Instead of instructing OP to beat herself up read on here how women whose husbands don't want to show affection of touch them, you could have read her update about her entirely normal levels of touch, @Freefall212
I think I’m a normal amount of affectionate. I will hug and kiss him hello/goodbye, hold hands, hand on thigh in car, shoulder rub if I’m passing type thing.
Even the feathery-stroker himself admits he is being excessive:
I have asked him if he has been this touchy in previous relationships. He said not to this level no.
And is so subtle with his pass-agg tactics to put his wishes above OP's that he's already convinced her that his neediness is all her fault & responsibility:
And if I’m honest, I think it’s my fault that it’s gotten to this level because I have allowed it and somehow felt I was wrong for not feeling the same need.
It's not fair or helpful to paint OP as some cold withholder of affection, or compare her to men who give their partners zero warmth- because it's not true!
If you had posted saying your boyfriend who you only see twice a week won’t cuddle or show you physical affection and doesn’t really want to be touched (and only offers his feet for you to touch) and insists on sitting at the other end of the couch….you would have gotten very different answers!
Of course she would.
But she didn't - because this is not what is happening here.
Most couples don't sit as per the pic OP posted. Her sofa isn't really big enough top do so. When they are watching TV (his preferred activity - OP tries to make him actually go out & do stuff together but this is another area where his wants trump hers) - she gets neckache, because the set-up is wrong for her to view comfortably. This still doesn't stop him from sulking about it.
It's absolutely normal to sit separately, often with light contact such as feet on lap, or holding hands. Describing that as insists on sitting on the other end of the couch is as emotionally manipulative & fact-avoiding as OP's b/f - that's what couches are designed for - for people to sit closely, but in their own space!
I do think this is a major area of incompatibility in couples and one you should think seriously about.
You are looking at the surface presentation & not the real problem.
The incompatibility isn't about closeness. OP gives plenty of that, her b/f admits he demands more of her than any previous g/f.
The real incompatibility problem here is the b/f insistence on OP meeting his overwhelming neediness, & ignoring her perfectly normal discomfort with that. With his wanting to do nothing but stay in & watch TV while welded to her.
With is refusal to go out & have fun together.
With his manipulation, emotional blackmail, & the startling lack of respect he inadvertently lets slip in exchanges like this:
My argument has been that I am spending time with him. We spend hours chatting and get along so well but for him, if it doesn’t involve physical contact it’s not fully quality time in his mind.
Regardless of our difference in physical contact needs I find that quite insulting.
He is displaying too many attributes of Lundy Bancroft's Mr Sensitive for OP to be compatible with him. OP doesn't need blaming for that - she needs support while she thinks through the implications of why he feels entitled to constantly suffocate her, refuse to go out with her, & so softly, so gently, manipulate her to ensure that he always gets his own way.