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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

583 replies

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:34

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 09/04/2023 07:53

Obviously it's horrendously cheeky and I'd not be speaking to them again, but also I'd not have paid the hotel as they don't have YOUR signature against the charge, and you're the only person whose name is on the room.

Ultimately anyone could have heard you say your room number and played the same trick after you'd left.

ZekeZeke · 09/04/2023 07:53

They have a copy of the bill.
Next step you reply to the shocked face Emoji response with your bank info.

Globules · 09/04/2023 07:56

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:51

I guess my question is... would not even mentioning it be a friendship ender? I think they deliberately kept quiet about it. Who forgers to tell someone they charged $150 worth of drinks and desserts to someone else?

I suppose everyone slips up/forgets/makes mistakes. That's fine.

But to follow it up with excuse after excuse - makes me feel like I'm the one that's being unreasonable and making a mountain out of a molehill is largely my gripe.

Show quote history

If you believe their story that they thought you were inviting them to stay for drinks at your expense, then they thought there was nothing to tell.

If they've come up with excuses and are sounding put out you've mentioned it, then it's a friendship ender.

If it's "I'm so sorry. We completely got the wrong end of the stick. How much do we owe you?" then it's not a friendship ender imo.

UnicornBoom · 09/04/2023 07:56

Sod that. I'd have just argued with the hotel and told them that someone else had charged their bill to my room, it wasn't me and they can't charge me. The last hotel I stayed in asked to see my room key when charging anything to the room. Otherwise surely anyone can walk in to a hotel and say 'yes charge that to room 1 please'.

Totalwasteofpaper · 09/04/2023 07:59

"I KNOW! I was like 😱 as well. Hope the champagne tasted amazing 🤣
My bank details are X. Can you confirm once you've transferred it. Work consider it a personal expense so it comes out of my pay check"

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 09/04/2023 07:59

I’m raging! I absolutely would send them your bank details and the final amount in whatever currency you have been charged and ask for the money.

if they refuse to payday say you’ve asked for CCTV for the signature and will be taking it further.

your two “friends” stole from you wilfully. This is not a friendship worth saving.

Everydayimhuffling · 09/04/2023 07:59

You may as well push for the money: I wouldn't want to be friends with them after that anyway. It's them who have lost a friendship over their behaviour, not you asking for the money they stole.

HomeTheatreSystem · 09/04/2023 08:00

You are right, they are taking the piss. It most definitely is a friendship ender. Can they really be that stupid as to think you or your company would cover their bar bill? I'd press for the money back and be done with them.

Hillrunning · 09/04/2023 08:00

So when yoy originally gave out your room number to the waiter, was that for just your part of the lunch or were you paying for everyone? If for everyone I can't see how in some people's minds they were fine to carry on with drinks and dessert. It isn't the way I'd think but some might.

Just send them your bank details.

Rollerpiggy · 09/04/2023 08:00

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:51

I guess my question is... would not even mentioning it be a friendship ender? I think they deliberately kept quiet about it. Who forgers to tell someone they charged $150 worth of drinks and desserts to someone else?

I suppose everyone slips up/forgets/makes mistakes. That's fine.

But to follow it up with excuse after excuse - makes me feel like I'm the one that's being unreasonable and making a mountain out of a molehill is largely my gripe.

Show quote history

It would definitely end my friendship with them. This is awful cf behaviour and shows a total disregard for you, like a couple of teenagers not grown women. End the friendship and if they ask why? Tell them because you are not mates with cf’s who abuse you and take the pee.

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 09/04/2023 08:02

Ignore the cctv, just reread they are not denying it

Poppyblush · 09/04/2023 08:02

What a pAir of cf’s!! Make them pay as they aren’t proper friends.

heidbuttsupper · 09/04/2023 08:03

Ask for the money back then ditch

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/04/2023 08:03

Totalwasteofpaper · 09/04/2023 07:59

"I KNOW! I was like 😱 as well. Hope the champagne tasted amazing 🤣
My bank details are X. Can you confirm once you've transferred it. Work consider it a personal expense so it comes out of my pay check"

This. I would not be forgetting it.

Rumblingwellies · 09/04/2023 08:05

I would have refused to pay for it. The hotel should not be allowing people to charge items to your room. I hope you have put in a complaint to the hotel.

I would be telling your "friends" they are thieves and I expect them to pay me back. Then I would want nothing more to do with them.

Imicola · 09/04/2023 08:06

Personally I'd ask them to reimburse you. If my work ended up paying for some friends drinks and food it would be classed as frauds and I'd be fired, and i would also let them know that. Sound like a couple of total chancers.

Scepticalwotsits · 09/04/2023 08:07

At a hotel they are normally pretty strict about being charged back to a room, so for the hotel to have done that, I would assume the waiter felt it was a continuation of the same meal or they convinced them otherwise.

Either way if I was the friends and got another drink thinking they other friend had it covered (if we believe their story) it would just be a drink and not a bottle of Champaign. They knew what they were doing at that point and we’re trying it on.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 09/04/2023 08:09

Ask them to reimburse you. You or the hotel aren’t responsible for their greediness.

EyesOnThePies · 09/04/2023 08:10

Ugh, what chancers!

And really awful if they thought they could get it paid on your expenses. Dishonest.

But I would have gone straight to ‘your extra drinks ended up on my bill, can you ping me the £ please? Thank you!” And send them the receipt.

WaltzingWaters · 09/04/2023 08:10

“I thought 😱 too! But I hope the champagne was delicious. What a treat! Here’s my bank details.”

Absolute CF’s of the highest kind! All the excuses are definitely a reason to end the friendship (once you have your money back).

Alleycat1 · 09/04/2023 08:12

Even if your friends thought you had okayed them having more drinks on your tab ordering champagne and dessert to the tune of £150, plus adding a 20% tip, is still taking the mickey and not what real friends would or should do.

AutumnIsHere21 · 09/04/2023 08:12

I’m on the fence here. Are you significantly better off than friends? Do they have a job where they travel for work? I have a couple of friends who might try a similar trick thinking it was all paid by the work magic money fairy or because “xxx is loaded and won’t mind” (xxx is not me!). The kind of people who get a treble vodka and red bull if someone puts some money behind the bar at a wedding etc. It’s a character flaw (IMO) but not a deal breaker for friendship. I’ve got them pegged now with regard to this sort of thing and we get on fine if all financial transactions are transparent. I also have my flaws. As long as you get your money back, I’d get past it as a one off.

I really like @Totalwasteofpaper message above. Asks them for money back without being friendship ending.

BoneBrothByDayDonutByNight · 09/04/2023 08:13

Did you tell them work isn’t covering this bill. If they didn’t offer to immediately pay, it’s not a misunderstanding. There’s planet on which I’d pay $140 to avoid awkwardness. Nor would I expect a friend to pay for my drinks/desserts when they weren’t with me! Unreal.

You need to just send bank details and be very clear you cannot claim this cost from your company. Maybe make a joke “Love you guys but not enough to cover this myself! Here’s my bank info.”

whitesnowflake · 09/04/2023 08:13

They are a pair of chancers and friends don't do things like that! I would make it clear that the company won't expense that and they need to send you the money to cover their bill. Although they should have already offered to pay for it.

pinkySilver · 09/04/2023 08:13

Agree with others - keep it simple.
Just ask for the money in a matter of fact way. Accept it was a misunderstanding - they thought they'd take advantage and that the bank would pay and not notice. Just ask for it to be paid.

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