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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get the ick with a man I have loved since I was 16. I’m 49

219 replies

Kearsie · 29/04/2023 20:15

I went out with a guy when I was 16 and he was 23. Loved him, like actually adored him.
I got divorced 3 years ago and looked him up on Facebook. He was also divorced so we got chatting. Everything was great and we got on like a house on fire. Been out for a few drinks, slept together, it’s amazing.
Tonight we went to Tesco. I was at the checkout and he wanted to go back for milk. I stood there and waited, and then heard this god awful squeaking noise. Literally the whole shop
turned round to him doing a toe jabby run, squeaking his trainers down the aisle. I was beside myself with embarrassment.
The attraction has literally disappeared after 30 years. I’m so sad :(

OP posts:
LouBaloo · 29/04/2023 21:38

Does he do the T-Rex too?

Tina221 · 29/04/2023 21:39

Toe jabby run 😂😂😂

ThatFraggle · 29/04/2023 21:40

Newname2323 · 29/04/2023 20:35

Well the first ick for me would be that he fancied you as a 23 year old whilst you was 16. You have now been 23 before, could you imagine fancying a 16 year old, legal or not?

Even when I was 18, people looked sideways at other 18 year olds dating 16 year olds (as in people two year groups younger. Not someone a day away from 17 with someone who tuned 18 yesterday)

Now a man who took GCSEs almost a decade ago, sniffing around someone currently preparing for those exams is very ick.

Maybe whatever it was that caused him to not date within his own age group is putting you off now. Maybe now that you have children that age you see how off it is that someone whose uni graduation was four years past, feels that someone who wrote their eleven plus four years ago is someone they want to date.

PrettyMaybug · 29/04/2023 21:40

Is this a wind up?

MrsMitford3 · 29/04/2023 21:42

Did he have t-rex arms??

Simianwalk · 29/04/2023 21:42

You obviously are a bit of a shallow so and so but it's verrrry funny.

Aylestone · 29/04/2023 21:45

Simianwalk · 29/04/2023 21:42

You obviously are a bit of a shallow so and so but it's verrrry funny.

And while they’re now older, he sounds borderline like he should be on some sort of register.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 29/04/2023 21:46

MrsMitford3 · 29/04/2023 21:42

Did he have t-rex arms??

😂😂😂😂

Minimalme · 29/04/2023 21:46

The ick is usually unexpected. I'm imagining he runs on the balls of his feet, hence the squeak. That would put me off too.

It is a fairly reliable sign it wasn't love to start with.

QueefQueen80s · 29/04/2023 21:48

Newname2323 · 29/04/2023 20:35

Well the first ick for me would be that he fancied you as a 23 year old whilst you was 16. You have now been 23 before, could you imagine fancying a 16 year old, legal or not?

Yeah it was this for me too. 🤮

tennesseewhiskey1 · 29/04/2023 21:49

You’re right. LTB STRAIGHT AWAY. HTH.

Original poster
Kearsie · 29/04/2023 21:50

I’ve had to pretend I’ve got a headache to go to bed on my own.
yeah I get the 16 thing is a bit creepy now, but it was all fine then.
I don’t know what to do. Like the pp with the moustache thing (I laughed at that) I am literally turned right off. He’s gone from being Bruce willis to mr bean. I can’t get the image out of my head and when he ran up to me I felt
nothing but shame that everyone who had rubber necked at the noise knew he was with me.

OP posts:
steff13 · 29/04/2023 21:52

I guess you can't help how you feel but as I'm sure you're aware it is slim pickings out there. I would think long and hard before tossing a guy like him back because of squeaky running.

ArseMenagerie · 29/04/2023 21:52

The ick is the ick. It’s can’t be reasoned or controlled. Mine came when a guy I was with did a weird swallow. Like a bird.

Original poster
Kearsie · 29/04/2023 21:55

cocoloco117 · 29/04/2023 20:41

Not that it matters totally matters was this toe jabby run done deliberately to make noise, or does he just run like a weirdo and the noise was an unintended side effect?

It was to make the noise. I’m cringing so much

OP posts:
IKnowItsNotMine · 29/04/2023 21:55

It’s given me the ick and I don’t even know him.
Shudders.

Princessbananahamock · 29/04/2023 21:57

Omg I went out with my first boyfriend after my marriage has ended a few years before, I got the ick straight away he was still the same as when I dated him, I thought it was normal behaviour when I was with him( I was young)
I grew he didn’t yuck

Original poster
Kearsie · 29/04/2023 21:58

Just read the rest of the Icks I missed. So funny!
I only got that term from mn. I’m glad I can put a name to it or I would have no idea what was happening.
he just shouted that he will be up in 10 mins so im going to have to pretend to be asleep. I can’t risk sex!

OP posts:
OneFlipflopleft · 29/04/2023 21:59

He's probably too stupid to be ashamed, having daughters of the age you were then will not even trigger any respectful insight I think, not straight away.
But scared I think he is, of anything else happening after this confrontation.
And from now on, he will not be the same, there will always be some little voice in the back of his mind, that he cannot silence.
He will probably react differently to his daughters future boyfriends, be more aware of right and wrong.
And that will be you, the butterfly effect.
😍

OneFlipflopleft · 29/04/2023 22:00

Wrong thread

Mirabai · 29/04/2023 22:01

You were embarrassed of a man’s squeaky trainers? I don’t get it.

The ick I get, but over that is so weird.

Gemcat1 · 29/04/2023 22:01

It may not be an ick, it may be you realised that you had a fantasy from when you were a child and suddenly realised reality. We all do silly things from time to time and this was his. If you want to finish with him then do, you don't need our permission. If you aren't sure then just take time out. In the meantime, you've given us all a good laugh.

3luckystars · 29/04/2023 22:02

Sorry it didn’t work out. What are you going to say?

polkadotdalmation · 29/04/2023 22:03

I would have lol

TenThousandFireflies · 29/04/2023 22:03

If you like icks go and listen to shag married annoyed on Spotify. It’s brilliant.