Page 6 | He stepped on a spider

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 21/04/2023 02:06

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I have very severe arachnophobia I can't explain the full reasons why as it is very outing but someone who is no longer in my life and was very abusive used spiders to frighten me when I was a child and it traumatised me. Even now 30 years later I can't bare to watch spider movies, any shows which have spiders or see photos of them as it causes me so much fear and anxiety and I have flashbacks to what that person did to me, so whenever I have a spider in my home I either hoover it up or kill it with my shoe and that is the only thing that can calm my anxiety about them I often have to take a sedative or drink a large brandy to calm my nerves as I get so paranoid there are more. However I don't take pleasure in killing them I just can't cope knowing they could find another way to get back in.

Yeah the guy was a dick for his cruel remark and clearly taking pleasure in killing it but if I had been there I probably would have killed it however I wouldn't have said what he did, for me I just can't cope with spiders small or massive I want them out of mind out of sight knowing this one won't be back. If that makes me a horrible person then I'd rather live with that than a spider.

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 21/04/2023 02:09

My DP refuses to put spiders outside- because he found out that they come inside because they're cold. Soft bugger.

This guy is not a keeper.

Catsmere · 21/04/2023 02:36

He sounds as bad as a bloke I knew slightly (he was dating a friend and conveniently forgot to mention he was married). Restaurant with group of friends, big huntsman appeared on the wall, great fright among a lot of us. This idiot decided to get rid of it by impaling it with a fork. Fright immediately turned to disgust with him.

If this one took pleasure in killing a spider, what else might he take pleasure in hurting or killing? That’s the part that stands out for me, that he enjoyed doing it. Whether it was the cruelty to the spider or shocking the humans, it says nothing good about him.

DragonDoor · 21/04/2023 02:49

I wonder if he would have killed the spider if there was no one else in the room.

He was most likely asked to deal with the spider because he was a man, so perhaps was playing up to the role a bit.

Maybe his mum used to ask his dad to kill spiders or something.

Heimy88 · 21/04/2023 02:49

IAcceptCookies · 20/04/2023 20:27

Who are the 24% who think OP is being unreasonable?

Show and explain yourselves!!

This!

JMSA · 21/04/2023 03:23

It would be a big NO from me.

rainydaysandstormynights · 21/04/2023 03:25

I'd never kill insects for fun, but there are some that I'd rather kill than try to catch and release. I'm terrified of wasps, for instance, and where I live, there are other insects that I believe it is pointless to put outside. They'll just come back in, and they're disgusting pests. I'll kill those, if I can work up the nerve, and I use pesticide to keep them away, as much as possible.

Harmless spiders that aren't huge, I'll usually just shoo away and ignore. (They're fair game if I'm vacuuming up cobwebs, though...) I wouldn't be impressed if someone made a big show of killing a harmless spider, but I can't say for certain that I'd find it such an instant and complete 'crush-killer'.

Limepicklencheese · 21/04/2023 03:54

He'd be gone . Bloody nasty that is.

Woopzies · 21/04/2023 04:04

Fwiw, house spiders that are put in a jar and taken outside die a slow and painful death due to no longer being suited to the outdoors.

Quick, painless death is a favour in comparison to that.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 04:09

A woman asking a man to kill a spider for her is a like a man asking a woman to empty the dishwasher for her. The idea that certain things are a man’s job and women can’t do them and need a man to do it for them should die just like the opposite.

As a woman who deals with her own bugs, killing spiders or ants or mosquitoes or any bug isn’t some horrible moral failing. Catching critters isn’t always practical. By the time you go get the tools, the big has run somewhere else and they aren’t always cooperative with being captured.

If someone is anti any killing of insects, then they can catch and release the insect themselves.

FrostyFifi · 21/04/2023 07:32

I never actually put spiders outside. We co-exist quite happily indoors.

Where I grew up we get poisonous spiders called button spiders and even those got left it peace, it's not like they try and attack you.

RocketIceLollie · 21/04/2023 08:00

It's not a great indicator of himself I have to say.

Re killing for fun, If you say enjoy eating lobster, does that also make you complicit in enjoying killing when you know full well how lobsters are killed?

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 08:04

RocketIceLollie · 21/04/2023 08:00

It's not a great indicator of himself I have to say.

Re killing for fun, If you say enjoy eating lobster, does that also make you complicit in enjoying killing when you know full well how lobsters are killed?

Or any animal or wearing leather. Or killing any insect. All these sanctimonious people who have never vaccummed up a fly or swatted a mosquito or put out ant killer or sprayed a wasp nest....

RocketIceLollie · 21/04/2023 08:23

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 08:04

Or any animal or wearing leather. Or killing any insect. All these sanctimonious people who have never vaccummed up a fly or swatted a mosquito or put out ant killer or sprayed a wasp nest....

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Yeah I agree. Visibly klling for fun isn't a great character, but for the lifeform in question it doesn't really matter if the person killing them enjoys it or not. It's still an extinction of that lifeform.

HeckyPeck · 21/04/2023 09:07

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 08:04

Or any animal or wearing leather. Or killing any insect. All these sanctimonious people who have never vaccummed up a fly or swatted a mosquito or put out ant killer or sprayed a wasp nest....

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The difference for me is that the person OP is talking about took joy in the act of killing itself.

I personally don't eat meat or fish, but I'd feel very differently about someone who cooked a lobster while taking obviously glee in killing it, than someone who did it without glee.

Obviously there's no difference from the lobster's POV, but being someone who gets a thrill from killing is very different to being someone who eats meat and accepts that you have to kill animals to do that.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 09:10

HeckyPeck · 21/04/2023 09:07

The difference for me is that the person OP is talking about took joy in the act of killing itself.

I personally don't eat meat or fish, but I'd feel very differently about someone who cooked a lobster while taking obviously glee in killing it, than someone who did it without glee.

Obviously there's no difference from the lobster's POV, but being someone who gets a thrill from killing is very different to being someone who eats meat and accepts that you have to kill animals to do that.

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We don't know that he got a thrill or took joy from it. He made a comment saying circle of life. He was asked to come over and deal with it, he didn't seek out a chance to kill something.

HeckyPeck · 21/04/2023 09:21

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 21/04/2023 09:10

We don't know that he got a thrill or took joy from it. He made a comment saying circle of life. He was asked to come over and deal with it, he didn't seek out a chance to kill something.

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OP says he laughed.

HereForTheFreeLunch · 21/04/2023 09:26

I have fly paper in my kitchen and hoover up all spiders in sight. I thought it was being clean and tidy. Have I got it all wrong?

I have captured in a glass and put insects outside - but that tends to be bumble bees, daddy long legs, ladybirds and maybe something more... but never spiders.
Am I evil?

Some I squash with my shoes - def squash cockroaches. Is that allowed?

SleepingStandingUp · 21/04/2023 09:27

Suzi888 · 20/04/2023 20:26

I’d presume he isn’t keen on spiders and was too scared to pick the spider up.

Could we have just left the spider alone perhaps?

To be honest I wouldn’t think much of the woman in this scenario either!

Then he should have admitted it, not killed it.
. And op doesn't wanna date the woman, so her attitude doesn't matter

SleepingStandingUp · 21/04/2023 09:28

ChilliWine · 20/04/2023 20:27

My decorator stamped on a ladybird but I still fancy the arse off him. What is it about tradesmen?

To be fair to him he thought it was poisonous and didn't take glee in it. The circle of life stuff makes him sound like a proper prick. Ew.

He was trying to save your life tho

StupidFaces · 21/04/2023 09:30

That would have put me right off. He sounds like a nob with bullying tendencies

AlexisR · 21/04/2023 09:32

NotBloodyCovid · 20/04/2023 23:01

Do people kill wasps? Whats difference?

This. A lot of people who are happy to kills wasps, flies, ants and other bugs seem upset when someone stamps on a spider (even though they hate them?)

It's hypocritical.

I kill insects, they are pests, I'm not apologetic about it. I agree though that the relish/ delight in doing it and his comment would put me off him.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/04/2023 09:32

NotBloodyCovid · 20/04/2023 23:01

Do people kill wasps? Whats difference?

I wouldn't kill a wasp unless it was her or me. .. But ultimately I think it's the glee, the manly haha I've KILLED IT!! that's upsetting

GADDay · 21/04/2023 09:39

Alwaysrushingaroundffs · 20/04/2023 20:22

With glee/relish…

Man I like and have been attracted to for a while…(we’re not together)
There was a medium sized spider on the floor, one of the women in our party (not keen on spiders) asked him to remove it/get rid of it. He came over and stamped right on it with his big foot, sort of scraped his foot back, laughed and said ‘It’s the circle of life’ and walked off.

Aibu to have gone off him, pretty much immediately?

So disappointed

What a twat. Run for the hills.

Treating animals badly is a HUGE red flag.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 21/04/2023 10:05

Mummynew08 · 20/04/2023 22:08

Was this indoors, didn't it make a mess? (Misses the point)

Anyway yanbu, I love spiders and the way they kill flies and mosquitos for us. We also gives ours names but more long-legged names like Curtis and Tallulah and Rex (Fred to me is a short-legged name)

I had George and Mildred the cellar spiders who lived in my bedroom but sadly they've both died off. I have Christopher Bigg'un who lives by himself in my wardrobe (another cellar spider) but he hasn't acquired a life partner yet. Love cellar spiders!