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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

House Guests

213 replies

TheSlowRush · 05/05/2023 07:33

Coming this weekend.

Bringing their dog, didn’t ask just told me and I have cats (which they are well aware of) who hate dogs who will basically be exiled for the weekend,

They don’t have a crate.

AIBU to think you ask if it’s ok you don’t just assume.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 05/05/2023 07:35

I’d be saying no tbh. Why didn’t you?

CheshireCats · 05/05/2023 07:35

Well say no then!!

ChiefPearlClutcher · 05/05/2023 07:36

Just say no.

snitzelvoncrumb · 05/05/2023 07:36

Assuming you have a yard enforce the dogs being outside until bed time.

ChaToilLeam · 05/05/2023 07:36

Tell them to turn round and go back. It’s NOT okay to do this without checking.

Greeneyedminx · 05/05/2023 07:37

Just say you are looking forward to seeing them but can’t accommodate their dog due to having cats in your home.
Send them a list of nearest kennels.
Most people would not be that rude or thoughtless to put you in the position of having to state the obvious, that their dog is not welcome.

Overthebow · 05/05/2023 07:38

Say no! You can’t have the dog due to the cats anyway.

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 07:38

We once had some friends who just turned up with a dog. DH was very blunt and just said "you can't bring your dog in the house".

It was just for an evening meal so they left the dog in the car.

Just tell them that you have cats and they can't bring the dog.

Mincedpies · 05/05/2023 07:39

Ok, so they’ve just announced this without worrying about whether it annoys you or not.

So you tell them that they can’t bring the dog, and don’t worry about whether it annoys them or not.

I’m a huge dog fan - I have several of my own so my life does pretty much revolve around them, but I have never assumed I can take them anywhere and everywhere. I will ask if I deem it appropriate but am happy with no - not everyone is a fan (cat or human 😀)

EggInANest · 05/05/2023 07:39

Cats or not, it’s not ok to presume you can take dogs to other people’s homes.

TiredOfCleaning · 05/05/2023 07:40

I am guessing that these guests are family members or else some people you feel reluctant to refuse.

I'd go batshit tbh. (Although after 20 years of being taken advantage of due to living in a tourist location and having all and sundry invite themselves my tolerance is now LOW)

SallyWD · 05/05/2023 07:41

I don't know many people with dogs and we've never had dogs in the house. I think my cat would be absolutely terrified and run away (he runs away when threatened). Two days ago a cat was killed by a dog in my neighbourhood! My friend has two 5 month old puppies and asked if she could stay with them. I had to say no. I felt bad but my cat has to be safe and without fear in his own house.

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 07:41

It's disappointing that 12% of voters think it is OK to assume that it is OK to take a dog to someone else's house without asking first.

Some people have no manners.

PinkCast · 05/05/2023 07:42

At the risk of repeating everyone else, why didn't you just say No?

CordyLines · 05/05/2023 07:47

Are they doing this deliberately to annoy you, and have they form for this level of entitlement/lack of self awareness? Sounds like it.

Whose relatives are they, yours or parters? Back each other up and refuse. Doesn't have to be said in a rude way just firmly and politely. Awful presumption on their part. You have my sympathy.

Azealeasinbloom · 05/05/2023 07:47

Are these people in-laws? If so, let your partner tell them. If not, then as others have said, just say no - that doesn’t work.

I have dogs, I don’t always let people bring their dogs to my home, no way would I impose dogs on a cat home.

Bimbom · 05/05/2023 07:50

I wouldn't allow a dog in my house under any circumstances. They'd be told not to bring it. If anybody turned up at the door with a dog they'd be turned away.

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 07:52

Have you said "no dog" to them yet @TheSlowRush?

SundaeLove · 05/05/2023 07:53

RampantIvy · 05/05/2023 07:41

It's disappointing that 12% of voters think it is OK to assume that it is OK to take a dog to someone else's house without asking first.

Some people have no manners.

This.

greencardigangirl · 05/05/2023 07:54

Just say no

blahblahblah1654 · 05/05/2023 07:55

Definitely say no. Cheek of them not to ask.

Wonnle · 05/05/2023 07:56

Just say that they are welcome to stay minus the dog , if they don't like that then hard luck

WimpoleHat · 05/05/2023 07:57

Say no! We had that with some friends - “can we pop round?”. Yes. “We’ve got the dogs with us”. No. Totally out of order to assume.

Original poster
TheSlowRush · 05/05/2023 07:58

I have asked about a crate and said the cats aren’t dog friendly, they kind of told me, they didn’t ask and I don’t have a partner.

OP posts:
Dontjudgeme101 · 05/05/2023 07:58

Wonnle · 05/05/2023 07:56

Just say that they are welcome to stay minus the dog , if they don't like that then hard luck

This.