To ask if you have ever felt an instant mutual sexual attraction to someone?

[Margot78]

Just wondering if people really experience this or whether it’s just in movies! I’m mid forties now so probably too late for me but just curious as to whether it does really happen!

Oh yes. Over 50 years ago. He was probably 20 years older than me, and married. The instant we met, the smell of him completely overwhelmed me. I was a virginal 21-year old, waiting for my wedding night. But at that moment, I would have dropped my knickers behind the cowshed without a second thought. I can only call it a tsunami of lust. Obviously it came to nothing.

Of course i have.
Some of the hottest nights of my life ;)

Yes and I’ve been friendzoned (aside from a couple of drunken dalliances) for 30 years 😂

Once and it was confusing as hell. We’d met and worked together on line during covid and got on extremely well so we met physically for dinner when the restrictions lifted. There was the most incredible and instant sexual chemistry between us, like electricity and fireworks. It was strange and exhilarating and was a physical effort not to kiss or touch each other. So what made it confusing? He is a gay man. It sent him down a hideous rabbit hole of internalised homophobia and confusion and left me bereft. We’ve talked about it since and it was very very real and horrible for both of us. Sadly, we still speak regularly but rarely see each other in person as he prefers to keep a physical distance. I understand why.

That’s a shame. Why limit yourself? I like David from Schitt’s Creek’s take on it -

‘I like the wine, not the label.’

@Ratonastick that must have been incredibly hard, I feel for you both 💐

OP, I'm not sure whether you are referring to a "fanny flutter" that resulted in a long term relationship, or something which just called for immediate call to action stations in the short term.

I've certainly gone for it, in the shorter term because it felt so right. That itch just needed scratching at the time. Condom of course!

My sister has been married years and met her now husband at a mutual friend's wedding in an hotel. She laid him before the wedding ceremony took place.

Maybe there is something which runs in our family 😆.

Thanks for all your replies. It just fascinates me how you can feel a chemistry with another person like that. Not just being attracted to them but feeling their attraction to you. It’s interesting how some have led to long term relationships whereas others were just a short term thing.

Many years ago I visited a place in Sheffield with my adored DH and DC’s.
While walking around, a couple walked past us - the man looked at me and I experienced the weirdest physical attraction I had ever felt, and I realised that so did he.
I walked away, as did he, but there was definitely something there! I thought that it felt like a crossover from a previous life, and chose my current one. We are still together and as much in love now as we have been for nearly 40 years. I think that you sometimes get a glimpse of what could have been, but realise that you are in the right place at the right time…

I've felt it a few times in my life.
Sometimes it's led to a relationship & others a shorter 'fling' and other times nothing at all other than daydreaming.

I was a newly wed, in love with my gorgeous new husband who was away for a couple of nights with work. During this time in my work we had a project partner visiting from Switzerland & it was my job to liaise with him as the project manager

The minute we set eyes on each other there was a frisson. We both felt it. I caught him looking at me when he didn't know I could see him. We entertained him over a dinner & went for a drink after & he sat next to me in the pub. It was a booth / sofa type seat with a table in front & single chairs. I sat on the sofa & he sat in beside me & our thighs touched & honestly I almost physically jumped.

I shuffled a bit to move away but others came & we squished in a bit & his leg rested against mine & I let it. And I can vividly remember never being as aware of my own leg & the feel of his in my entire life.

He had beautiful hands & I also remember actually fighting an urge to touch his hand as it was on the table beside me in the pub. And feeling super guilty for feeling that way.

Obviously nothing happened. A single colleague attached herself to the group & spent the night shamelessly flirting with him. He went to the toilet at one stage & she commented on what a great body he had & how she hadn't noticed till he took off his jumper & she saw him in his tshrt I felt jealous though I had no right. And I had noticed his toned arms immediately But I remember him regularly turning away from her to say things quietly to me. Nothing untoward or even flirty but I felt the force of his focus which he wasn't giving the other girl.

When it came time to say goodbye we hugged. It lasted just a fraction too long. Enough to know. Honestly I could have kissed the face off him there & then & I don't think he would have said no.

I knew it was trouble for me so when he visited one further time for the project I made sure I was busy on another project & was nor involved in his visit. We did see each other in my building & we greeted each other & I felt myself blushing & fearing that all my colleagues could see though me & would know my filthy thoughts about him.

I never met him in person again though he became well known in my sector & I loosely follow his success over the years. He's still v handsome from the photos in the media I've seen.

I have absolute certainty that he felt the attraction / chemistry too.

I'm still married to my wonderful husband 20 years later & have had / am having a fab life with him. And I rarely think about Mr Switzerland anymore.

We were in our early 30s so not some love struck teens at that stage

Yes, I sat down next to him and that was it for the next 4 years 😂 the relationship could never work but I still fancy the pants off him.

We're talking more than 'fanny flutters' here.

There was one, I still consider him unfinished business despite being ridiculously in love with my now husband.

It was literally a case of our eyes meeting across a crowded square, and for once I didn't have to doubt myself or feel insecure. I just knew, instantly and automatically, that he felt the same chemistry. There must have been some kind of visible electricity because my friend turned to me and said 'Wow, you're in trouble!', and apparently his friends said similar. It took us about 15 minutes to reach each other through the crowds and then very few words were exchanged, we just grabbed hands and went back to mine, to bed. He moved in that same night. It was more than sex, although that would have been enough!

For various reasons the situation was very complicated, not within our control, so it only lasted a couple of years but I'll never forget the sensations, the way my body temperature would go up a few degrees and so I would know he was approaching - I'd feel the heat and look out of the window to find him walking down our road on the way home from work or something. I just always knew he was around without even seeing him as my body would start warming up, like a much more pleasant version of a menopausal hot flush!

Having to part nearly broke us both, it took me years to feel anything for anyone again, and he ended up becoming good friends with the older woman who moved into our place because she kept finding him hanging around there, trying to feel close to me. She would contact me about it.

I'm sure it would be better that we never see each other again because I think we would blow up our current, happy lives.

Yes.

Many years ago I was a barmaid and felt....I don't know....I guess it was attraction....to one of the regulars who used to come in. He wasn't attractive, I didn't 'fancy' him, he was cheating on his girlfriend and would slag her off behind her back. He had some insurance scam thing going, was on income tax dodge, was a fat lardy arrogant full-of-himself arse of a man who I got really irritated by.

But for some reason I wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to be attracted to me. I don't know why. The thought of it knocks me sick and 20+ years later it still bothers me as to what these feelings were and why I was pleased when he came in the pub on my shift. I'm pretty revolted with myself but I still don't think I fancied him. Could it have been sexual attraction I didn't have any control over?

I think when you look at them you can tell from how they look back.

Any prolonged mutual gaze will most likely be sexual.

yes

Lots of times!

Yes, several times. It's a mesmerising experience. But none of them turned into true love or even a LTR.

I remember meeting one man. I looked across at him and we fell into each other's eyes. Back to his place and the next morning I found my clothes scattered across his front garden...

Yes, one that went nowhere (lots of frustrated flirting) and one I married!

Oh my word yes! And that's why I married him. Still have that spark over twenty years later. Feel so sorry for couples who lose it or never even had it in the first place.

I was in my 30s and working away from home and it happened big time and very quickly. It was a woman(!) and for the first time I realised that I wasn't as heterosexual as I thought I was. That was some eye opener to the rest of my life to date.

Yes, with dh 15 years ago. He was literally everything I fancied in one guy physically and his eyes popped out of his head when he seen me! He made a bee line for me and we chatted and exchanged details then I left the bar and went home as I had work early the next day!!

15 years later. 10 years married and we are still so physically attracted to each other and have a seriously strong relationship

Since I met DH I've never had a crush or fancied anyone else!!

Yes. I told him off for chopping down a nice tree in my street, and we just looked at each other for ages smiling and wondering if we were thinking the same thing. We very much were. We both still give each other the same look if we ever bump into each other 😭