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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He stepped on a spider

207 replies

Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:22

With glee/relish…

Man I like and have been attracted to for a while…(we’re not together)
There was a medium sized spider on the floor, one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it. He came over and stamped right on it with his big foot, sort of scraped his foot back, laughed and said ‘It’s the circle of life’ and walked off.

Aibu to have gone off him, pretty much immediately?

So disappointed

OP posts:
Verv · 21/04/2023 10:09

Anybody taking enjoyment or pride from killing is a massive red flag for me. Instant ick. And particularly the circle of life comment, what a knobber.

MrsSkylerWhite · 21/04/2023 10:13

Woopzies · Today 04:04
Fwiw, house spiders that are put in a jar and taken outside die a slow and painful death due to no longer being suited to the outdoors.

Quick, painless death is a favour in comparison to that.”

Or you could just leave them be and let them go about their business in the house. The world would be much the worse without spiders.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 11:07

HeckyPeck · 21/04/2023 09:21

OP says he laughed.

Show quote history

I envy your life if everytime you have made any laughing sound you are filled with joy and experiencing a thrill.

VeganStar · 21/04/2023 23:52

What an absolute arse.I’d have had to have called him out for being so needlessly cruel. Horrible man. Did someone not say anything to him ???
Spiders are the cutest little creatures ever. Google spiders faces and tell me they are not cute, but even if they were ugly that’s still no reason to end its life 😡

Doone21 · 22/04/2023 09:24

You can't help if it bothers you. I don't kill spiders even though I dislike them. Not weird to be put off by that at all

Amanduh · 22/04/2023 12:29

I don’t know anyone that doesn’t just kill a spider or a fly 🤷🏼‍♀️

CornishGem1975 · 22/04/2023 12:34

"Killing for fun" is hilarious. He hardly sounded like he jumped up, rubbed his hands with glee.

He hardly put the hamster in the microwave. I couldn't get upset about this, I might not like it but it wouldn't be a massive red flag to me. Is it a red flag for my husband when I swat and kill a wasp? What's the difference between spider and wasp? Am I treating animals badly as has been suggested on this thread?

Wishona · 22/04/2023 12:35

That would squash any positive thoughts I had for him.

I’m not too fond of my MIL, she also hoovers spiders and in the summer kills wasps one after the other. I do think it takes a certain type…

Blamunge · 22/04/2023 12:36

He’s not a nice person. This incident tells you a lot about his personality. He’s selfish and mean, and has no respect for others. Good job you found out before it went any further.

threecupsofteaminimum · 22/04/2023 12:37

42isthemeaning · 20/04/2023 20:29

What he needs is a giant boot out of nowhere stamping on him.

😂😂😂😂

CornishGem1975 · 22/04/2023 12:38

He’s not a nice person. This incident tells you a lot about his personality. He’s selfish and mean, and has no respect for others Good job you found out before it went any further.*

*spiders

mainsfed · 22/04/2023 12:39

That’s shitty. My H hates spiders too but he just calls me to get rid of it.

PixieLaLa · 22/04/2023 12:42

I find it more repulsive that a man had to be called over to ‘deal’ with a spider because a group of women couldn’t

FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall · 22/04/2023 12:48

I'm terrified of spiders but I don't think they should die because I'm frightened of them. DH killed one 'for me' once early in our relationship and I was very clear that I didn't think that was ok. 38 years in and he now disposes of them humanely by picking them up with a tissue and putting them outside. Somehow one of my adult DDs has absolutely no fear of them and can pick even the largest one up in her bare hands and take it outside.

in the unfortunate even I am home alone and see a big critter I either put a cup over it until someone braver is around or relocate as far away as possible.

i have devised a way of letting family know where the terrifying culprit is!

Sensitive content
He stepped on a spider
mainsfed · 22/04/2023 13:13

PixieLaLa · 22/04/2023 12:42

I find it more repulsive that a man had to be called over to ‘deal’ with a spider because a group of women couldn’t

Why have you changed ‘woman with a phobia called him to remove a spider’ to ‘a group of women couldn’t deal with a spider’?

PixieLaLa · 22/04/2023 13:19

mainsfed · 22/04/2023 13:13

Why have you changed ‘woman with a phobia called him to remove a spider’ to ‘a group of women couldn’t deal with a spider’?

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one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/04/2023 13:24

It's unnecessary and seems quite an odd way to behave. I would be put off.

I am really terrified of spiders (illogical, I know, but I can't help it!), however, I wouldn't want them to be stepped on/killed. I just get someone to carefully put them outside! They haven't harmed me so I don't want them harmed.

FatsiaJaponicaVariegata · 22/04/2023 14:29

GasPanic · 20/04/2023 22:34

I'm reliably informed rats and mice are OK to kill.

But field mice aren't.

On the insect front, fleas, flies, cockroaches, silverfish, wasps probably OK (not sure whether fleas are insects). Spiders, beetles, bees probably not.

I think ants are definitely fair game.

Personally I think wasps should sack their PR, because there is hardly any difference between them and a bee.

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Isn't a lot of this down to the extent to which they have the capacity to carry and spread disease though?

mainsfed · 22/04/2023 14:32

PixieLaLa · 22/04/2023 13:19

one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it

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So why does that mean a group of women couldn’t deal with a spider?

ChaToilLeam · 22/04/2023 14:35

He just sounds nasty. Ditch forthwith.

ColdAsAWitchsTit · 22/04/2023 14:38

Not cool to kill a spider. Flies on the other hand...

TheBeautifulMoors · 22/04/2023 14:49

Bluegrass · 20/04/2023 22:27

Can we put together a list of insects/arachnids with which are ok to kill (if any) and which are morally reprehensible to kill - together with explanations as to why one life is worth more than another?

🤣

QuickGuide · 22/04/2023 14:50

Maybe he was just as scared and this was a way to be the hero he was asked to be without having to pick it up?

TheBeautifulMoors · 22/04/2023 14:53

LizzieW1969 · 21/04/2023 00:49

I have no compunction about swatting mozzies personally, but then I have had malaria whilst in West Africa, so that probably helps explain my attitude there. (Although I hate the blighters anyway, especially their high-pitched buzzing during the night!)

Is it only legitimate to swatt a mosquito when there is the possibility that it might give you malaria or some other disease, I wonder??)

I have no issue with spiders, I move them outside if my DDs see them, though, as they hate them.

As for wasps, I’m completely phobic and run away from them. (I have been badly stung, in my defence!)

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Killing is killing. Perhaps the man in the op was bitten by a spider and it got badly infected.
To many people in WA, malaria is like getting cold or flu - par for the course.

TheBeautifulMoors · 22/04/2023 14:55

Heimy88 · 21/04/2023 02:49

This!

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Quite a few people have said they’d kill it too