Page 6 | To get the ick with a man I have loved since I was 16. I’m 49

Kearsie · 2023-04-29T19:15:41+00:00

I went out with a guy when I was 16 and he was 23. Loved him, like actually adored him. I got divorced 3 years ago and looked him up on Facebook. He was also divorced so we got chatting. Everything was great and we got on like a house on fire. Been out for a few drinks, slept together, it’s amazing. Tonight we went to Tesco. I was at the checkout and he wanted to go back for milk. I stood there and waited, and then heard this god awful squeaking noise. Literally the whole shop turned round to him doing a toe jabby run, squeaking his trainers down the aisle. I was beside myself with embarrassment. The attraction has literally disappeared after 30 years. I’m so sad :(

advice222 · 29/04/2023 23:27

wispatwirl · 29/04/2023 23:23

Oh don't be so ridiculous.

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Why is it ridiculous? That’s exactly what would happen on MN. OP didn’t say it was lighthearted, she actually said she was so sad about it and has since updated that she’s going to avoid sex with him.

TooooBusy · 29/04/2023 23:29

wispatwirl · 29/04/2023 23:23

Are you always so horrible?

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I suspect so given replies so far.

Onegingerhead · 29/04/2023 23:30

Now I read this I want DH to mimic the famous run.
Shopping in Tesco tomorrow..

RelentlessMother · 29/04/2023 23:32

@wispatwirl oooh sensitive….

Strawberrydelight78 · 29/04/2023 23:33

I wouldn't let this one incident put you off.🤣🤣🤣

LouBaloo · 29/04/2023 23:36

Onegingerhead · 29/04/2023 23:30

Now I read this I want DH to mimic the famous run.
Shopping in Tesco tomorrow..

Go to Asda too, some folk do the T-Rex in there apparently.

For those that don’t know about the T-Rex there was a thread a few years ago about someone’s partner standing like a T-Rex, I’ve tried to find it but can’t. It totally reminded me of this thread.

RenoDakota · 29/04/2023 23:41

This has reminded me of my favourite ick ever mentioned on here.
The poster said that her
date came clip-clopping down the road towards her like a horse. Still chuckle about that one now.

willWillSmithsmith · 29/04/2023 23:43

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Dear oh dear what is wrong with you?

Titchyfeep · 29/04/2023 23:48

The only ick here is a 24 year old dating a 16 year old!

RelentlessMother · 29/04/2023 23:50

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LouBaloo · 29/04/2023 23:51

willWillSmithsmith · 29/04/2023 23:43

Dear oh dear what is wrong with you?

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It’s honestly ok. They clearly have something going on to answer my post as they have. I feel quite sorry for them and I apologise for my reply to them earlier, it wasn’t very nice and I should have known better than to rise to them.

RelentlessMother · 29/04/2023 23:52

@Titchyfeep and that’s the only thing that matter in this thread and that’s why I said “old men give me the ick”

not all men. But ALWAYS A MAN.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/04/2023 23:53

Well there are two ways to deal with this.

One is to say to him "You know that stupid running thing you did in Tesco that made your trainers squeak? Do that again and you will never have sex with me again". If you have a half decent relationship you should be able to say that in a semi-joking-but-I-mean-it-really way. With DP, he has these trackies that I LOATHE, I mean I really cannot stand them. I said that if he met me out and about it in them again then I would set fire to them. He knows that I take great pride in my appearance (too many years being told I look like shit and am ugly etc) and he looks like a total scruff wearing them, so he doesnt wear them with me outside of the house. If he told me that he would wear them anyway, that is his right but it would make me find him less attractive. There are things I do that annoy the shit out of him and he has said similar to me, and out of respect of his feelings, I dont do them. Its about finding a way of meeting in the middle and compromising.

The other is to say "You did one thing I dont like so now I dont want to be with you at all". Which is frankly what a 16 year old would do.

If everything else is so good, surely having a conversation about it is worth it?

RelentlessMother · 29/04/2023 23:53

@LouBaloo I forgive you.

Throwncrumbs · 30/04/2023 00:01

AxolotlOnions · 29/04/2023 21:37

My thought too! 16 year olds are children. Legally and mentally.

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It’s over 30 years ago ffs!

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2023 00:13

30 years ago my 17 year old cousin got married to her 23 year old fiance. I mean.....yes it was a disaster and wasnt all that common, but it wasnt that unusual either. There were raised eyebrows but no one considered the age gap to be particularly outrageous. Her (and my) generations parents generally got married a lot earlier than my generation did, and we generally got married earlier than following generations (I am 49, same as OP). For example my parents where 19 and 20 when they got married and had 2 kids by the time they were 23.

So while, yes with modern eyes 16 and 23 seems appalling, back then it wouldnt have been so bad. Whether that is right or wrong is up for debate, but there would not have been the out right horror at the idea that there is now, as shown on this thread.

Oh and 30 years ago was 1973...FYI.....

SorePaw · 30/04/2023 00:17

MattTebbuttsDenimShirt · 29/04/2023 22:19

🤣🤣🤣 I have a pair of trainers that squeak. My daughter apparently "dies inside"
Yeah well, you can't get ick with Mum who's buying your food no matter how squeaky 🤣

He needs another chance after all these years. It's not he came back farting every step!

@MattTebbuttsDenimShirt

but it's not squeaky trainers! It's a move mostly used by 7 year old boys. It's a deliberate way to move to make your trainers squeak on hard (shiney))floors.

but sort your trainers out & stop embarrassing you poor daughter!!

CuriousMoo · 30/04/2023 00:43

Why do some women get the ick about stuff like this, yet others have the strongest stomach for and even still sleep with men who are misogynistic, lie, cheat, stink, and can't even make them come?

The straights are not ok 😆

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2023 00:49

Been musing......

I am a little confused with the "I have loved since I was 16..." thing.

I assumed when I opened the thread that you had been together all of the intervening years and its only now, 30 odd years later, that you have developed an ick.

But you actually havent been together, and you have been married in between, presumably to a man that, atleast when you married him, you loved? So I wonder if there is more to this. That you had this "the one that got away" feeling about him and now feel like you have had a second chance with him. But the reality of him, flawed, annoying at times, not perfect and not a mind reader (as he is in your fantasy) isnt what you hoped for.

I suspect that it isnt the trainer thing that caused you going off him but more the fact that the Sims type life you had in your head, where you grew in the same ways, understand each other perfectly despite not being together all of those years and then magically reuniting in a "where have you been all of my life" happy ending, isnt what has actually happened. He is real, not a fantasy and I am not sure that you can deal with that. Sometimes our fantasies are at their best when unrealised.

Firecarrier · 30/04/2023 00:54

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And YOU expect empathy on here just because you're owed some cash.

Boohoo.

QueefQueen80s · 30/04/2023 00:56

OldFan · 29/04/2023 23:21

Is 23 and 16 that weird?

It's just one ick @Kearsie . You'll get over it.

The fact that you need to ask that is worrying..

OldFan · 30/04/2023 00:57

When I was 17 I adored someone of 25. He was one of the great loves/crushes of my life and it seemed to be mutual.

It's nothing compared to the age differences I've had in relationships a couple of years later.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 30/04/2023 00:58

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2023 00:49

Been musing......

I am a little confused with the "I have loved since I was 16..." thing.

I assumed when I opened the thread that you had been together all of the intervening years and its only now, 30 odd years later, that you have developed an ick.

But you actually havent been together, and you have been married in between, presumably to a man that, atleast when you married him, you loved? So I wonder if there is more to this. That you had this "the one that got away" feeling about him and now feel like you have had a second chance with him. But the reality of him, flawed, annoying at times, not perfect and not a mind reader (as he is in your fantasy) isnt what you hoped for.

I suspect that it isnt the trainer thing that caused you going off him but more the fact that the Sims type life you had in your head, where you grew in the same ways, understand each other perfectly despite not being together all of those years and then magically reuniting in a "where have you been all of my life" happy ending, isnt what has actually happened. He is real, not a fantasy and I am not sure that you can deal with that. Sometimes our fantasies are at their best when unrealised.

That's basically what I was thinking.

Woman has crush on man at 16. At 49, she reconnects with him, having not been in a relationship for nearly all of the intervening years, and now she feels differently. And this surprises her?

You haven't been in love with him since you were 16, OP. If you had been, a daft move on the floor wouldn't have done a bloody thing.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 30/04/2023 00:58

Not been in a relationship with him for almost all the intervening years, I meant.

RelentlessMother · 30/04/2023 01:00

@Firecarrier I expect the sun to rise and set everyday and not even that I expect it will be forever. If you think I rely on empathy to write on this forum you don’t know how keyboards work.

prettylittlething