Help settle this minor disagreement involving bed sharing protocol

[LimitIsUp]

Husband and I usually sleep separately (less disruption, better sleep) but had to share a super king size bed for a few nights recently. Last night I was woken up twice due to his hand being on my pillow inches from my face - I woke him up on both occasions and asked him to move his hand and he angrily ranted on both occasions about how selfish I am, and that he wouldn't wake me if I disturbed him.

So, would you wake your partner if his hand had flopped on to your pillow? I flip my pillow over during the night when one side gets too warm so I wouldn't have been able to do that with his hand resting on it

I genuinely am a bit mind boggled that you think it's fine for him to manspread over 3/4 of a huge bed

How do you propose he controls what he does when he's unconscious?

Is he 8 foot tall and 20 stone? How on Earth did he take up 3/4 of a super king bed? Sounds improbable.

You sound extremely resentful of him to be so put out by a roving sleeping hand.

YANBU, he sounds like a PITA.

DH and I share a standard double and even though DH is overweight, his hand has never flopped on my pillow!

The fact that you are in a super king and he is still manspreading in to your side shows what an entitled prick he is.

If DH purposely woke me to move my hand I would be annoyed!! Twice! If he gently moved his pillow or me and I woke up fair enough... Then again we're cuddly sleepers so moving around happens.
Surely if you woke him gently by moving he wouldn't know you woke him?? My DH is the lightest sleeper but when I shift around and accidentally wake him he does really know what woke him, he's too dosey just goes back to sleep

No of course not.

It's quite easy - he moves over the bed leaving a couple of feet clear space behind him

No I wouldn't have woken him, I think that is unfair. It isn't like he can control what he does when asleep.
Just move the hand if you really feel that strongly opposed to your DH being anywhere near you.

Thanks for seeing my pov. He isn't a bad bloke so it's not that he's entitled as such, but he could consider my comfort a bit more

Exactly

A hand on her pillow would depress / push down the pillow. I couldn’t sleep like that.

You were incredibly selfish to wake him up twice for that. He can’t control where his hand moves in his sleep, you woke him up deliberately. No wonder he was furious. If it made you that uncomfortable such that you couldn’t sleep, I would have jusr gently moved his hand .

Or some rolled up towels…

You woke him up to move his hand off a pillow? And it wasn't touching you?

Fucking ridiculous. And selfish.

If you usually sleep separately, then he’s used to taking up as much space as he likes. Usually the longer you sleep together the more considerate /aware you become of not encroaching etc.

Just move your pillows when you want, or shove him gently back over. My DH is also likely to have a grumpy half-awake rant but meh, sometimes he’s got to suck it up.

I don’t think those words mean what you think they mean

Wouldn’t really bother me. I know I’m also a bit of a sprawler so DP and I usually wake up in some kind of tangled mess anyway. It would bother me more to wake up and find he’d stolen my pillow or something, but not a hand on it.

You definitely sound like a neat and compact person OP.

YABU. If you woke me like you did your husband, you'd get a smack!

You're correct @saltired - to be crystal clear I would be giving you a wider than wide berth at parties

You sound delightful.

I don't know how he'd end up that close to you unless intentionally in a super king size bed, they're pretty big, almost like being in 2 separate beds if you want to be.

Domestic violence isn't really a thing in our relationship

Exactly - which is why he is unreasonable

I'm baffled. If you despise him that much divorce the poor bloke and throw him back in.

I am a messy and large sleeper. Anyone else?