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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you have ever felt an instant mutual sexual attraction to someone?

208 replies

Margot78 · 22/04/2023 22:32

Just wondering if people really experience this or whether it’s just in movies! I’m mid forties now so probably too late for me but just curious as to whether it does really happen!

OP posts:
Wowz · 23/04/2023 20:31

Just once. There are obviously lots of people I've felt attracted to, and probably some of them have been attracted to me, but I can't explain the feelings I had for this one person, it was like jaw dropping, speechless, butterfly's instant sexual chemistry. He was a friend of a friend and each time we met through said friend it was like there was only the two of us in the room. Sex was amazing, and we ended up being good friends for a while, would never have got serious with him through, we where two totally different people.

PurpleFlower1983 · 23/04/2023 20:32

Yes! With my first long term boyfriend (who turned out to be a twat) and with my husband.

JoanThursday · 23/04/2023 20:42

Yes - a guy I was at uni with. Amazing chemistry, but I was with someone else at the time and nothing ever happened.

Five years after we graduated, our paths crossed again, and let's just say we made up for lost time that summer.

I'd love to say that 20 years later we're still together. Sadly, he was tragically killed the following year. I still think of him.

girlfriend44 · 23/04/2023 20:44

No.

2ndMrsdeWinter · 23/04/2023 20:59

Yes. He was the one that got away for me. I have never in my life felt anything as intense as the sexual chemistry we shared.

lookeelikee · 23/04/2023 21:10

Yes. Several times.

yoga4meinthemorning · 23/04/2023 21:29

I assumed almost everyone had this and this is how most couples get together.

I'd say I've had this dozens of times (mostly on dark dance floors)

I've almost never grown to fancy someone if I didn't get that feeling the first time I saw them.

LiliLil · 23/04/2023 21:33

Yes.

The sex was incredible but he was the most toxic, abusive man I’ve ever met and he very nearly ruined me.

Bluelightbaby · 23/04/2023 21:35

Yes three times :) 3rd one is now my partner :) interestingly never had it with my exhusband !

watchthebloodycat · 23/04/2023 21:42

Yes and we are married now

Wallsofglass · 23/04/2023 22:37

Yes absolutely but dare I say I think it’s slightly different from the love at first sight feeling?
A few times I’ve felt the sexual energy, but the one time in my life I felt the most overwhelming feeling I can only describe as love at first sight, it wasn’t really a sexual urge at all.

GarlicGrace · 23/04/2023 22:58

Wallsofglass · 23/04/2023 22:37

Yes absolutely but dare I say I think it’s slightly different from the love at first sight feeling?
A few times I’ve felt the sexual energy, but the one time in my life I felt the most overwhelming feeling I can only describe as love at first sight, it wasn’t really a sexual urge at all.

Now this I have never felt! I enjoy hearing other people's stories about it but ... my fanjo's quicker off the mark than my heart Blush

SinisterBumFacedCat · 23/04/2023 23:31

I assumed no for most of my life but looking back I think when I felt instant attraction to someone I was also subconsciously picking up a lot of cues from them that they were attracted to me too, but I was too insecure to believe it and shy to do anything about it myself (and in a long term relationship).

There was a guy i literally passed on the street and we both looked back a smiled at the same time, then he came running after me. He was younger and it started well but we were in different places and it just fizzled out.

JackiePlace · 23/04/2023 23:34

I have felt it but unfortunately it wasn't mutual.

Beautifulstrange1 · 23/04/2023 23:45

Yes, totally broke my heart but it was amazing until that happened

bombemma · 23/04/2023 23:46

Gosh lots and at least weekly with my DP I honestly feel a need for him inside me.

But once a few years ago I was filling up the car at petrol station, and caught the eye of a man when paying. We just locked eyes and full on tingles, drove away both slowly locking eye contact. I have never felt need like that before:

bombemma · 23/04/2023 23:47

Sent too soon. Masturbated over him for months, and full on too the hump with DP.

Never saw him again

DorisParchment · 24/04/2023 00:07

Yes, a friend’s boyfriend. She went away for a long weekend and asked me if I could pick him up and take him to play tennis as she had booked the court before her holiday. We bumped into each other in a pub the night before, spent all weekend shagging. We did make it to the tennis court as we were playing doubles, but went straight back to bed afterwards. When she came back, she said “I hope you two haven’t been taking advantage of my absence.” He said “Oh of course, we’ve been at it all weekend like rabbits” and we all laughed. Never happened again, and he married her a year later.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 24/04/2023 00:11

DorisParchment · 24/04/2023 00:07

Yes, a friend’s boyfriend. She went away for a long weekend and asked me if I could pick him up and take him to play tennis as she had booked the court before her holiday. We bumped into each other in a pub the night before, spent all weekend shagging. We did make it to the tennis court as we were playing doubles, but went straight back to bed afterwards. When she came back, she said “I hope you two haven’t been taking advantage of my absence.” He said “Oh of course, we’ve been at it all weekend like rabbits” and we all laughed. Never happened again, and he married her a year later.

what an odd request - to pick her boyfriend up while she was away and play tennis with him? 🤣. It’s almost like she knew what was going to happen and wanted him to get it out of his system before they got married.

Joystir59 · 24/04/2023 01:00

Yes! And went on to have a seven year relationship with her.

venusandmars · 24/04/2023 01:45

Yes, once mid 30s.

Introduced casually in the hospital canteen by a mutual friend. She said she could hardly eat her lunch because of 'electricity'. Her exact quote to me later was: "how can you eat a plate of maccaroni cheese when you are watching two people fall in love". We met again a few weeks later, and that was it.

For a while...

The relationship was the most intense I've ever had, the chemistry was amazing. We were enthralled by each other.

But all relationships need compatability:

  • sexual compatabilty
  • compatable values re family, life goals, belief systems
  • finacial compatability

We came a cropper on our differing financial values. I'm essential a saver with an eye on a budget. He would have £1 and spend it three times over. Any way of us being together was likely to lead to me trying to monitor his spend and him trying to hide it from me.

Ultimately that killed the sexual flame.

(was the still the best ever!)

Alaimo · 24/04/2023 02:06

One instance comes to mind. I was 19 and backpacking and met this American guy in a hostel. We spent a few days together, had sex on the beach at night and in the hostel dorm during the day when everyone else was out 😅. He sent me a message a year later to say he was in my hometown for a few days, unfortunately I was away on another holiday, and I've never seen him again.

I did look him up recently, and it's funny how similar he is in looks & style to my now DH....

SpringCherryPie · 24/04/2023 02:47

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/04/2023 22:36

Oh yes. We had a spectacular summer. Didn’t have much in common but chemistry and I can’t even remember his last name now.

Sounds fun!

DeeCeeCherry · 24/04/2023 02:57

Yes. With current DP. 6 years later we still have that attraction. I'm in my late 50s now

echt · 24/04/2023 03:20

I would have thought any one night stand is instant mutual sexual attraction (IMSA). Or am I missing something?

IMSA is not the same as enduring attraction/love/companionship/shred interests, but it's a definite bonus.

So, yeah, lots. Grin

Including my lovely late DH.