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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

583 replies

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:34

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

OP posts:
BoneBrothByDayDonutByNight · 09/04/2023 08:14

Totalwasteofpaper · 09/04/2023 07:59

"I KNOW! I was like 😱 as well. Hope the champagne tasted amazing 🤣
My bank details are X. Can you confirm once you've transferred it. Work consider it a personal expense so it comes out of my pay check"

This is literally the perfect message.

AliceMcK · 09/04/2023 08:14

So you treat them to lunch in a 5* hotel and then they sneakily celebrated your generosity by indulging in champagne and desert after you left and charged you for it? You don’t need friends like that.

Sodd · 09/04/2023 08:14

‘Hi x and x, I didn't agree to you putting items on my tab, so best reimburse me. My account number is xxx and sort code xxx, account name xxxx. It’s £75 each’

CaveatmTOR · 09/04/2023 08:14

You should never have paid that part of it.

JellyfishandShells · 09/04/2023 08:15

Cheeky blighters ! The first excuse is ridiculous , that the waiter charged it to your room before they could do anything - it could easily have been voided off by them immediately paying, tip included. They just thought ‘expense account, she’s already treated us, she’s not paying out of her own money, we can have another’ and took your acknowledgement that they were staying on as permission to charge it.

A bit of a misunderstanding/assumption maybe but once you queried it with them they should have apologised and offered to refund you, even if you then decided to let it ride.

I had this assumption when I worked at for a company where there was lots of travel and lots of entertaining, that this gave me access to a magical pot of money that I could freely use privately. Some colleagues did but, apart from the ethical issue of using the company money fraudulently, I’ve seen it used as ammunition to be used against employees when they are otherwise unhappy with you. Known as using the the Al Capone tax move.

I took over a department at a new job which I was told was ‘messy’ financially. All kinds of horrors and one of the easiest to see was that my predecessor had made himself very popular internally by splashing out on staff birthday drinks and meals and then expensing it all to client related entertainment. As it was consultancy, everything got recharged to named clients and one day a major client decided to ask for detailed receipts with the bill. Took me months to sort out the very deep mess of cross charges and outright fraud.

Schnooze · 09/04/2023 08:15

Real friends wouldn’t let you be out of pocket.so depends if they apologise and pay it.

Tbh I can see how it happened if they thought they’d asked you if it was ok they stay and had more drinks,

Sodd · 09/04/2023 08:16

BoneBrothByDayDonutByNight · 09/04/2023 08:14

This is literally the perfect message.

Show quote history

Yes this

May09Bump · 09/04/2023 08:16

ZekeZeke · 09/04/2023 07:53

They have a copy of the bill.
Next step you reply to the shocked face Emoji response with your bank info.

Definitely this.

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/04/2023 08:16

For me the fact you had to find out on check out rather than via them earlier is the deal breaker. If you treated them to lunch fine but that clearly ended when you left. I’d be chasing them up for the money but the friendship is over.

TitoMojito · 09/04/2023 08:16

I would be telling them to pay you. $140 is a lot of money to expect your friend to pay for you!

hallodarknessmyoldfriend · 09/04/2023 08:17

I would expect them to apologize and reimburse you. If they don't then I think the friendship is over.

I am shocked they didn't even mention it before you brought it up. Rude.

FlamingoQueen · 09/04/2023 08:17

I would say that you paid the bill out of sheer embarrassment (not wanting to cause a fuss), but it came out of your private account, not the company a/c. You could say that you understood they were trying to be cheeky, but as you paid, give them your bank details. If it had been $20, that is completely different to $140 and there is a big difference between ordering a cheeky glass of wine and champagne and pudding. Make them pay!

RudsyFarmer · 09/04/2023 08:17

It sounds like they were thinking your workplace was paying. Not you. Make sure you get the money off of them now they know you’ve had to cover that bill yourself.

Cherrysoup · 09/04/2023 08:17

Simple message back with your bank details. They knew what they were doing.

CrystalCoco · 09/04/2023 08:20

CFs of the highest order.

I don't believe a word of their story and I'm not sure I'd want to stay friends anyway so where's the harm in sending them your bank details so they can reimburse you - it's not looking likely that they'll offer (CFs again!) so I'd furnish them with the details and see what happens.

Sorry this happened to you, people never fail to surprise - especially where money is concerned!

friskybivalves · 09/04/2023 08:20

WaltzingWaters · 09/04/2023 08:10

“I thought 😱 too! But I hope the champagne was delicious. What a treat! Here’s my bank details.”

Absolute CF’s of the highest kind! All the excuses are definitely a reason to end the friendship (once you have your money back).

Yes - I'm curious to know what the value of their extra spree was relative to the lunch you had all enjoyed together. I think it is relevant. If the original bill for the five star hotel lunch was around the $500 mark - as it can easily be - then their extras were not so far out of the ballpark and I might be able to swallow that they'd think it might be a continuum ( especially if you were all a little drunk by then). If it was a $150 lunch bill that they then doubled, that's very different.

And it still doesn't forgive how they have behaved since, which should be an immediate, god, no, we are so paying it back.

As for the posters saying you should be taking this up with the hotel: mortifying. The prospect of drawing attention to this sketchy behaviour by your two mates on the corporate account any further... Hmm

Xarrie · 09/04/2023 08:20

I would reply in the WhatsApp "yeah, you're not the only one with a 😱 face. Here's my bank details for you to settle your bill"

MsRosley · 09/04/2023 08:21

Your 'friends' stole $140 from you and your DH thinks this isn't a big deal? As the old saying goes, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Veryverycalmnow · 09/04/2023 08:21

Please ask them to pay- I'd be shocked that they were making excuses instead of offering to pay. I mean, even if it was a bit of drunken over- excitedness, admitting their mistake is surely the only decent option. How rude of them.

Rosula · 09/04/2023 08:21

Do they realise you have to pay this personally? If so, they should certainly have offered to reimburse you as soon as they became aware of that.

Curseofthenation · 09/04/2023 08:22

I would ask for the money directly and make a decision on the friendships based on their responses.

Lovelyring · 09/04/2023 08:23

I have had a miscommunication about payment before, which was very awkward, but once it came to light I certainly offered to reimburse them immediately.

Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 08:23

They should have asked for your bank details once they knew your company wasn’t paying. Rude

OldFan · 09/04/2023 08:24

If the original bill for the five star hotel lunch was around the $500 mark - as it can easily be - then their extras were not so far out of the ballpark

@friskybivalves I don't think so. Even if the lunch was 500, their addition is not far off a third as much again.

sst1234 · 09/04/2023 08:26

Are you going to do anything about it. Otherwise you are acting like a doormat, sorry.