Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
Coffeeandbourbons · 19/04/2023 12:49

fingers crossed for you OP, really hope you get the news you want xx

maya48 · 19/04/2023 13:04

Very best wishes for you today OP.

One of mine was measuring small at 38 weeks and they told me she might be 5lbs at 40 weeks. She was born at 40 weeks and 2 days and was 8lbs. Scans are not always accurate.

TheKeatingFive · 19/04/2023 13:09

Oh you poor thing. Try not to worry, it's so hard to get accurate measurements in utero. Hope all goes well today.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 19/04/2023 13:11

Thinking of you and hope all goes well.

GrandTheftWalrus · 19/04/2023 13:33

Hope everything goes okay today.

I had extra growth scans with my 2nd as apparently she was on the 2nd percentile at 32 weeks. But then next scan she was on the 10th. Then back to 2nd. Eventually born at 40+4 at 6lbs 15oz. My 1st was 7lbs 2oz. I just make small babies. And it shows scans aren't accurate.

pillowpuff · 19/04/2023 13:36

Sending you luck OP 🍀

alltoowe · 19/04/2023 13:39

Good luck ❤️❤️❤️

agriefobserved · 19/04/2023 13:40

My DSis had an early planned C-section due to her baby having an enormous head compared to body. I forget what centiles they were.

However, when her DD was born she was a totally ordinary size, both head and body. Growth scans can be wildly inaccurate.

At least under Fetal Medicine they can monitor you and your baby. It's not fun; I was under Fetal Medicine from 28-36 weeks with my first and it was stressful. Lots of handholding is available for you in this thread. Hope all goes well 💗

maddening · 19/04/2023 13:43

It is so hard not to worry in this limbo period - so hard not to imagine every single possible problem it could be at the same time - j can only imagine how overwhelming that is.

octoberfarm · 19/04/2023 13:44

Thinking of you today, @ladydorito. Hope everything is going okay Flowers

Wallabyone · 19/04/2023 13:45

Thinking of you ❤️

PinkPlantCase · 19/04/2023 13:46

Thinking of you OP 💕

spiderlight · 19/04/2023 14:03

Thinking of you this afternoon.

dwightschrutebeets · 19/04/2023 14:05

Wishing you all the luck for your appointment xx

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 19/04/2023 14:14

All the best for today op! Flowers

DollieBantrysPantry · 19/04/2023 14:20

Thinking of you OP and hoping it’s good news 💕

freyamay74 · 19/04/2023 14:42

Xxx

Star81 · 19/04/2023 14:50

Thinking of you, hope today isn’t too long a day and you get some answers x

custardbear · 19/04/2023 14:56

No advice just wanted to say I hope all went well today.

Justbekind2yourself · 19/04/2023 15:11

Thinking of you. 💕

PonkyPonky · 19/04/2023 15:37

Just another person coming on to reassure you that growth scans are not as accurate as they make out. I was told my baby would weigh between 10-11 pounds and he was born a couple days later at 6lb6oz. I know you’re not going to be able to stop thinking the worse, we all do that even during uneventful pregnancies. But try to remind yourself that the growth scans have a lot of room for error and there is still every chance you are growing a perfectly healthy baby

Kolakalia · 19/04/2023 15:49

Thinking of you OP.

Comtesse · 19/04/2023 15:50

No more goggling but just think of all these lovely women sending your and your lovely baby good vibes and compassion Flowers

Braveheart35 · 19/04/2023 16:08

Wishing you the very best x

hotpotlover · 19/04/2023 16:12

Hi, I had two births and in both cases the growth scans were EXTREMELY inaccurate. Don't worry xx