To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

[ladydorito]

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

Handhold for you, OP

I was sent for an emergency scan at 35 weeks as my baby was measuring small for fundal height, and for femur length.
She was born on her due date at 8lb 2oz. It turned out she had her head tucked under and was in an unusual position (which corrected itself over the next weeks).

I know how worrying this must be for you. Try not to google, it can be very tempting but will no doubt add to the anxiety.
Wishing you all the best for Wednesday. Thinking of you x

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I haven't experienced the health conditions you mentioned however at my 36 week growth scan we found out that the baby had a heart condition after having a smooth pregnancy. Fast forward w years and our son is happy and healthy following some surgeries.

We were offered an amniocentesis which I would recommend as it's the only way to get conclusive results, if you are able to? There are always options even at this late stage. Please make sure you discuss these with the consultants and also get referred if possible to counselling through your maternity unit. I can't imagine what you are going through, the wait is horrible but all I can say good luck xx

I understand the worry and stress OP, we were in and out of fetal medicine for the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy with DD2 (different diagnosis to you). But honestly, try and carry on as normal until you've seen fetal medicine. At 20 weeks we were told they weren't sure if DD would live and after seeing fetal medicine, although she does have a condition, the diagnosis was much better and she's now a happy 1yo. Fetal medicine can see your baby much better and they should be able to tell you exactly what's going on. Most importantly, do not blame yourself (like I did!), this isn't anything you have done and if there is something, it's nobody's fault!

Sorry to hear you are going through this - just to add to the comments re inaccurate scans, I had a growth scan at 28 weeks where everything was fine / told my baby had long legs. About 10 days later I went in for reduced movements, scanned again and told my baby was IUGR and I couldn't leave hospital. Had emergency c section a week later. So it doesn't seem to be an exact science

I'm sorry you are going through this OP

How was the 20 week scan? We'd TTC 4yrs. When I finally got pregnant, the NIPT showed Trisomy 13 (patau syndrome). I was only 12 weeks, but even then multiple things could be seen on the scan. NT 6.4mm, large hernia, facial cleft and more. I obviously hope all goes well for you, but I'm here if you need to talk- feel free to PM me if preferred. I chose TFMR.

IF the news isn't good, then ARC might be helpful. Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) | Support for Parents and Professionals (arc-uk.org)

Remember that you didn't do anything wrong and this is not your fault. xxx

Hand hold

Handheld ❤

Just to reiterate what others have said, scans are far from an exact science. I was told at a scan that my babies would be 5lb, 1 week later they were born at 7.5lb and 8lb… I hope this time passes quickly for you OP

How awful OP. My stomach dropped just reading that because it brought me back to my pregnancy, our longed for baby after 8 years. I was a wreck the whole way through anyway after previous miscarriages but at 28 weeks I was told my daughter was on the 99th centile which would be unusual for my family because we tend to have small babies. They thought they'd have to induce due to her size.
As it were she was born at 40 weeks and weighed 7lbs.

Even the most skilled sonograpgers get it wrong all the time. I have everything crossed that your little baby will be OK.

I was scanned at 39 weeks and told that my baby was very large and had a life threatening problem that would need immediate surgery at birth and the prognosis of success was 50% and that my child would need operations all through their life.
My child was induced and when born weighing over 10lbs was taken to another hospital (without me) for surgery!
Very luckily the surgeon insisted on new scans and there were no problems at all. They put it down to the baby being very squashed in utero and giving an inaccurate set of scans.
Stop reading Google and don't give up hope!

If the only thing they are basing concerns on at this stage is growth scan measurements I would try not to get overly worried (I’ve been there and I know how hard it is not to, I remember sobbing and sobbing with worry). Growth scans are notoriously unreliable and there’s a strong investigative enquiry approach in fetal medicine (if they find something that’s unusual, they’ll keep probing, even if the most likely outcomes is everything is fine).

Sending big hugs, I understand it will be a stressful and anxious time. Hopefully everything will be all positive on Wednesday and give you some reassurance x

Handhold from me too x

My (hard won but hard to follow) advice would be not to "borrow " trouble. Ie until you are told that there is definitely a problem and what it is, try not to worry about the unknown.

The medical care of children including unborn children is very cautious - if the medics think there may be a problem they investigate- that leads to a lot of false positives.

I went through this 2 years ago, femors were on the 0.3 % and head was measuring well into the 90s. I'd to wait a week for another scan and I was in bits the whole week. Rescan was fine and my ds was well within normal ranges. Turns out the Dr who did the original scan didn't know what the hell she was doing. Ds is 18 months now , he's small but within normal range and no sign of any syndrome etc. I never let anyone but the proper sonographer give me a scan throughout the rest of my pregnancy. It's very traumatic but I hope you will have the same outcome as me and it's all been an error.

I was told at 31 weeks that my DD had an abnormally short femur. I am 5'2" and my DH is 5'10" but he has very short legs.

She was born at 34 weeks and is now a very sporty thriving 10 year old. She is small but in proportion.
Sending an unmumsnetty hug. It's hard to deal with the worry. X

I hope Wednesday brings good news OP.

I had to have weekly growth scans with my DD as she was worryingly small… but she was born at 36 weeks weighing 6lb, so the worry and extra scans probably weren’t necessary or accurate!

I sincerely hope it’s just an off measurement or a smaller bodied baby.

Oh OP, I had this in my first pregnancy (im also 5.2). It was horrid. I was terrified. All was well, my ds is now 11 and he is completely healthy, plays basketball.

stay off google. DM me if you want to talkp

Hugs

My dd measured short, small head in our case too, she was small born, she remained on the small side and is 5'2 now as an adult, her legs are short but it means she's an excellent rugby player.

We got told 5th percentile at the 18 week scan, lots of extra tests, genetic tests, got told about downs, various other scary things ... all completely wrong.

Keep it in perspective, yes your child could have an issue but there's also a good probability they are just small like you. Take care

I’ve not read the whole thread but I did read all your posts Op.

I had the same issue during pregnancy, dwarfism and femur length was brought up at about the same stage of pregnancy. I even posted on here at the time, in my March 2008 babies board.

He is now 15 and towering over me. The measurements were wrong.

Obviously, I can’t possibly say what is happening with you but I just wanted to reassure you that mistakes are often made (if that’s reassuring?)

I wish you all the best. Keep posting on here, it’s a fabulous place if you stay away from AIBU

Handhold in this worrying time for you.
My last pregnancy I had to have extra scans because baby was measuring small and particularly small head and proportionality large stomach. I was very worried and fell down the rabbit hole. You can guess what it said.
Baby was born over 8lbs and now head is proportionate so either scans are grossly inaccurate and induce unnecessary worries or some babies just grow as and when they will.

The advice I'm going to give you is the advice I can never follow which is stay away from doctor Google, use a notebook to write down questions and make sure your partner is there for any explanations.

I hope.you get some good news soon. take each step as it comes.
X

Try not to worry too much OP. My DD triggered all sorts of alarm bells because she was tiny and other complications seemed to be arising. It was hideous, I ended up admitted to hospital and neing given steroids and nearly being induced at 33 weeks. It turned out that despite my husband and I being on the tall side of average, our DD was just a tiny little dot. She’s still tiny, but very healthy, at 5. When I was on the antenatal ward there were lots of ladies being monitored and checked for things. Most of them went on to have happy healthy babies.

Sorry you are going through this, I'm sure the wait is agonising

Try and keep yourself busy until Wednesday perhaps? Clear out a wardrobe or drawers or similar, just to give you a different focus?

Oh gosh what an awful worry.

I think hankering down until your appointment is the best idea. No need to voice anything to anyone until you know what you are dealing with. Please, please, please stay away from Google until you know more.

Wishing you well and hoping for good news for you on Wednesday.

Another person here adding to the ‘growth scans can be wildly inaccurate!’ posts above.

My baby had femur length measuring on the 3rd percentile from the 20 week scan onwards, and his head measurement was huge. I didn’t get referred but was worried about exactly the same things as you. He was also estimated to be a low birth weight.

He arrived a week early weighing 8lb 14oz and was the bloody 99th centile for height, his legs were ridiculously long! I was shocked that they’d got it so wrong.

I know this won’t completely put your mind at rest, but I hope it helps you to know others have gone through the same. Ultimately, the chances of the baby having a relevant health condition are far less likely than them being healthy.

Wishing you the very best x