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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
xabia · 15/06/2023 07:05

Congratulations!
This type of thread is just the best of Mumsnet!

TheCheeseTray · 15/06/2023 07:24

Lovely news. Welcome to the world Edith - it’s a beautiful place 🌎 💕 🤗

newmummy16 · 15/06/2023 07:25

Congratulations mum and dad 🎉

xanthippe8 · 15/06/2023 07:34

So beautiful, congratulations!

Bowbowbo · 15/06/2023 07:36

What a beautiful baby girl - many congratulations! Xx

redteapot · 15/06/2023 07:36

Congratulations ❤️ Hadn't seen your thread when you first posted but now sat crying 🤣 Enjoy your lovely girl xxx

Violetcrush · 15/06/2023 07:39

Congratulations OP, she’s beautiful

Bansheed · 15/06/2023 07:41

Oh, that brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing her pic, she is gorgeous!

Welcome to the world, Edie!

Miceeatinglollypops · 15/06/2023 07:41

Ooooo she’s absolutely gorgeous!! I’m so glad for you. Enjoy lovely Edie! (& lovely name btw)

Itsanotherhreatday · 15/06/2023 07:44

Ohh look at those little cheeks!

Amazing news and congratulations.

wellstopdoingitthen · 15/06/2023 07:47

What a wonderful update, thank you for sharing the pictures of your gorgeous daughter. Congratulations to you and daddy ❤️

FlamingoQueen · 15/06/2023 07:50

She is beautiful. Massive congratulations! Flowers

Tidsleytiddy · 15/06/2023 07:54

Beautiful baby. So pleased for you ❤️

bumblebee2235 · 15/06/2023 07:59

Pottedpalm · 15/06/2023 06:35

@bumblebee2235
see update! Baby is fine, and beautiful!

Thank you! Just looked 🥰🥰 so wonderful! I love happy endings xxxxx

CoffeeLover90 · 15/06/2023 08:00

ladydorito · 14/06/2023 22:26

Hello everyone! I wanted to share a little happy update.

Our magic girl Edith Elizabeth (or just simply Edie) made her grand arrival on Saturday at 38+5. She is an absolute dream thus far even if her entrance was a tad more dramatic than her mummy's nerves could stand at times.

Edie is healthy, a little on the small side at 6lb 4oz but perfectly proportioned. We had quite a long postnatal stay of 3 nights for feeding support and because I needed a lot of extra medical care post labour and she had lots of checks too - no one could find a single issue with her legs!

Hope you get the same outcome @Babyisi - I can absolutely promise she is worth every single second of the worry we went through and now our real adventure begins!

Oh she is breath taking. Congratulations!

Xtraincome · 15/06/2023 08:01

What great news to read this morning OP! 🌄
Congratulations on such a bundle of joy.

VestaTilley · 15/06/2023 08:05

Aawww!! Yay! She’s gorgeous! Congratulations OP. And good luck for the next few months. I promise, it gets easier.

What a wonderful outcome ❤️

VestaTilley · 15/06/2023 08:06

By the way, don’t worry about her being small. I was 6lb 6, and am now a hulking great 10 stone woman of 37 need to get back on a diet

Zarataralara · 15/06/2023 08:08

Congratulations, she gorgeous.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 15/06/2023 08:08

Amazing news, OP. Congratulations! I had a 5lb8oz baby and he's now a bang on average 4 year old.

chellie2021 · 15/06/2023 08:17

Massive congratulations to you! I hope you’re both doing great! Edie is beautiful, best of luck with your recovery! ❤️

cocksstrideintheevening · 15/06/2023 08:17

Oh wow, congratulations! She's beautiful

Hoppyhops · 15/06/2023 08:20

@ladydorito Massive congratulations to you all! Your post made me cry some happy tears (I’m 38+4 so seeing happy, healthy babies is even more of an absolute joy than normal). I’m so very happy for you!

IrnBruAndTwiglets · 15/06/2023 08:20

We had this with our now 1 year old, except we didn’t get referred to foetal medicine. At a growth scan for something else at 32 weeks they measured legs and found they were on the 1st centile, head I can’t remember but on the larger side, me with disproportionately short legs. I worked myself up into a right state and a consultant came round, giving me just enough time to read about serious dysplasia’s and making it even worse. The consultant was amazing, framed it that me and my partner aren’t tall people with long legs, cord blood flow looked good, plus there were no issues with baby’s organs that can show up with some of the worrying conditions.

My advice is stay away from Google, it’s full of worst case scenarios that just panic you. I really hope everything goes well at foetal medicine. We got some more growth scans and it really helped to see consistent growth even though her legs stayed on the same centile, you could ask for these for reassurance if they don’t offer them. Sending lots of positive thoughts ❤️

IrnBruAndTwiglets · 15/06/2023 08:22

Oh that serves me right for not paying attention, she’s here!! Oh she’s absolutely beautiful, what a cutie. Congratulations OP! xx