Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 14/06/2023 23:07

What an amazing update! Congratulations on your beautiful new daughter!

Davros · 14/06/2023 23:07

😢 💐

OhDoh · 14/06/2023 23:11

Love need! She is beautiful. So glad it all worked out fine! Hope you manage to get some rest soon x

Americano75 · 14/06/2023 23:13

Oh, look at her! Massive congratulations.

Enko · 14/06/2023 23:14

She is beautiful Congratulations

intrestedvic · 14/06/2023 23:14

My son who is now 3 had this at 20 week scan the whole pregnancy remained in scans every 2 weeks to check femur and he also had ego something bowels. He's very small for his age but he's completely normal Infact he could speak and walk before other children his age. He does have some health issues (a prolapsed rectum) and he gets hayfever but apart from that he's fine and I don't think his small growth has anything to do with it.

its so scary be kind to yourself

Crazydogmumma · 14/06/2023 23:15

What a gorgeous precious little poppet she is. Well done @ladydorito - enjoy you beautiful little daughter.

Itsadogone · 14/06/2023 23:15

@ladydorito awww welcome to the world Edie! She is beautiful 🥰

Arthursmom · 14/06/2023 23:17

Amazing news and great name (my mothers as well) hope you get a good rest. She is just perfect xx

greenflamingo · 14/06/2023 23:17

Congratulations. Welcome baby Edie!

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/06/2023 23:18

That is amazing news. Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I love her name! 💐

WillaHermione · 14/06/2023 23:18

Congratulations. I’m so pleased to hear your update.

Nothingisblackandwhite · 14/06/2023 23:19

If all you have to go by now is a single sonograther opinion I would take it with a pinch of salt . There are lots of them who are nit that great at their jobs . My best friend has the sam issue as you plus the baby waist was to big and femur was extremely small . Baby was induced and burn absolutely fine , none of those measurements were correct . My boss was induced at 36 weeks because teh baby was 9 pounds , baby as born 5 pound 1 oz and needed time at the nicu . Get a second opinion , personally I would get a private scan and would nit mention the concerns and go from there

Nothingisblackandwhite · 14/06/2023 23:21

My apologies , just sa wren update . Your baby girl is beautiful! Congratulations.
I honestly Wou do hope sonograthers stopped scaring people unless they are 98% sure of something . You had so much stress you did nit need .
enjoy your baby

Ireallydontwantto · 14/06/2023 23:26

Congratulations! Gorgeous girl, Lovely happy ending xxx

Babyisi · 14/06/2023 23:26

@ladydorito congratulations ! What a bundle of joy and happiness! Thank you so much for reverting- it means alot and males me feel positive. Sending best wishes and love to you and your LO. 🌼

Ireallydontwantto · 14/06/2023 23:28

Nothingisblackandwhite · 14/06/2023 23:21

My apologies , just sa wren update . Your baby girl is beautiful! Congratulations.
I honestly Wou do hope sonograthers stopped scaring people unless they are 98% sure of something . You had so much stress you did nit need .
enjoy your baby

Completely agree

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 14/06/2023 23:28

She is beautiful. Congratulations xx

Pinkespressomachine · 14/06/2023 23:28

When I began reading this thread I had no idea it would turn out so sweet - huge congratulations!

MercurialMargot · 14/06/2023 23:29

Beautiful name, and a truly beautiful baby. Congratulations!

They'll always find some way to worry you, before they're born, during birth, and right through their lives 😆😆

Goldbar31 · 14/06/2023 23:29

So beautiful. Congratulations!

BigCheekBitch · 14/06/2023 23:30

Bloody hell, I can't express how wonderful it is to go from holding my breath reading through the first post to seeing your update minutes later.

Got me all teary eyed. What a beautiful Mumsnet baby! Congratulations to you all! And I'm obsessed with her name too, Edie, what a gorgeous girl she is.

You squeeze her tight from me please Flowers

Chocolatesandroses · 14/06/2023 23:31

Congratulations love the name , xx

xPissflapsx · 14/06/2023 23:33

As other people have mentioned, the measurements aren't always right, my ID twins were born a month early because there was a size difference..... Half an ounce it turns out.

LaLaLouella · 14/06/2023 23:37

What a beautiful baby! Congratulations Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread