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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He stepped on a spider

207 replies

Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:22

With glee/relish…

Man I like and have been attracted to for a while…(we’re not together)
There was a medium sized spider on the floor, one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it. He came over and stamped right on it with his big foot, sort of scraped his foot back, laughed and said ‘It’s the circle of life’ and walked off.

Aibu to have gone off him, pretty much immediately?

So disappointed

OP posts:
staceyflack · 20/04/2023 20:31

Total turn off... how unpleasant he is.

Original poster
Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:31

He was so nice before…or so I thought

I’ve never had such an instant, shocking going off someone…just downright mean

OP posts:
Tilllly · 20/04/2023 20:32

I don't like spiders. At all.

I have a spider catcher and put them out in the garden (with a stern warning to stay out)

He's a horrible man

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/04/2023 20:32

ChilliWine · 20/04/2023 20:27

My decorator stamped on a ladybird but I still fancy the arse off him. What is it about tradesmen?

To be fair to him he thought it was poisonous and didn't take glee in it. The circle of life stuff makes him sound like a proper prick. Ew.

The lack of danger and glee make the OP worse than your example.

I couldn't shag anyone taking pleasure in pain or death.

CindersAgain · 20/04/2023 20:35

Spiders and wasps often get killed as there are more people who are scared of them. I wouldn’t mind a spider being killed if someone was really upset by it. But maybe there could have been a conversation about it, so that people who want it to be saved could have moved it. I mean, if you’d moved it, that would have suited everyone?
Possibly just a bad judgment call on the bloke’s part.

TheInterceptor · 20/04/2023 20:35

My husband won't even drop a caught spider out of a window 'in case it gets cold'. He always releases them into the garage Grin

Original poster
Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:37

@CindersAgain I didn’t even have a chance/get a say, he did it so quickly

OP posts:
elm26 · 20/04/2023 20:38

I am an arachnophobe, to the point where like year, one ran up my duvet in bed last summer and even though my DH got it and chucked it outside, I couldn't lay in the bed as I kept seeing it every time I closed my eyes and even I don't like them being killed and will never harm them.

elm26 · 20/04/2023 20:41

TheInterceptor · 20/04/2023 20:35

My husband won't even drop a caught spider out of a window 'in case it gets cold'. He always releases them into the garage Grin

This made me laugh as my lovely, kind Grandad named all of the spiders in the house "Fred" and would move them to the en-suite bathroom in a spare bedroom that nobody used so my Nan wouldn't freak out.

He'd open the window for them in case they wanted out but he'd leave them in there complete with a bath mat in case they wanted somewhere "soft" to lie 😂

StarDolphins · 20/04/2023 20:42

That woul be a dealbreaker for me. I am scared of spiders but I will never kill them ever, I put them in a glass & outside. Who would gleefully kill a spider, that’s just awful & mean.

Pennyplant19 · 20/04/2023 20:46

Vile man. Definitely give him a swerve.

StarDolphins · 20/04/2023 20:47

CindersAgain · 20/04/2023 20:35

Spiders and wasps often get killed as there are more people who are scared of them. I wouldn’t mind a spider being killed if someone was really upset by it. But maybe there could have been a conversation about it, so that people who want it to be saved could have moved it. I mean, if you’d moved it, that would have suited everyone?
Possibly just a bad judgment call on the bloke’s part.

Why should a spider be killed just because someon is upset by it. Just get someone that isn’t upset by it to move it. No need at all to kill it. Ants upset me but I won’t intentionally kill them.

staceyflack · 20/04/2023 21:05

People can be so disappointing. The older I get, the longer I take to trust people.

Much more serious of course, but your post made md think of a time years ago, i was out for a drink with (I thought) a pal from work. He was such a laugh and was leaving the job. I had absolutely no idea he was racist, until he said something offensive. I told him how horrible he was, and left.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 20/04/2023 21:13

Well he sounds horrible. YANBU at all.

BlüeöysterCunt · 20/04/2023 21:17

elm26 · 20/04/2023 20:41

This made me laugh as my lovely, kind Grandad named all of the spiders in the house "Fred" and would move them to the en-suite bathroom in a spare bedroom that nobody used so my Nan wouldn't freak out.

He'd open the window for them in case they wanted out but he'd leave them in there complete with a bath mat in case they wanted somewhere "soft" to lie 😂

Show quote history

These stories about cold spiders and spiders with their own en-suites have made me smile ☺️

Guy in the OP? Total prick, would not even give him the time of day. Yuck.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/04/2023 21:18

Would be an instant end of crush for me too.
Apart from the casual cruelty, it is such a schoolboy thing to do. A boy in dd’s class in Primary School used to do this as he knew it upset DD.

DowntownKingston · 20/04/2023 21:18

I kill them, it’s them or me.

Plantgeumstoday · 20/04/2023 21:20

He’s shown himself to be heartless prick and it’s definately a huge turn off.

Check2223334 · 20/04/2023 21:20

I have arachnophobia I kill them too , then I cry but not because I’ve killed it… I’m not risking it running off or I will have to sleep elsewhere.

Check2223334 · 20/04/2023 21:22

And I spray my whole house with indorex to try a kill them a keep them away. I don’t care if anything thinks I’m horrible they are awful.

Worldwide2 · 20/04/2023 21:24

I hate them and have killed many by stamping on them, guess im evil 😈

TheBeautifulMoors · 20/04/2023 21:24

I grew up in a place with many, many spiders. No one removed them. Everyone I know killed them as soon as possible. We'd forever be running out with jars.

I don't always kill them here, but don't always remove them either.

For the first time, a couple of weeks ago, I felt guilty killing one. It was very odd, I've not got over it.

This wouldn't put me off the guy, the woman however ugh. I really hate the shrieking, fearing scream many women tend to let out when faced with arachnids. Just why?

Flipperdippers · 20/04/2023 21:26

Another arachnophobe here. Unfortunately I do kill them. I wish I didn't. But I just cannot bare the thought of them coming back. I know it's cruel and wouldn't do it with glee or a silly phrase though. I would have to move house otherwise, though. I lost a spider once in my bedroom and slept on the sofa for a week until I was brave enough to renter. It was a massive spider, but I know it's still totally illogical. I am otherwise the kind of person who tries not to step on ants and helps bumble bees on hot days. I can't explain the fear though. It feels like life or death, and logic cannot reach me

Northbright · 20/04/2023 21:27
  1. I don't like spiders but I really don't like flies so I allow the house spiders to stay on patrol.
  2. It's really bad luck to kill a spider
Oysterbabe · 20/04/2023 21:28

I'm terrified of spiders but this would put me right off him. I couldn't trust anyone who would just casually kill something like that, I feel like there's something wrong with them.