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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He stepped on a spider

207 replies

Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:22

With glee/relish…

Man I like and have been attracted to for a while…(we’re not together)
There was a medium sized spider on the floor, one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it. He came over and stamped right on it with his big foot, sort of scraped his foot back, laughed and said ‘It’s the circle of life’ and walked off.

Aibu to have gone off him, pretty much immediately?

So disappointed

OP posts:
RunningUpThatMill · 22/04/2023 15:17

It was an unnecessary thing to do and it sounds like he took pleasure in it. I don't think YABU at all to have the ick.

For the people asking what is alright to kill? Imo if it isn't hurting you, then just let it be or remove it. I wouldn't kill anything living if I could help it. Fleas are different, they are parasites and need a host to survive. My way of dealing with fleas is preventative - my dog is treated to prevent fleas, and if it came down to my dog being bitten constantly by fleas - I'd kill them. If I had an infestation of any kind in my house, of course I would want it resolved, but I would explore the most humane solution first.

Of course there will be times when killing would be the only option, but it would be a last resort, and it would leave me feeling unhappy and guilty.

FuckYouEzekiel · 22/04/2023 15:55

No different to sitting down to a chicken korma or beef stew imo. Just because he took joy in killing does not negate to suffering your decisions have on the animals in the meat isle. Where is the moral line? A victim of the meat industry wouldnt know or care where you draw the line.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 22/04/2023 16:07

It is clear no one comes from a farm or rural area with all this outrage over the death of an insect or arachnid (to be precise)! No one gardens or uses pesticides or sprays to manage lawns or plants or veggies or flowers. No one has vaccuumed up a harmless housefly. Their houses are full of spiders and spider webs who live happily in peace? This thread seems filled with ladies of the manor type women. "Please tell the butler to come and catch and release this insect I see, now, Jeeves"

PonyPatter44 · 22/04/2023 16:26

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 22/04/2023 16:07

It is clear no one comes from a farm or rural area with all this outrage over the death of an insect or arachnid (to be precise)! No one gardens or uses pesticides or sprays to manage lawns or plants or veggies or flowers. No one has vaccuumed up a harmless housefly. Their houses are full of spiders and spider webs who live happily in peace? This thread seems filled with ladies of the manor type women. "Please tell the butler to come and catch and release this insect I see, now, Jeeves"

I wouldn't think much of a farmer who deliberately hurt animals for fun, or who caused unnecessary suffering to one. Meat also tastes better when animals are killed locally and don't have to travel miles beforehand, getting more and more stressed as they go.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 22/04/2023 16:32

PonyPatter44 · 22/04/2023 16:26

I wouldn't think much of a farmer who deliberately hurt animals for fun, or who caused unnecessary suffering to one. Meat also tastes better when animals are killed locally and don't have to travel miles beforehand, getting more and more stressed as they go.

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He didn't kill for fun or cause unnecessary suffering. He was called over to deal with it by someone who was upset and it sounds like the death was very quick. He stomped on an insect that he was asked to get rid of. There was no fun or suffering involved.

stayathomer · 22/04/2023 16:33

Ltb. (And I mean it!)

TheLadyofShalott1 · 22/04/2023 16:48

FatsiaJaponicaVariegata · 22/04/2023 14:29

Isn't a lot of this down to the extent to which they have the capacity to carry and spread disease though?

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@FatsiaJaponicaVariegata it is well known that by far the most dangerous and nasty creatures on Earth are human beings,so maybe we should start with ourselves then?

In case anyone is concerned, just because I believe what I just said in the paragraph above, I am not about to become a mass murderer, or even an individual one...

ChristmasFluff · 22/04/2023 16:52

I'd be done with him. There's just no need. I'm not interested in being with someone who does not value other lives, and that includes animals.

You may be being hypocritical if you are not at least vegetarian though. Animals killed for meat are way more self-aware than spiders are.

Greentree1 · 22/04/2023 16:58

I usually have to get rid of spiders although I'm the one that's scared of them. Killing is the last resort, usually a glass jar dropped over and a sheet of paper/card pushed under and spider in a jar, take outside and release. If it's about to run under the bed it might not be so lucky, sorry spider.

The comment was a bit crass, maybe he was trying to lighten the moment, but not appealing. Why didn't anyone else try to catch it?

FatsiaJaponicaVariegata · 22/04/2023 17:32

TheLadyofShalott1 · 22/04/2023 16:48

@FatsiaJaponicaVariegata it is well known that by far the most dangerous and nasty creatures on Earth are human beings,so maybe we should start with ourselves then?

In case anyone is concerned, just because I believe what I just said in the paragraph above, I am not about to become a mass murderer, or even an individual one...

Show quote history

I don't kill anything. It's humane relocations only here.

But I think Joe Average is probably more likely to be accepting of killing things that they unthinkingly perceive to be 'dirty'.

RunningUpThatMill · 22/04/2023 17:43

FuckYouEzekiel · 22/04/2023 15:55

No different to sitting down to a chicken korma or beef stew imo. Just because he took joy in killing does not negate to suffering your decisions have on the animals in the meat isle. Where is the moral line? A victim of the meat industry wouldnt know or care where you draw the line.

I think there is a difference. Mammals are classed as sentient beings. Our cattle, sheep and pigs have some intelligence and are able to feel pain. Whilst I wouldn't kill anything not classified as being sentient on purpose, I'm aware that I will do it inadvertently, and I certainly wouldn't be tucking into anything that contained animals or animal produce either.

Whilst an animal that is reared for food might not know or care where I draw the moral line, I certainly do.

Moonshine60 · 22/04/2023 18:03

Sorry all, he'd be my hero.

FuckYouEzekiel · 22/04/2023 20:14

RunningUpThatMill · 22/04/2023 17:43

I think there is a difference. Mammals are classed as sentient beings. Our cattle, sheep and pigs have some intelligence and are able to feel pain. Whilst I wouldn't kill anything not classified as being sentient on purpose, I'm aware that I will do it inadvertently, and I certainly wouldn't be tucking into anything that contained animals or animal produce either.

Whilst an animal that is reared for food might not know or care where I draw the moral line, I certainly do.

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There is no humane knife that slits their throat,but I see what you mean.

RunningUpThatMill · 22/04/2023 20:26

FuckYouEzekiel · 22/04/2023 20:14

There is no humane knife that slits their throat,but I see what you mean.

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Amen. There is no humane way to kill an animal that doesn't want to die and there is no humane way to kill the offspring of an animal who is of no use, but also doesn't want to die. Of course there are more painful ways to kill an animal, but there is absolutely no humane way.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 23/04/2023 01:56

RunningUpThatMill · 22/04/2023 20:26

Amen. There is no humane way to kill an animal that doesn't want to die and there is no humane way to kill the offspring of an animal who is of no use, but also doesn't want to die. Of course there are more painful ways to kill an animal, but there is absolutely no humane way.

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Then what about when we have our beloved pets put to sleep? You seem to be saying that even that is an inhumane way?

"Ofcourse there are more painful ways to kill an animal, but there is absolutely no humane way"

I can't agree with you there @RunningUpThatMill.

mainsfed · 23/04/2023 02:28

Ohheyitsme1 · 20/04/2023 22:34

I don’t think it’s ok to kill any of them.

Spiders and flies are easily dealt with, and the more gross ones like slugs generally stay outside where you can ignore them. Even wasps, just open the door and shoo them in that direction.

It’d put me off anyone right away if they needlessly killed a small thing.

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Hopefully all these spider killers will be squished the same in their next life.

Johnisafckface · 23/04/2023 02:46

I hate hate spiders and I kill them. What would turn me off is his glee of killing it. Seems unnecessary and makes me think he has a cold side to him. If he’d stomped on it out of fear then kept it moving I wouldn’t think twice about it.

Catsmere · 23/04/2023 04:13

Johnisafckface · 23/04/2023 02:46

I hate hate spiders and I kill them. What would turn me off is his glee of killing it. Seems unnecessary and makes me think he has a cold side to him. If he’d stomped on it out of fear then kept it moving I wouldn’t think twice about it.

This. I’m shaking my head at the posters claiming to think it’s sanctimonious to take issue with the attitude he brought to it. That was the very thing OP was talking about.

HoppingPavlova · 23/04/2023 04:41

Would depend. I kill nasty ones with no hesitation, and we get a lot of these in. Others I take out.

LuckyPeonies · 23/04/2023 04:52

YANBU!! He is callous and mean, and you can do much better.

RunningUpThatMill · 23/04/2023 12:44

@TheLadyofShalott1 apologies. I was speaking specifically about killing living things that just want to get on with their lives. If an animal is suffering, of course I believe the best thing to do would be to put it to sleep.

Badbudgeter · 23/04/2023 12:50

Your average house spider won’t survive outdoors, so by putting it out you’re condemning it to a slow death. Same with mice with humane traps when you release a few miles down the road into a field. It’s not going to end well. You may as well kill it quick and get it over and done with.

MermaidMummy06 · 23/04/2023 12:58

Well this an eye opening thread! I literally just killed a spider running across my floor. It's the third one this weekend so I just set a reminder to call my pestie.

I don't enjoy it. But I'm not chasing every little spider I see to put it outside!!

The ick for me is purely that he squished it then didn't clean up the mess.

Welcome to Australia.

Catsmere · 23/04/2023 13:11

MermaidMummy06 · 23/04/2023 12:58

Well this an eye opening thread! I literally just killed a spider running across my floor. It's the third one this weekend so I just set a reminder to call my pestie.

I don't enjoy it. But I'm not chasing every little spider I see to put it outside!!

The ick for me is purely that he squished it then didn't clean up the mess.

Welcome to Australia.

The land of the white-tail spiders and leaf-curlers trying to set up home between parked cars!

WickedSerious · 23/04/2023 13:52

I might agree with the 'circle of life' comment if the fucker had eaten it.