To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

[ladydorito]

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

Although, what I will say is, this is very very early days and you have only had one scan indicating a shorter femur bone. This could be absolutely anything - wrong measurements, shorter legs that aren't a cause for concern etc. But I know as a parent, our minds can always go to worse cases. I just wanted you to know that if you baby does have a limb condition then everything truly will be okay. Keep us updated if you can OP.

I have everything crossed for you for Wednesday OP. ❤️

Sending good wishes for Wednesday x

Will be thinking about you tomorrow. Our friends had this exact experience. It was terrifying and so hard for them. Beautiful little girl who is now 3 and a half. Even after she was born there have been concerns and she has had genetic testing etc and follow up appointments until she was 3! nothing wrong with her, she’s just small! Both parents are short with short legs and arms. She has grown into her head 😂 I suppose though this particular set of features together are unusual for doctors but that’s just the genetic set she got. Hoping you have this outcome too ❤️

Hoping you get nothing but good news tomorrow. My fingers are firmly crossed.

Wishing you well for tomorrow. Tonight will pass, honest! 💐

Please don't worry OP - I know it seems a pointless thing to say but it honestly makes no difference to the outcome other than stressing you out, and you don't need that. The baby doesn't need it either, so worrying will be doing you both no good! Focus on your DH and things that you can change, keep away from anything pregnancy-related on the internet. It's so horrible waiting and not knowing, but you'll get through it. We're all rooting for you and wishing you all well

Hope all is reassuring tomorrow for you

ladydorito i am so sorry you are going through this. I went through a very similar pregnancy a few years ago.i was told from 20 weeks onwards that out little lady was showing markers of a skeletal dysplasia, after I had miscarried her twin a few weeks before that. she was always on the 3rd centile, short femurs, bowing of her arms, prominent forehead and small chest on scans. We were giving the name of one of the skeletal dysplasia and like that we were driven mad with Google. Like yourself every scan I had for the rest of the pregnancy she was always jumping on the screen and always always kicking me,so like that I couldn't understand how something could be wrong . We were prepared for the worst as much as we could as advised by our doctors. However we were extremely lucky our beautiful little lady arrived at 38 wks at just over 6lbs a petite little perfect little baby and now she is a healthy busy 8yr old. The doctors were amazed that everything with her was perfect. I just want to give you some hope and wish you the best with everything in your pregnancy. When we were going through the same situation all those years ago I found it so difficult to find any positive information on the Internet. Will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best 🤞

Thinking of you today OP. I hope you get some reassurance.

Thinking of uou and wishing you all the best. Like others have said, scans can be very inaccurate. My second child measured big and I was told that he would be born 3 weeks earlier than his original due date. The midwife stared that he would be born within 24 to 48 hrs. He came 4 weeks later.

Good luck today xx

Thank you so much everyone, I can feel such positivity as we head into today. I feel calmer than I thought I would. I have severe anxiety/OCD but was explaining to DH yesterday, it's actually normally worse when there's nothing for me to worry about - my brain gets bored likes to create intrusive thoughts and horrible worst cases scenarios to torment me.
When shit hits the actual fan, like it sort of has, my brain actually tends to go into "okay, a real problem, we can do this" mode.
I'll do my best to update when we know more later on. Been told to expect a long afternoon. Baby seems very happy this morning, and I'm hoping they're trying to say "don't worry, mama, I'm going to be fine." Can't say how much all these lovely messages mean. ❤️

Very best of luck to you and especially baby

I hope everything goes well for you today, what a worry xxx

@ladydorito im sure no one is expecting you to report back, unless you want to. So don’t worry about us. Do what you need for yourself and your family x

Sending you so many positive thoughts and hand holds. At my 20 week scan we ended up referred to fetal medicine for something that indicated increased potential for chromosomal abnormalities or structural issues with the heart or kidneys - it was hell on earth, the five days I had to wait for that scan were the worst of my life. All was absolutely fine in the end, they weren't concerned but wanted me to have extra growth scans to keep an eye on things which as other posters mentioned meant that they then kept finding other measurements they were worried about and i kept having to have other tests as they thought he was going to be massive! Everything measured normal at 36 weeks and I couldn't help but think that if we'd never had the other scans no one would ever have thought the pregnancy was anything other than totally straightforward. Got induced in the end due to doctors concerns about size and he wasn't even that big in the end. Basically, it's so scary but please try not to worry too much, they can't tell everything from scans. Really hope everything goes well for you and will be keeping my fingers crossed x

Sending you all the positivity in the world. Good luck x

All the very best and sending prayers. ❤️

Thinking of you today OP x

I hope today brings you more information and can help you understand what's happening (if anything is) its a horrible worry with your children unborn or born.

I wanted to share a similar thing happened with my DC2. His head was always normal, his belly measured 5 weeks ahead and his thigh 2 weeks ahead.
I had 2 growth scans, the 2nd growth scan suddenly it all swapped, his leg seemed to have stopped growing and his belly was no longer enormous but measuring 2 weeks behind. My placenta and fluid was checked as fine. I was 36 weeks and referred back to my consultant, but was told to see my midwife and have a sweep bang on 37 weeks. Sent us spinning, they wouldn't tell me what they suspected, or what their concern was but when a sweep was mentioned at 37 weeks I asked 'So he needs to come sooner than later?' And they confirmed yes they wanted him out.

I went for the sweep (was supposed to see consultant 4 days later) and 14 hours later I had a healthy, 6.12oz baby at 37 weeks. I've no idea what the overall concern was, just that they wanted him out.

I hope today brings you good news and settling information x

My baby was measuring short for femur length too. Had a referral to fetal Medicine. I was very worried but my baby was born healthy except for mild jaundice at 37 weeks, although very small at just over 5lb.
Good luck with everything x

Thinking of you today op

Thinking of you today 🥰 x

We are all with you today OP