Help settle this minor disagreement involving bed sharing protocol

[LimitIsUp]

Husband and I usually sleep separately (less disruption, better sleep) but had to share a super king size bed for a few nights recently. Last night I was woken up twice due to his hand being on my pillow inches from my face - I woke him up on both occasions and asked him to move his hand and he angrily ranted on both occasions about how selfish I am, and that he wouldn't wake me if I disturbed him.

So, would you wake your partner if his hand had flopped on to your pillow? I flip my pillow over during the night when one side gets too warm so I wouldn't have been able to do that with his hand resting on it

Do you actually like him? How childish of you to move his hand! Seems like the issue is you!

Now adding not being a “neat compact sleeper” to the list of things mumsnet has given me a complex about 😂

OP I would have just moved his arm/hand, waking him up was an extreme solution and a bit unfair

Not sure why it's ridiculous @saltired. It's a simple description

I just can’t imagine waking someone up because you might want to flip your pillow at a later time.

It’s just incredible to me that people bother getting married and living together when these are their daily interactions.

Might try that

I’m adding it to my CV. Can’t decide if it should go in skills and attributes or notable achievements?

I wouldn’t have moved his hand if it wasn’t impacting you at the time, but equally I would have turned the pillow when I wanted to regardless.

🤣 just move his hand gently!

How the fuck do you know what you look like when you are asleep? Do you get people to review you after you sleep together, like Uber?

If so, your husband is definitely giving you 0*.

I bedshare with my 6 year old...... she takes up more than 3/4's. We both love the night time snuggles.
Of course he was cross to be woken up for something he has no control over

As you're asleep you don't know how you sleep only how you lie to fall asleep and move as you're waking....you might talk all night
Nothing anyone does in their sleep is in their control. It might really annoy him that you keep turning your pillow while you are awake....but sleep together and you get used to how people sleep by not sleeping together you have not become accustomed to each others habits or that by moving you are in someone's space in a month that would change.
Pretend it's a new relationship and snuggle up.

@saltired - wow, you sound angry. Calm down dear

I know because whenever I wake in the night I am in the same position I fell asleep in

I’m not angry, I just find it hilarious that you think waking someone up because their hand moved when they are asleep is a normal thing to do, and that you would NEVER have the audacity to move your hand when you are asleep due to your “neat compact” sleeping position.

You truly sound like you’d be fun at parties 😂

You gently move his hand. You don't wake someone up. That's a dick move

This describes my husband, he's selfish and sees nothing wrong with taking over 2/3rds of a super king.
I'm a light sleeper and he disturbs me constantly. I just shove him off my pillow.
If you sleep with a considerate sleeper you won't understand, I'm guessing most of today's commenters do.
I 100% get why you don't want his body parts in your space when sleeping.

Thanks @strawberry2017 - someone who can relate

People can't be held responsible for things they do in their sleep. That's ridiculous. It's nothing like manspreading and you were the selfish one here. You should apologise. Next time put a coupe of pillows down the centre of the bed to try and give his sleeping body a prompt and if needed move his hand.

Tbh @saltired I definitely wouldn't be swerving you at parties

I think I would feel a bit pathetic really if I woke them up to say “excuse me your hand is on my pillow”

As others have said move his arm. If he wakes, he wakes you are both entitled to uninterrupted sleep. Is this why you sleep separately.

This.

OP!

Just move his hand and flip the pillow. Of course YABU.

Move it when you need to turn your pillow - leave it there till then.

You seem to equate being a tidy sleeper with being morally superior.

Actually laughing at the ‘inconsiderate sleepers’ comments. I doubt they intentionally decide to hog the bed knowing the shit they will get for it

I would have moved his hand but then mine twitches and leaving it there would risk my being hit in the face.