To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

[ladydorito]

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

Oh I’m so sorry OP. This type of worry about an unborn baby is in a league of its own isn’t it 😢 please remember the difference between (for example) the 1st and 10th centile is literally millimetres. When I had a growth scan recently the sonographer would take numerous measurements of the same thing as the baby moved about and I could see on the screen each measure produced a different result. There’s a lot of room for error. Even if baby really is on 1st centile that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong particularly if you have short legs as well. 💐

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The anxiety must be huge.

I had growth scans with my second and they estimated his weight as less than 6lb so wanted to induce. He was 8lb 8oz.

Growth scans are not always accurate. Try to keep calm and you will know much more in a couple of days.

I'm sorry I can't offer any advice but just here to send you a big virtual hug. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and feel so bad that you have until Wednesday to wait for hopefully good news. 🤞🏼 all will be okay xx

I don’t have anything insightful to add I’m afraid, but just offering a handhold 💐

No advice as such here either but offering a handhold, try to stay away from Google (easier said than done I know!)

I am offering a handhold too. 💐💐💐💐💐💐

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it must be so hard. Sending you lots of love and luck...I hope everything will be ok x

Have they said they’ll rescan to confirm? We were sent into a panic with a very large head measurement, it went from slightly large to over 99th percentile. I was sent for rafts of tests, put onto diabetes monitoring. Two weeks later they rescanned and the sonographer had taken poor measurements!

I’m very sorry you’re going through such awful worry. Sending you a virtual hug and a handhold. Hopefully Wednesday will bring good news 🌺

Well I had regular scans done by a consultant who was a fetal medicine specialist and his measurements predicted DS would be about 6-6.5lbs at birth… he was 8lb3 at 39 weeks! My point is, these scans aren’t always accurate, even experts can struggle so hopefully you’ll just be yet another who has had an inaccurate scan.

It's going to be the longest 48 hours until Wednesday but until then you've just got to be optimistic and try to not stress as much as possible.
As other posters said, difference in centiles is mm/cm at this stage and there is such user variability. You're short and so likely to have a short baby.
I've had two growth restricted babies, who were delivered small but with big heads, both perfect now.
Keep us updated and look after yourself

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP.
As someone said before, those measurements aren't always accurate. I keep my fingers crossed for Wednesday and send a big virtual hug! 💐

Aw i feel for you. My dd was opposite in her head was measured as really small and they were somewhat concerned but when she was born it was perfectly normal. Try not to worry too much although i know that's easier said than done as i was also extremely stressed.

Echoing what others have said. The next 48 hours will be tough but they will pass, and at that point you'll start to feel more in control; the waiting is the worst part.

As someone who had numerous scans for growth reasons with my dc, the other thing I'd say is that the more they scan, the more likelihood things will be spotted which may turn out to be inconsequential. Modern medicine is great, but this is one of the impacts.... the more you look, the more there is to find. At one point, a growth scan I had pointed to a potential problem with one of the baby's organs. By the time the dc was born, it was confirmed there was no problem at all! If I hadn't had the extra scans I'd never have had that worry because no one would have known there might be a problem!

Try to keep busy, focus on the fact that in a couple of days you'll be armed with more knowledge.

Handhold from me OP. not sure if this'll help but my son measured 7th centile femur and head 98th, he has no issues and is now at school. My second child I was also referred to fetal medicine for something unrelated picked up at a 36 week growth scan, baby now here and all seems well. Hope Wednesday comes quickly for you and you get some good news.

I was told I was having a very small baby, he was 7lbs 9oz at birth and exactly the right length too. I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to go down the rabbit hole of all the things it could be. Please take a deep breath and wait for whatever other tests can be carried out. I had to wait a week to be told that there was probably nothing to worry about and a further 5 until the birth, I know that all sorts of thoughts whirl away in your head, but please try not to Google. Have a big hug from me, I hope you have good news.

Just to add have they checked for placenta insufficiency? I read that if the placenta isnt delivering enough oxygen and nutrients, the baby’s head will grow bigger but the body lags behind as the brain growth is prioritised over everything else. (I’m not medically qualified so hopefully somebody can put me right if I misunderstood it!)

Sending thoughts and please remember these measurements can be inaccurate - perhaps the further tests will be absolutely fine

Obviously noone can tell you for certian that things will be ok. What I will tell you though is that in my experience the scans can be widely inaccurate.

Both my babies had unusally big heads (family trait on both sides - they even referred DD to hospital over it which got me all panicked and in hidsight was ridiculous) and because of that - and their dads long legs - the scan calculations came back with both of them being estimated above 10lbs. DD's scan that put her there was less than 24 hrs before she was born at 7.5lbs. So when they told me I should have a C-section because DS was so huge based on scan measurements I took that with a pinch of salt and had a complete text book labour with him which lasted less than 4 hours, he was just under 9lbs.

Hi OP, I am very sorry you're in this situation. I've had bad news at scans as well and it's terrifying. My only suggestion is to stop scouring the Internet, it's not helpful unless you have a precise diagnosis. The information you have is going to bring up loads of confusing and partially contradictory results which will only make things worse. Stay away from the Internet, try not to think about all the worst-case possibilities, maybe talk to a friend about how you feel. I hope you will get reassuring news on Wednesday!

Oh. @ladydorito I could have written this about my little boy! Very similar to. @Jericha I had late scans and femur length dropped from 20th to 4th. E tile with 95th+ head and abdomen so lots of markers for dwarfism.
we were so worried he’d be unwell, turns out he’s just a little the short legged side and totally fine.
the consultant did say to us with all due respect neither of you are giants! (I’m 5’ 2” and DH 5’ 9”)
I’m now 36 weeks with a little girl measuring along the exact same centiles and am a lot calmer. It’ll be a long 48 hours but honestly these can be totally normal measurements xxx

Hand hold for you, but please, step away from Google.

The referral will give you specialists who can take the time to do more, in depth scans, and to support you.

I'm 5ft 3, with a 6ft+ husband. The height difference is all leg - if we sit next to each other, my head is up past his shoulder, but my legs only go just past his knees, so the "built like mum" option may well be what you're seeing here.

Thank you so so much everyone, it's very strange but I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends about it all at this stage, I feel like I want to just hide away with DH until we know more.

@Coffeeandbourbons yes it's absolutely crossed my mind particularly after the hematoma which bled pretty much non stop from 6 weeks to 13 weeks, my understanding is that can affect placental efficiency but my Doppler and blood flow scans have come back as normal - I think they will take a closer look on Wednesday though.

@Coffeeandbourbons that's correct - I was told exactly the same thing! The brain is prioritised if the baby isn't getting sufficient nutrients, so the body may be small and very skinny in comparison.

This ,unfortunately nobody on here can reassure you ,and Google will only make you more worried 😟
Best wishes for Wednesday I hope you hear some positive news.