who have suffered illness, heartbreak, money problems etc in silence - the show must go on. I am sure some are resilient and some never tell of their suffering.

Envy and pride are two of the deadly sins. Be glad of what you have and don’t wish badly on those who appear to have it better.

That's literally not the comparison that was made

It’s good that you have recognised Richard Branson is not an apt illustration of your point.

As to the general principle that you are trying to get across; I do not disagree that some people have an easier time of things than others. I would observe the following:

(1). You do not really know what is going on in a persons life. They may well have had struggles. Huge ones, they choose to keep private.

(2). It’s not really surprising (as you suggest it is) that the lived experience of some people is very different to other people. I am not sure from your posts whether you are looking at the differences between people in the U.K, or globally. If the latter, then I am not clear how you factor in the situation of millions of people in low income countries; some at threat of starvation and persecution.

(3). Notwithstanding the inevitable differences of lived experiences between people, there is more, much more, that should be done to diversify the spread of wealth, not only financial wealth, but also wealth of opportunity. There is a lack of political will, globally in my view, to do that. Largely because capitalism reigns. Rather than focus on individuals who seem to have a better go of things (which comes across as a bit envious and unpleasant) my own view is we would be better focussing on much needed political change. Starting at grass roots level; the local elections yesterday being as decent a starting point as any.

Sorry, but I think Karma is absolute bullshit.

Look at Olivia Newton John - literally everyone who has come across her said that she was a beautiful person inside and out, very caring, compassionate, loved animals, humble, etc. Yet she drew the short straw in life with multiple miscarriages, serious health problems when pregnant, cancer in her early 40s (diagnosed the same day she was told her father had died), a failed business, legal disputes with recording companies trying to rip her off, failed relationships, a partner disappearing (presumably drowned) on a fishing trip, Goddaughter dying of cancer aged around 4 years old, and ultimately her husband running off with her nanny. There's no way she did anything (Karma) to cause all that grief and anguish. It's nothing but random bad luck.

You don't knowif they have sailed through. I mean, some of your difficulties are going to be of your own making, some of their "sailing" is going to be of their own making.

If your attitude is that all these bad things have happened to you and its unfair and none of it was on you, and that all of their good things have just happened and its unfair etc etc....you're living in perpetual envy and bitterness and creating more difficulties for yourself.
You don't know what troubles people have had. You might see someone with a big house and money, you don't know what happens in there or what they've dealt with before then.

I think some of it is the life you're born into, some of it is luck, some of it is hard work and some of it, a lot of it is attitude. It's about finding your own contentment and not being eaten up by comparisons and jealously. It's about bouncing back and making the most of things and getting on with it.

You could always suggest some different people.