To Want To Slap The Loudmouth That Spoilt Our Special Day Out?

[Ifrozethehoumous]

DH and I planned a very special and expensive train trip to mark of silver wedding anniversary. We had been looking forward to it for ages and felt really excited when we started our journey. Everything was lovely and as expected, the food was superb and the staff on the train were attentive and professional. Unfortunately, for much of the day there was a small group of people with one particular woman who was raucous and loud with a laugh that would have rivalled Sybil Fawlty. She had obviously had too much to drink and didn’t give a damn about anyone else around her. While we had a really lovely day, it was hard to ignore this woman’s appalling behaviour. I’m amazed nothing was said to her. I would have complained to her myself but unfortunately during the journey I discovered she is from the same village as us and I didn’t want any future repercussions. AIBU to have wanted to slap her? How can anyone behave so badly?

Did you read the OP?

She had obviously had too much to drink and didn’t give a damn about anyone else around her.

You have to be sanctimonious or unpleasant to be disturbed by a braying, loud, sweating, gobby drunk. There are also many references to people's experiences of both men and women who fit that description.

Sorry that should have read 'You don't have to be'.

Obviously you need to let it go in your head but I really understand how the anger can continue for some time. It’s the degree to which drinking too much is normalised in our society. Likely the woman wouldn’t be aware or even remember the antisocial behaviour she displayed. In AA one of the steps is to make amends to those you have damaged whilst drunk. Of course this can’t operate with strangers.

A lot of the usual bullshit from MNs who criticise the OP. It’s like a blood sport for Keyboard Cowards. Morons.

You don't know why they'd serve alcohol with a nice meal?

Being over loud can be really annoying for others, sadly.
I wouldn't say anything .generally as you don't know if the person has hearing problems, etc so it's difficult.

But i think most people have definitely come across very load people (men and women) who are often full of their own self importance, taking over people, ridiculous ott laughs, etc. rather than just being a very loud person in general.

I have worked with the latter and, although sometimes difficult on the ears if not done with malice. The former however if incredibly annoying and can spoil other people's time.

I was assuming the former rather than the latter in the OP's case.

In most cases by the time someone is approached due to their noise, it generally means the noise is very much OTT and beyond the normal levels of noise,

I doubt people are asked to quieten down if talking in a normal indoor style voice. It's usually because they are talking over loud, screeching or shouting, constantly. Unfortunately there are plenty of people full of their own self importance who do believe that everyone else wants to hear their conversation.

It's like the women at the theatre who had to be removed for their singing and screeching, it's that kind of person generally who can't believe others want to hear them, though that was obviously on the worst side of things. But it's often the same type of people.

God forbid anyone should have a good time in a shared public space.

Next time, book a seat in the quiet carriage.

@MargotBamborough you seem rather cross about this thread, suggest you go off and give 'Court & Spark' a whirl, maybe eat some chocolate, have a spritz of Rive Gauche ;-)

lmao what? Who uses a train as a “special day out”? Surely it’s what you do after the train journey that makes it special, as unfortunately you can’t control people in confined spaces especially if alcohol is on board

I’m pretty stunned by the number of PPs who display a total disregard for others. I never speak loudly in shared spaces e.g.: trains, museums, restaurants - because everyone is there to enjoy themselves, and to facilitate that we should all be aware of basic courtesy which includes not making excessive or unnecessary noise. That is obviously situation dependent - on a train or at a restaurant it means not shouting/screaming/shrieking, at a museum it means speaking in hushed tones.

Because I practice that courtesy towards others, I also get irritated if there is an individual or group making excessive noise - it is distracting and grating.

If everyone had the attitude of “it’s none of your business”, “try having fun”, the idea of an enjoyable day out would become impossible as everyone would treat those shared spaces as if they were the only ones in them.

I assume you don't realise what kind of train this event was.

It is annoying, but could have been much worse.

DB s ex OH laugh was akin to a braying donkey.
And a very elderly relative used to shout (like an unexpected sneeze) 'yahoooo' (long b4 the company) many people dropped/threw in the air whatever they were holding (my DM refused to take her anywhere after an incident in a supermarket with an employee and a large display 😁)

I assume it was a proper dining experience on a train which can last for a few hours, often on a special train or steam train, being served a special meal with drinks.

Something like the Pullman Express or one of the special steam train journeys. They can be very expensive, several hundred per person.

In California we went in a wine train in Napa. The train and meal were the actual event. People were dressed up, they were seated as if in a restaurant and served good quality food and exceptional wines in the journey.

I don't think the OP was on an LNER train between two towns, sat in some economy seats with her food balanced on a tiny drop down tray!

You should have booked the quiet carriage

You did read the OP, didn't you? This was a special event, with allocated seats, and there certainly won't be a "quiet carriage".

And in any case, the quiet carriage is a total nonsense.

The kind of people who are the reason we need a quiet carriage are the same people who don't give a shit about the fact that they're in the quiet carriage.

If people like that had any respect for others in the first place, all the carriages would be quiet enough.

More fool you for not saying something.

Yabu, unless it was so loud that no one else enjoyed it. We all have different tolerance levels though-maybe a private dining experience would suit you better

Hayfeverseasonalready · 11/04/2023 18:36
I speak loudly and have an unusual laugh. Does it make me rude? Aslong as the woman wasn't swearing and causing a nuisance I don't really understand your anger. Was she being deliberately malicious?”

If you know you have a loud voice, do you try to speak more quietly?

We were in a hotel room once, trying to sleep, it was gone midnight and there was a man talking next door. He was having a conversation with his companion, but he was so loud and penetrating we could hear every word. We could barely hear his companion. DH went and asked politely him to tone it down three times, explaining we had a long drive the following day, to no avail. In the end he went and spoke to the night manager and asked to be moved, but the hotel was full. The night manager had a word with the man but that didn’t help either. Total nightmare. They did take our dinner off the bill when we checked out though.

How dare a person have fun and … God forbid … LAUGH on a special occasion? YABVU. Stay indoors if the sound of another person is enough to drive you to violence.

Realising the world doesn’t revolve around you also means you should tone it down and not ruin other people’s space with a loud voice and a raucous laugh.