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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
Imnotahoarderreally · 15/06/2023 01:37

Congratulations. Baby Edie is gorgeous. X

LemonSwan · 15/06/2023 01:39

Aww she is gorgeous! Congratulations 🥳

My boy was a shorty too. 3rd percentile femur. He is also gorgeous and thankfully healthy 🥰

247achybreakyheart · 15/06/2023 03:04

Awwwww @ladydorito huge congratulations! I’m thrilled for u & ur husband ♥️♥️ Eddie is an absolutely beautiful little lady- welcome to parenthood- wishing your new family of 3 all the happiness, health & joy for the future xxxxx

HasAnybodySeenMyTambourine · 15/06/2023 03:34

Oh she's so beautiful. Thank you so much for the update and enjoy those newborn snuggles.

Emelene · 15/06/2023 03:37

Congratulations OP! Beautiful baby and beautiful name too! Flowers

Flatandhappy · 15/06/2023 04:23

Congratulations, she is absolutely beautiful.

MsDastardley · 15/06/2023 04:24

Congratulations, she is absolutely gorgeous. She looks so alert 🥰

SnorkelingInHawai · 15/06/2023 04:44

Ah so happy for you and what a beautiful baby. She looks so alert too.

Nanaof1 · 15/06/2023 04:46

CONGRATULATION! She is adorable and beautiful! 👏💖

rainbowstardrops · 15/06/2023 05:07

Congratulations! She's absolutely beautiful! Flowers

Tessisme · 15/06/2023 05:31

I saw your thread back in April. I'm so glad you had a lovely healthy baby. She is adorable. Great name!

Livebythecoast · 15/06/2023 05:47

What a fantastic update! She's a cutie and so beautiful. Welcome to the world Edie ❤🌷

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 15/06/2023 05:47

That is wonderful news. Congratulations!! Flowers

Beachdaysandsandypaws · 15/06/2023 06:03

Congratulations. Edie is absolutely beautiful. Enjoy your little girl.

Dontcareforthehaters · 15/06/2023 06:07

OP, I really feel for you. I am currently 32 weeks along and we had a soft marker picked up on our 13 week scan. (NT fold measurement was much bigger that it should have been. We were referred to a genetics counselor. From that point on, time seemed to come to a complete standstill. It was absolutely awful and incredibly isolating. We were unable to have amniocentesis test because of complications in my previous pregnancy but this would have been a very good to have done. Instead, we had in-depth scans every 2 weeks where the sonographers actively looked for markers. Nothing else has been found. We also did an NIPT test to conclude if we were high risk of genetic/chromosomal conditions. The NIPT ruled out some common conditions.
Something that comes to mind is at the time of being offered amniocentesis, the genetic counselor said that scans are not always accurate, meaning that we shouldn't worry too much about the findings from 1 scan with bad results. Hopefully you can go back and have some repeat scans. I know that this is awful for you and your family, as it was for ours. For what it is worth, the fact that no markers were picked up in your earlier scans is promising.
Look after yourself and I hope for the very best outcomes for you and your family.

Dontcareforthehaters · 15/06/2023 06:09

Dontcareforthehaters · 15/06/2023 06:07

OP, I really feel for you. I am currently 32 weeks along and we had a soft marker picked up on our 13 week scan. (NT fold measurement was much bigger that it should have been. We were referred to a genetics counselor. From that point on, time seemed to come to a complete standstill. It was absolutely awful and incredibly isolating. We were unable to have amniocentesis test because of complications in my previous pregnancy but this would have been a very good to have done. Instead, we had in-depth scans every 2 weeks where the sonographers actively looked for markers. Nothing else has been found. We also did an NIPT test to conclude if we were high risk of genetic/chromosomal conditions. The NIPT ruled out some common conditions.
Something that comes to mind is at the time of being offered amniocentesis, the genetic counselor said that scans are not always accurate, meaning that we shouldn't worry too much about the findings from 1 scan with bad results. Hopefully you can go back and have some repeat scans. I know that this is awful for you and your family, as it was for ours. For what it is worth, the fact that no markers were picked up in your earlier scans is promising.
Look after yourself and I hope for the very best outcomes for you and your family.

I've just seen the update! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Binglebongledingledangle · 15/06/2023 06:09

Congratulations! She's beautiful ❤️

RampantIvy · 15/06/2023 06:32

Aw. I love a happy ending.
Many congratulations. She is absolutely beautiful.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 15/06/2023 06:32

Congratulations! She is beautiful 😍

bumblebee2235 · 15/06/2023 06:32

Don't panic yet, I measured the same and was in fetal medicine. In my case it turned out she wasn't growing due to an issue with the placenta. Besides when I was induced all their measurements were wrong and she was a lb under their prediction. Now she's caught up (still has a huge head but no problems) and now long legs 😂

So try to wait for the solid facts, you could drive yourself insane thinking of all possible issues. At the moment none of its guaranteed xx

Pottedpalm · 15/06/2023 06:35

@bumblebee2235
see update! Baby is fine, and beautiful!

FabFitFifties · 15/06/2023 06:42

My family member spent her whole pregnancy being tested as baby might have all sorts of things. Just settled at 32 weeks after lots of tests and they then started worrying about size - saying baby wss enormous. They made her have a c section at 37 w as baby was looking to be getting on for 12lbs at birth if left full term. Baby was perfect and 8lbs 2oz when born. Unbelievably inacurrate measurements. So sorry you are having all this worry OP and thinking of you and baby.

londonrach · 15/06/2023 06:52

Congratulations xxxx

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 15/06/2023 06:58

I had growth scans for a big baby and was told no they wouldn't induce on time as actually he will be 'only' around 7lb. He was born 10 days overdue at 11lb 10ozs so my advice would be wait and see, growth scans are not massively accurate!!
Good luck with keeping cool and hydrated in this weather!

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 15/06/2023 07:00

Ahhh just seen the pictures - congratulations on your gorgeous baby, she looks happy and healthy 💖

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