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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

583 replies

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:34

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 09/04/2023 07:37

So they haven’t offered to reimburse you at all? That’s very cheeky indeed!!

MauveCow · 09/04/2023 07:38

Have they offered to reimburse you?

user1494050295 · 09/04/2023 07:39

I would be seriously pissed off. The continuous excuses too. Who does this? Have they offered to pay you back with an apology? If not, sorry to say that’s a deal breaker

Youngatheart00 · 09/04/2023 07:39

Presumably you get a meal allowance through work but this doesn’t include alcohol? Can you expense any of it? Tbh I think it’s a pretty shoddy thing for them to do but it would have been easily resolved by them offering to transfer you the money / give you the cash, once you said weren’t / couldn’t expense it. Did they even offer?

unless there are other problems, I’m not sure I’d break a friendship for this though

Frozendaquiri · 09/04/2023 07:41

Tell them what they owe you.

OlympicProcrastinator · 09/04/2023 07:41

Unless they immediately asked for your bank details to pay you back, I’d drop them as friends. Who needs friends like that?

LadyWithLapdog · 09/04/2023 07:42

So cheeky. What a downer, instead of remembering the NY trip as a fun time you also met your friends it’ll now be this. Ask them to pay you back then give it some space and decide if you want to keep them as friends.

Paq · 09/04/2023 07:42

Just tell them what they owe you!

TomatoSandwiches · 09/04/2023 07:43

If the story was genuine they would have text you and offered to pay before you figured it out.

I would text each and tell them.what they owe you and then drop them, they're your " friends " it has nothing to do with your DH.

dietcokelime · 09/04/2023 07:43

That's horrendously cheeky! They should have text you when leaving the hotel to say "they immediately charged it to the room, let me have your details to transfer the money to" although I can't imagine them being unable to actually pay if they wanted too.

BlueKaftan · 09/04/2023 07:44

They basically stole from you. I would dump them both.

Ragwort · 09/04/2023 07:44

Why should the OP 'expense' part of the meal ... that is fraud.

If there was a genuine misunderstanding your 'friends' should have immediately apologised and transferred the amount to your personal bank account. This is terrible behaviour from friends, sounds as though they are being deliberately cheeky and trying to get free drinks out of your company... and at the risk of you getting into trouble. I would seriously consider whether I wanted to be friends with people like that. How old are they? Sounds like they have no idea how company expenses work.

MichelleScarn · 09/04/2023 07:44

Horrible people, I wouldn't bother with friendship again, as they've been so rude.
They probably think they've just been 'a bit cheeky' and absolutely will have discussed it between themselves and decided you're the 'baddie' in this.
Twats!

Original poster
annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:44

Apologies for not making it clear! They asked how much it was as they had forgotten. I sent them the photo of the receipt (just in case they had doubts). Haven't had an actual response yet, apart from that 'reaction' you can do nowadays in WhatsApp. I got a shocked face emoji.

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 09/04/2023 07:46

I'd have asked for the money back instead of ignoring the texts. Ditch them, it's like they stole from you.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 09/04/2023 07:46

They didn't have chance to say something?

Not when they got the receipt? Or when they added 20% tip? Or when they wrote your room number? Or when they signed it?

All if those sound like perfect opportunities to say something!

CFs indeed. Anything other than an immediate apology and paying you back would be a friendship ender for me.

Testina · 09/04/2023 07:47

Good friends who genuinely assumed your work would pay for it, and that you wouldn’t mind, and were apologetic - fine.

Anything else - fuck ‘em.

StaySpicy · 09/04/2023 07:49

Twats. A 😲 at a bill from just a few days ago (one assumes) that they apparently can't remember the total of? Bollocks. There's no way I'd forget spending $140 on drinks and puddings. In a 5* hotel. At my friend's expense.

Agree they need to pay you if they want the friendship to survive. Otherwise, all you're going to think of when you meet up with them is the fact they essentially conned you out of some money.

EVHead · 09/04/2023 07:49

I would message them your bank details and say “That’s £70 each (or whatever the current exchange rate is), thanks.”

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 09/04/2023 07:49

I’m not sure I’d break a friendship for this

I would absolutely end a friendship for this! They stole a, not inconsiderable, amount of money from OP. The story about "oh waiter put it on your room automatically, we didn't get a chance to pay" is bullshit! They had to sign, i.e. forge, OP's name. It's disgusting.

Randommother · 09/04/2023 07:50

When you settled up, did you just pay for your lunch or for theirs too? If you paid for theirs then I can see why they may have thought it was being funded, and charged the additional items that they saw as part of the same lunch to the bill. That said, as soon as you called them on it, they should have offered to pay!

DustyLee123 · 09/04/2023 07:50

They need to pay you back, then you dump them. They are not friends.

NashvilleQueen · 09/04/2023 07:50

Ask them for the money. It's that simple.

They tried it on hoping you wouldn't notice or assuming it would go onto your company's tab so you wouldn't care. But you didn't give them permission and you're out of pocket. So ask them. If they don't pay never see either of them again no matter what.

Original poster
annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:51

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 09/04/2023 07:46

They didn't have chance to say something?

Not when they got the receipt? Or when they added 20% tip? Or when they wrote your room number? Or when they signed it?

All if those sound like perfect opportunities to say something!

CFs indeed. Anything other than an immediate apology and paying you back would be a friendship ender for me.

I guess my question is... would not even mentioning it be a friendship ender? I think they deliberately kept quiet about it. Who forgers to tell someone they charged $150 worth of drinks and desserts to someone else?

I suppose everyone slips up/forgets/makes mistakes. That's fine.

But to follow it up with excuse after excuse - makes me feel like I'm the one that's being unreasonable and making a mountain out of a molehill is largely my gripe.

OP posts:
UnsureSchool32 · 09/04/2023 07:53

Just ask them to reimburse you. End of. If you see them again then fair enough. But I’d just put it down to poor judgment from them thinking your company would pay. But I’d deffo be getting my money back!