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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get the ick with a man I have loved since I was 16. I’m 49

219 replies

Kearsie · 29/04/2023 20:15

I went out with a guy when I was 16 and he was 23. Loved him, like actually adored him.
I got divorced 3 years ago and looked him up on Facebook. He was also divorced so we got chatting. Everything was great and we got on like a house on fire. Been out for a few drinks, slept together, it’s amazing.
Tonight we went to Tesco. I was at the checkout and he wanted to go back for milk. I stood there and waited, and then heard this god awful squeaking noise. Literally the whole shop
turned round to him doing a toe jabby run, squeaking his trainers down the aisle. I was beside myself with embarrassment.
The attraction has literally disappeared after 30 years. I’m so sad :(

OP posts:
OldFan · 30/04/2023 01:01

That you had this "the one that got away" feeling about him and now feel like you have had a second chance with him. But the reality of him, flawed, annoying at times, not perfect and not a mind reader (as he is in your fantasy) isnt what you hoped for.

I would think so too but it depends how often OP gets these ick moments about him. We all probably do about any partner/lover sometimes.

Firecarrier · 30/04/2023 01:02

You are an odd one aren't you? Oh well, good luck...

RelentlessMother · 30/04/2023 01:07

This reply has been deleted

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QueefQueen80s · 30/04/2023 01:14

OldFan · 30/04/2023 00:57

When I was 17 I adored someone of 25. He was one of the great loves/crushes of my life and it seemed to be mutual.

It's nothing compared to the age differences I've had in relationships a couple of years later.

Gross.

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 30/04/2023 01:19

@Dontsayyouloveme I'm finding the way you clarified balls ('of feet') absolutely hysterical 😭 I'm now imagining him forcing his actual balls against the floor!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2023 01:21

OldFan · 30/04/2023 01:01

That you had this "the one that got away" feeling about him and now feel like you have had a second chance with him. But the reality of him, flawed, annoying at times, not perfect and not a mind reader (as he is in your fantasy) isnt what you hoped for.

I would think so too but it depends how often OP gets these ick moments about him. We all probably do about any partner/lover sometimes.

Oh I agree, of course we do. But we say "Stop being a dickhead" (both ways, you to them, them to you) and we realise that what was funny in our heads wasnt actually that funny IRL.

We dont suddenly decide that after X many years together "You made your trainers squeak on purpose so now I am leaving you" do we?

THat leads me to think that Mr Perfect showing himself to be just as humanly stupid as the rest of us didnt fit the OP's fantasy, and that it was the fantasy she has "been in love with since [she was] 16".

BSB30 · 30/04/2023 01:22

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 29/04/2023 20:34

Sorry to laugh also but have a mental image of a grown man running down the aisle on his toes all happy like an excited puppy to see you. I got the ick before from someone was seeing because he cut his moustache too far above his lip so was like a noticeable space between top lip and moustache. Turned me right off and he also had a weird walk and then he reminded me of a politician here and that was that. Keep us posted.

I started giggling at toe jabby run but the short moustache finished me off 😂🤣

BSB30 · 30/04/2023 01:26

IcakethereforeIam · 29/04/2023 22:16

Like this?

But not a duck, I'm assuming, and with milk.

I'm sure I saw a comedian recommending wearing crocs when having sex...for traction

Oh my goodness 😂😂🤣🤣

QueenBitch666 · 30/04/2023 02:39

Toe jabby run 😳 🤣🤣🤣🤣

QueenBitch666 · 30/04/2023 02:45

IcakethereforeIam · 29/04/2023 22:16

Like this?

But not a duck, I'm assuming, and with milk.

I'm sure I saw a comedian recommending wearing crocs when having sex...for traction

I'm helpless 🤣🤣🤣🤣

JMSA · 30/04/2023 02:54

Carsarelife · 29/04/2023 21:30

I'm literally crying here at the wording

Really?

DontMeanToBeWeird · 30/04/2023 03:28

I get the ick thinking about a 23 yr old dating a 16 yr old! Maybe your subconscious does too?

Ladybug14 · 30/04/2023 03:43

DontMeanToBeWeird · 30/04/2023 03:28

I get the ick thinking about a 23 yr old dating a 16 yr old! Maybe your subconscious does too?

This. 🤮

Definitely major ick for that

If the weird running and squeaking added to that ^ ick, just dump him

AxolotlOnions · 30/04/2023 04:07

Throwncrumbs · 30/04/2023 00:01

It’s over 30 years ago ffs!

Show quote history

I don't see how the passing of 30 years makes it any less ick, it shows that at 23 he was pretty immature and morally iffy and the toe-running thing shows not much has changed on the maturity front!

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 30/04/2023 04:20

Is a toe jabby run something a 7 year old would do?

Kitkatcatflap · 30/04/2023 04:23

Toe Jabby Run? I think I backed that horse in the Grand National

MyEyesAreBleeding · 30/04/2023 05:07

LouBaloo · 29/04/2023 23:36

Go to Asda too, some folk do the T-Rex in there apparently.

For those that don’t know about the T-Rex there was a thread a few years ago about someone’s partner standing like a T-Rex, I’ve tried to find it but can’t. It totally reminded me of this thread.

Show quote history

I know the thread. I did a quick Google and found a mumsnet thread stating it was deleted due to being a zombie thread.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4457421-T-Rex-in-Asda-thread-deleted?reply=114351157

HamptonCaught · 30/04/2023 06:26

Newname2323 · 29/04/2023 20:35

Well the first ick for me would be that he fancied you as a 23 year old whilst you was 16. You have now been 23 before, could you imagine fancying a 16 year old, legal or not?

Came to say this. That should be ick factor 1.

Somanysocks · 30/04/2023 06:52

Oh and 30 years ago was 1973...FYI.....

Yes, @PyongyangKipperbang I do believe you're correct.

YouJustDoYou · 30/04/2023 07:01

Firecarrier · 30/04/2023 01:02

You are an odd one aren't you? Oh well, good luck...

And you're not a nice person. Oh well, good luck with that...

Speedweed · 30/04/2023 07:28

By toe jabby run, I'm picturing a grown man running on his toes like a chicken or other awkward flightless bird, whilst his trainers squeak on the floor.

But op, he was so keen to get back to you, what choice BUT to do his squeaky chicken run!

This thread has really made me laugh.

Original poster
Kearsie · 30/04/2023 07:39

IcakethereforeIam · 29/04/2023 22:16

Like this?

But not a duck, I'm assuming, and with milk.

I'm sure I saw a comedian recommending wearing crocs when having sex...for traction

this is EXACTLY what he did, but yes not a duck and there was a 2 pint bottle of milk in his hand.
i was struggling how to describe it but this is the toe jabby run. Thank you!!
I’m off home soon (pre arranged). Will update shortly.

OP posts:
Backtoblack1 · 30/04/2023 07:43

🤣🤣🤣

JaffaCake70 · 30/04/2023 07:43

Nah, whether you realised or not, you were going off him before this.

This is just the incident that made you realise it.

JaffaCake70 · 30/04/2023 07:45

Somanysocks · 30/04/2023 06:52

Oh and 30 years ago was 1973...FYI.....

Yes, @PyongyangKipperbang I do believe you're correct.

😂