To sell my car to avoid 3 way car sharing?

[3WayCarShareNoThanks]

I own a car, but it used to be my dads car, he sold it to me when he retired on the agreement that he could use it when needed.

It’s worked out fine between us as he only needs it once a week or for appointments, so then I either WFH or he drives me to work and picks me up or we come to another agreement. There’s never been a time when we haven’t managed to find some solution when we’ve both needed the car. We basically live together so it’s been fine (we live on the same road, but he has a garden and I don’t so I often pop round with my DC to use his garden and he pops to mine to use things he doesn’t have like a dishwasher)

That was until December. My brother split with his wife and moved back to our town from a few hours away.

He had to sell his car as he couldn’t afford it on his own. He also had to quit his job as it was a few hours away and he can’t get there without a car.

Now he’s constantly borrowing my car and my dad just says he can. Every job interview or everytime he wants to do anything; meet friends or do a hobby or anything he borrows my car, no consultation with me he just takes it, no thought as to how I’ll get to work or get my DC (I’m a single parent) to their activities or to their dads or to school, I just get told I should “Have more sympathy as I’ve not had to give everything up” or should “Organise to wfh then”.

And my brother never repays the fuel costs either, he literally uses ½ of a tank of fuel and doesn’t even offer to repay me or take it to petrol station and refill it, he just uses it.

I’ve told my dad it needs to stop and he just said it’s his car to so he’ll let my brother use it if he wants to.

I’ve offered to sell it back to them as I can now borrow the money from work to buy myself a slightly newer car anyway but both say they can’t afford it.

I’m tempted to just sell it and buy myself a newer car and not put either of them on the insurance (could even change insurance company to make it easier) but WIBU to do this?

I’m not so bothered about having to WFH, but I’d rather have notice so I can organise to speak to clients by phone or video call rather than having to cancel face to face meetings, and so I can organise for my DC to get to their dads house or hobbies etc by other means - ExH will pick up from me but then I have to collect so it does need to be arranged as we share transport between us, school friends will pick them up on the way passed but I try to then repay the favour, similarly hobbies.

So AIBU?

When's it next due to be insured, MOT'd or taxed?

Tell them they pay their share of the cost or you remove them both from the insurance. I'd think only having you on the insurance will be cheaper than having them both.

The cost of a car loan via work won't be cheap and be careful of how long you'll be paying for it.
I'm a cynic but loans from work are often a way of tying you to the employer. If they start treating you badly and you're stuck because you can't afford to pay of the loan so changing jobs isn't an option.
And yes you will notice the deduction in your pay.

I don't get this.

You're a single parent with children not yet old enough to drive, I think?

You only need one car.

Why would you buy yourself a new car with a loan from work and then also keep this one, with all the associated running costs?

You've already paid full market price for this one, meaning that your dad should have no expectation of being able to use it at all. It was supreme cheeky fuckery of him to even suggest this arrangement, and I am astounded that you agreed to it.

And then to make matters worse, your dad thinks he has the right to lend the car to your brother, without asking you, so your brother can just use it whenever he wants with no warning, frequently leaving you stranded without the use of YOUR OWN CAR, and not even fill up with petrol.

They are both taking the absolute piss.

You would not be unreasonable to take the spare key off your dad and say no one is driving the car without your permission.

You would not be unreasonable to take your brother off the insurance. Hell, you would not even be unreasonable to tell your dad you've changed your mind about this arrangement and take HIM off the insurance. Since he sold the car to you, his own daughter, for the same price he could have sold it to a random buyer for, he won't have lost anything, except the free use of someone else's car.

You would not be unreasonable to sell the car and buy another one which neither of them is insured to drive.

You would be massively, massively unreasonable to buy yourself a new car and keep this one, which you bought at full price and which you own fair and square, for your cheeky fucker dad and cheeky fucker brother to use.

Don't be a mug. Stand up for yourself.

Part ex this car against a newer one, save yourself the hassle of selling it. I take it the car is in your name and you have the V5?

Don't agree to 'sell' it to them, you'll never see a penny for it.

Under no circumstances add either of them to your insurance again.

I don't think you should put yourself in debt, all you need to do is tell your dad you need your keys back and that you will require notice if they wish to borrow YOUR car. They are to put fuel in from time to time. I would maybe try and ensure there isn't much fuel in if they are 'booking' it in advance.

Surely this is easier than buying a whole new car and still having the fallout when they are told they cannot use it.

Op why would you buy a new car which will be more expensive and take a chunk out of your income? You paid a fair price for your car. Your car meets your needs

Yep - if you aren't going to sell it, do this.

Then at least you won't be stuck pouring good money after bad, or be responsible for any parking tickets, speeding fines etc your brother gets.

If your name is on the V5 it’s your car. And the agreement was for your dad to use it, not that he could agree to anyone else doing so, like your DB. Is your DB insured to drive it ? Who pays the insurance and tax, and maintenance costs ? If you do then your dad has himself a good deal doesn’t he ? He’s sold you the car but acts as though it’s still his !! One easy solution would be to tell your dad and your DB that if either of them takes the car without your permission again, you will report it stolen. And mean it.

God your Dad’s not stupid is he? Gets the market price of the car to pocket but then gets to still use it whenever he likes. Bet he never pays for petrol, maintenance, services, MOT, repairs?? Then lends it out to whoever he likes..

I don’t know why you agreed to such a shit deal but anyway, get out of it as quick as possible. Offer to sell back to him. If he says no just sell it. I’d be pretty pissed off with him too.

Fresh start needed.
Sell car.
Buy another.
Insure yourself only.