Help settle this minor disagreement involving bed sharing protocol

[LimitIsUp]

Husband and I usually sleep separately (less disruption, better sleep) but had to share a super king size bed for a few nights recently. Last night I was woken up twice due to his hand being on my pillow inches from my face - I woke him up on both occasions and asked him to move his hand and he angrily ranted on both occasions about how selfish I am, and that he wouldn't wake me if I disturbed him.

So, would you wake your partner if his hand had flopped on to your pillow? I flip my pillow over during the night when one side gets too warm so I wouldn't have been able to do that with his hand resting on it

His elbow presumably bends so just move his hand.

Which would have woken him anyway

So, would you wake your partner if his hand had flopped on to your pillow?

No, I wouldn’t.

Why did you wake him up? I don't blame him for being pissed off.

This isn't serious surely?
Of course if you share a bed then you might move around that bed, and body parts might move over the middle line.

Why wake him? Just move his hand. It shouldn’t wake him from a deep sleep.

No I would have moved it or slept round it

If dp moves me in my sleep it registers and wakes me slightly but a lot less a wake then being woken up via voice/tapping to follow an instruction

He is a light sleeper - it would wake him anyway, but sure next time I will move it and see if that's less disruptive

I can't believe you woke him up for that - I would be pissed off too.

You can't control what your body does when you're asleep

I’d move his hand rather than actively wake him up (then if he wakes anyway pretend I’m asleep or did it in my sleep).

No, I wouldn’t have woken him.

No I wouldn’t have woken him, just moved him and then pretended to be sound asleep if he woke up! It’s pretty hard to not sleep away from each other in a superking, you both need to move your pillows further apart.

No I would have just moved it, or left it and not turned my pillow.

Interesting because I am quite a neat compact sleeper and move marginally during the night. In a super kingsize bed I'm not sure why he needs three quarters of the bed

No, of course not. He’s asleep, he’s not doing it on purpose. No wonder you sleep separately!

Exactly - and I can't wait to get back to that

I would have just turned over and moved pillow when I wanted to OP. Just because you're a 'neat compact sleeper' doesn't mean everybody is. You're unreasonable and I say that as someone with their own bedroom.

What would you do to him if he snored? Inflict bodily harm?

Our pillows are far apart - his are on the far right and mine on the far left.

nope.

He does snore and I leave him be

A near compact sleeper 😂

Thats the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a while.

Lol he’s asleep ffs, he’s not doing it on purpose, no I wouldn’t feel the need to wake DH up, I’d just move his hand/arm, no wonder he’s annoyed!

Eh? Snoring is more likely to disturb your sleep than his hand on your pillow, weird!!

I find building a cushion barrier between the pillows is quite a good strategy!!

I genuinely am a bit mind boggled that you think it's fine for him to manspread over 3/4 of a huge bed and surprised at the poster who wouldn't turn over the pillow when too hot and would continue to be uncomfortable for fear of disturbing him.

We have to continue sharing a bed (probably a smaller one) for the next few days as we are going away - so if the same scenario occurs I will move his hand rather than outright wake him up (although I suspect he will wake up anyway)