To think some people sail through life ?

[Cuberubick]

Please don't think that this comes from a place of envy . It's something that puzzles me . The vast majority of us me included have ups and downs and life is not always fair.

But it strikes me that some people live truly wonderful lives, with no great trauma , no health issues or money woes , great kids etc. Think Richard Brandon for example . I'm not knocking him just using him as an example .

Then there are others who seems to go from one crisis to the next , and have tragedy befall them .

Like I have said for the vast majority of us it's bitter sweet .

Is it a case of mindset ? what you think is what you get ? Who knows .

Who? Who loves a long life and doesn't suffer?

Some people cert have easier lives than others. That’s down to a range of things like childhood experiences, genetics, poverty/wealth, coping mechanisms, personality, privilege and dumb luck. It’s cliche but you can only really know your own life and play what you are dealt, comparing with others is not healthy and can lead you do making wrong assumptions - I don’t even know that much about Richard Branson, but merely the fact of a death of an infant and massive fire at one of his island properties suggests he has had his fair share of setbacks, that’s life. Granted, he’s had more than his fair share of money - that’s capitalism.

Who? Who loves a long life and doesn't suffer?

I don't think it is that rare, tbh.

I do think those who have had a lucky life have to try not to assume it is that way for everyone else.

What is it you think makes someone like Richard Branson lucky? His wealth? His own private island?

'Suffer' is not the same as 'trauma'.

But if you have decent health, enough money, your children are well, your parents live to a good age - where is the 'trauma'?

Everyone suffers bereavements and disappointments, of course.

Yes it’s true, it’s not possible to provide observable evidence of past lives. As I said in a previous post, there are many matters unexplained by modern science which in my view, karma as a natural law explains very well, I think very interesting to discuss but I know not for everyone.

No it wasn’t. It was about the very obvious point that when there are seven billion people on the planet, there will be huge divergence of life experiences and some of them will have very easy lives. I find it remarkable that people can claim this is not the case.

Life experiences are not distributed equally to make life fair. With seven billion people, there will be remarkable variation.

The only way to can claim ‘we all have our ups and downs’ is if you equate the experience of say, the death of a young child, to that time when Mary from year 4 snogged that boy you fancied at Emma’s party.

Some people are very resilient so able to bounce back from difficult times, such as a divorce, job loss and health problems, but they still have the bad times just like everyone else.

You don't think it's traumatic losing your parent whatever your age? My mil suffers as much for losing her dad In his 70s as I do losing my mum in her 50s. She was possibly more effected losing her mum who was almost 90.

You can cateogorise and quantify different trauma etc but also op didn't say trauma. She said some people sail through life. I suspect what she's seeing is a snapshot of people's lives because for most people the level to which they struggle is transient.

I agree with others who say it's about

1. Prepardness
2. Positive attitute
3. Not dwelling on the past (I know several people still bitter about their divorces 10 years on)

Richard Branson himself said "I suppose the secret to bouncing back is not only to be unafraid of failures but to use them as motivational and learning tools... There's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you don't make the same ones over and over again."

Even the american president has not sailed though life. His first wife and one year old daughter were killed in a car crash, leaving him to raise his two your sons who survived the crash and then his other son died aged 46 in 2015. No -one sails through life.

Looking in from the outside you can't see all the troubles they may have. Money and assets are not everything.

No, that would be saying all ups and downs are equal.

What people are actually saying is well all suffer to lesser or greater extents across our entire lives.

Which is what op was suggesting wasn't the case, some people have it all and no problems ever seemed to be her premise.

Realistically some people have much easier lives than others. Some of us grow up in abusive or chaotic families in poverty and don’t have access to good opportunities. Others grow up in loving and secure families and can access better opportunities. Some are born with disabilities that limit their quality of life while others are healthy and strong all their lives. But the that’s just life. You need to take your lot and make the best you can of it.

OP. try counting your blessings instead of perceiving other peoples ‘easyride’ You are far luckier than you imagine.

It's also luck.

I'm someone who bounces back, I've no idea how at times but some of it is definitely luck because I assure you I wallow plenty and am often shocked at what I cope with. Not because I'm doing anything to cope.

Richard Branson definitely didn’t have an easy start.

Me and my sister have a joke that she’s Homer Simpson and I’m Frank Grimes (will only make sense if you watch the simpsons).

Things seem to fall into her lap whilst things are much harder for me.

E.g. I became homeless and spent years in temporary accommodation with my DD. She chose to move and within a couple of days a beautiful home in an amazing area came up for really cheap rent and she got it straight away.

When I moved home I had little money and I had no sofa, cooker, fridge and slept on a mattress on the floor for years whilst I was getting bits every couple of months.
My sister was approached by a neighbour and was asked if she wanted all of their furniture and appliances for free as they were moving abroad and didn’t want the hassle of selling them.

If I want something eg a car it would take me a long time to find one in my price range and it’ll end up being faulty and gusting more money whilst my sister will have one handed to her.

We joke about it but of course sometimes I do feel a bit resentful how much she just floats through life.

However, I am much more resilient than her.
I appreciate the smaller things in life and I’m grateful that me and my DC have good health etc whereas my sister will struggle with the small things eg costa coffee stopped selling a certain drink and she was distraught for at least a week.
I worry how she would cope if her DH ever left.

So yes some people definitely sail through life but it’s not necessarily a good thing.
Most self made millionaires are there because of traumatic upbringings.

Karma is actually quite a harmful belief that leads to stigmatization of, say, people with disabilities due to the belief that must have done something terrible in a previous life.

Even the american president has not sailed though life. His first wife and one year old daughter were killed in a car crash, leaving him to raise his two your sons who survived the crash and then his other son died aged 46 in 2015. No -one sails through life.

I never knew this that’s so sad!

I think it’s mindset. Even in my darkest days I now see that there are opportunities there, to learn and to change. Light always comes from darkness.

I spent many years of my life in a woe is me mindset, I prob have more trauma to deal with now but have a much better attitude to it. Objectively snd sometimes I feel my life tumbles from one crisis to another but you have to focus on the positives as the active force in the situation whilst at the same time recognising any pain but not carrying it with you.

everyone has difficulties but that is life.

As someone said earlier ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. I can only live my life and the ups and downs I have been dealt. How does someone else’s ups and downs affect me?

I look ‘privileged’ now but come from a very poor background, lived with a sister with a chronic illness who died in her teens and watched my mum have a breakdown and my parents’ marriage crumble as a result. But no one knows because it hurts too much to talk about. So when people say ‘it’s all right for you…’, I just smile wryly.

I am happy for those who have never experienced trauma and sad for those who have. Why wouldn’t I be? How can it help me to resent them? And life is much more complex than it appears on the surface.

If you read the discussion thread we are in, the word 'trauma' is used and then you used 'suffer'.

I do not consider these the same thing.

If you feel traumatised by the death of your parents then obviously I respect that but you can't extrapolate from your own trauma to everyone else, I don't feel that way.

everyone has difficulties but that is life But the difficulties vary hugely.

I think it's mindset and attitude to life. I'm a worrier with a tendency to mild anxiety. I always thought I had it worse than others but as I've got older I've realised it's more down to how I view things that happen and how I let them get me down whereas others like my dh and younger brother just seem to have a happier outlook and although they've had similar crap to me you'd never know and assume they'd a great easy life.

In saying that I do think there are people that have incredibly difficult lives. I work in social work and some of the people I work it I genuinely don't know how they're still going because I know I would have given up long ago.

I completely agree. Absolutely this. I too and appalled at the simplistic and shaming sentiments so often expressed on these threads.

I am so sorry life has been like that for you. I hope you can escape your abusive relationship