Help settle this minor disagreement involving bed sharing protocol

[LimitIsUp]

Husband and I usually sleep separately (less disruption, better sleep) but had to share a super king size bed for a few nights recently. Last night I was woken up twice due to his hand being on my pillow inches from my face - I woke him up on both occasions and asked him to move his hand and he angrily ranted on both occasions about how selfish I am, and that he wouldn't wake me if I disturbed him.

So, would you wake your partner if his hand had flopped on to your pillow? I flip my pillow over during the night when one side gets too warm so I wouldn't have been able to do that with his hand resting on it

I sincerely hope this is a joke, however I think OP might take it seriously

I don't think one can joke about something as serious as a hand on a pillow.

In the half-light it could easily be mistaken as 'Thing' from the Addams Family.

I'm sure this is a joke but you know that not all men DIY and not all women can't DIY yeah?

I agree with this.

Of course someone can be considerate of another person while sleeping.

He sounds like a tit.

Can well imagine you sleep apart.

Waking him would be the least of it if any man was that selfish sharing a bed with me, and taking up 3/4 of the bed🤨😁.

Here was me being blissfully unaware that this was one of the great fights to dismantle the patriarchy. Who knew that these men were deliberately expressing their entitlement and hatred of women while asleep?

Alternatively, given that OP has already decided that they sleep apart from her husband regularly and that this was a short term arrangement and that a sleeping person generally isn't exactly in control of their body movements she should probably just have put up with it rather than trying to falsely make it some feminist hill to die on.

@Eleganz

given that OP has already decided that they sleep apart from her husband regularly

Why have you decided it was OP’s decision rather than a joint decision?

a sleeping person generally isn't exactly in control of their body movements she should probably just have put up with it

How was she supposed to sleep with his arm pushing down her pillow? Or is her sleep less important than his and it’s a case of the woman having to put up and shut up? I’m glad OP woke him up twice. Bet he didn’t do it a third time.

Yes I know, but as it was the husband who was causing the problem I feel he is the one you should provide the solution, with direction and guidance from his wife, of course.

😂

Of course someone can be considerate of another person while sleeping.

Well, that's sorted out all snoring problems then! Snorer, just be considerate!

Sorry OP, I was looking for a name change.

Thanks!

I put a folded up pillow between mine and my DH’s pillows in our super king size bed as I’ve had enough of man hand pillow spread.

@LimitIsUp if you have to go away again (assuming this was hotel?) I would book a twin room or family room with sofa bed so you don't have to be all weird about pillow encroachment

My DH often strokes my face when he is half asleep- I don't know if he is aware/awake enough to know he is doing it, or if it's just something he does subconsciously in his sleep? I do think it's quite sweet when he does it, but have to gently move away after a few minutes so it doesn't feel repetitive on my skin IYSWIM

I might start a thread about the Catspreading in my bed - now that's someone who takes the piss! No idea why I put up with it. I'm already feeling guilty about turning the hot blanket off over Summer as she will miss it...

OH does this kind of flying elbow move, you have to watch for the signs or risk getting thumped in the head

She'd have to be doing something really antisocial though for me to wake her up though

Turn over your pillow if you want and if it happens to wake him up, then it happens to wake him up. Don’t wake him up for violating an imaginary boundary line.

Apparently I end up sleeping diagonally and attack try to push him out of bed using my 'unnaturally pointy elbows' if he tries to move me.
He deserves a good night's sleep so this down the middle of the bed has helped https://www.dunelm.com/product/firm-support-body-pillow-1000001575

Yabvu op. Very unreasonable.

😂

Now I know where the primary school aged kids who do things like line rulers up on the boundary between the desks and then tell on each other for daring to cross the boundary get it from.

What do you think a shove is? Like I’m talking about a gentle shove during the night, it’s not “abusive” enough to wake someone up. Get a fucking grip.

Jeez. Some people really don't like being called out. A shake is not a shove fgs.

Well a shake is multiple shoves I’d never do anything as abusive as shake someone in their sleep. Monster 😂😂

I am really certain that this marriage will not be lasting long enough for another trip away...

🙄 Well it's lasted 24 years so far and still going strong. How long have you been married?

Some posters just revel in making idiotic comments 🤷‍♀️

How is it manspreading? I'm. Woman. I sprawl all over the place in my sleep. Am I manspreading too? It's not intentional. You clearly dint understand what man spreading (or sleep) actually is.