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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

583 replies

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:34

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

OP posts:
Dibbydoos · 09/04/2023 08:26

It's €75 each, they should pay.

Id respond with

I know 😱. Please can you Ask send the money to your bank account? Thanks a lot

They are OOO and had no right to charge to your room.

You could also query with hotel who can't charge things to your room willy-nilly either.

Whichever way you look at it, your relationship with your friends is soured somewhat by this.

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 08:27

So you treated them to lunch/drinks that were served before you left? If so, and they they asked to stay, it sounds as though they thought you were able to cover the whole thing.

I agree the waiter clearly thought you'd okayed it, if he charged the drinks and dessert to the room.

Did you make it clear it was you personally paying for lunch, not your company?

Inthesamesinkingboat · 09/04/2023 08:28

The shocked face when you sent through the picture is a piss take. They would’ve seen the amount when they signed for it, so even if they forgot the exact amount they’d know the rough ball park.

they knew exactly what they were doing. Gone in and ordered the most expensive drink at your expense. Ditch them

Original poster
annaherrings · 09/04/2023 08:29

I am back in London. Hence my 7:30am post. They are still there and due to come back next week. So I don't expect to hear from them until morning NY time (-5 GMT).

But have already messaged with my bank details. I suspect the response will be telling. I already don't have high hopes - and from previous communication; I can tell they think I am BU. Hence why I posted on here as it was on my mind!

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 09/04/2023 08:29

annaherrings · 09/04/2023 07:51

I guess my question is... would not even mentioning it be a friendship ender? I think they deliberately kept quiet about it. Who forgers to tell someone they charged $150 worth of drinks and desserts to someone else?

I suppose everyone slips up/forgets/makes mistakes. That's fine.

But to follow it up with excuse after excuse - makes me feel like I'm the one that's being unreasonable and making a mountain out of a molehill is largely my gripe.

Show quote history

They knew the minute they signed that bill and added your room number to it that they were sponging off you. I am guessing they feel they'll get away with it since you seem to be leaning towards "letting it go".
What they did was fraud, pure and simple.
I would make sure they KNOW you expect that money to be paid back to you immediately. If they thought they were going to need to pay the bill themselves, I am betting it would not have included dessert and champagne. They knew exactly what they were doing and their excuses are as lame as their ethics.

Iwantthepenthouse · 09/04/2023 08:30

Just ask them for the money, it's really simple. They've taken the piss yes but you haven't actually directly asked them yet have you?

How they respond is what would determine keeping the friendship going for me.

Eddielizzard · 09/04/2023 08:30

They probably thought you wouldn't find out and your company would pay so no harm done. Not something I would do, but they thought they could get away with it. Now they've been found out, the only response is 'so sorry, of course we'll reimburse you!'. That they haven't is very telling. For me, this would be unacceptable. I would send my bank details, but the friendship is probably over. If they did reimburse you immediately, they're in with a chance. Otherwise not.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 08:31

Sceptre86 · 09/04/2023 07:46

I'd have asked for the money back instead of ignoring the texts. Ditch them, it's like they stole from you.

Agree.

You aren't losing a friendship. It was over when they pulled this trick

Paq · 09/04/2023 08:32

If they pay up immediately and have no other form for cheeky fuckery I'd be inclined to forgive.

googlejourney · 09/04/2023 08:32

Iwantthepenthouse · 09/04/2023 08:30

Just ask them for the money, it's really simple. They've taken the piss yes but you haven't actually directly asked them yet have you?

How they respond is what would determine keeping the friendship going for me.

She's sent them her bank details for reimbursement.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 09/04/2023 08:33

They probably thought 'ahh well, work pays for all her expenses so a few more drinks won't hurt'

I used to stay away with work a lot and friends thought I had the life of reily and got to eat and drink on the company all the time, what they didn't know is I got a really small allowance, I could spend on food and any alcohol had to be paid for by me. I expect your friends thought the same.

Still CF and way out of order in my book.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/04/2023 08:33

As the signatures on the cheques did not match the signature on the room, you should have insisted the hotel remove the items from your bill. They would not have a leg to stand on. Otherwise anyone could go drink and eat jn the hotel and sign the costs off to any room.

Then, separately, gave your friends a bollocking.

FlamingoQueen · 09/04/2023 08:33

If they don’t pay you back in a few days, could you say that your company have done an audit of your account and are querying this one charge and as you’ve seen the receipt without your signature on, they are looking into it a bit more?

rookiemere · 09/04/2023 08:34

Definitely not being unreasonable to want that paid back. How kind of them to tip 20% of your money!

Butchyrestingface · 09/04/2023 08:34

But have already messaged with my bank details. I suspect the response will be telling. I already don't have high hopes - and from previous communication; I can tell they think I am BU. Hence why I posted on here as it was on my mind!

If you have sent them your bank details and nothing happens, I would absolutely drop them as friends.

There may or may not have been a misunderstanding at the time. These things happen. But they owe you this money and a decent person would be embarrassed and keen to rectify the situation.

Darcy212 · 09/04/2023 08:34

The older I get, the more I realise that not everyone is as courteous or conscientious as I am. Some people (like your husband) don't mind that and can tolerate the lack of awareness, however I would consider ending a friendship over this. It sounds like there have been messages back and forth about the bill, but yet no offer to reimburse. I would send them your bank details worded as PP suggested, and depending on the level of grovelling and speed of payment determine the future of the friendship from there. If no payment arrives, you have your answer!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 09/04/2023 08:35

Totalwasteofpaper · 09/04/2023 07:59

"I KNOW! I was like 😱 as well. Hope the champagne tasted amazing 🤣
My bank details are X. Can you confirm once you've transferred it. Work consider it a personal expense so it comes out of my pay check"

Perfect response send this.

Stravawindow · 09/04/2023 08:35

Extremely cheeky and rude thing to do. I hope you get your money back OP.

Original poster
annaherrings · 09/04/2023 08:36

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 08:27

So you treated them to lunch/drinks that were served before you left? If so, and they they asked to stay, it sounds as though they thought you were able to cover the whole thing.

I agree the waiter clearly thought you'd okayed it, if he charged the drinks and dessert to the room.

Did you make it clear it was you personally paying for lunch, not your company?

I paid for lunch for all of us. It was $326 USD. I literally have the receipts. 😂

I didn't drink as I had to get back to the office.

They did know I was personally paying for it because they were joking about getting a job at the same company for the 'perks'. At which point, I said something along the lines of only the room being covered - and went on to talk about management in general at the company not being what people think it is/not all that it is cracked up to be.

To the person asking about differences in income. They are teachers (which is why they could travel now - because it is Easter holidays).

OP posts:
BoneBrothByDayDonutByNight · 09/04/2023 08:39

Butchyrestingface · 09/04/2023 08:34

But have already messaged with my bank details. I suspect the response will be telling. I already don't have high hopes - and from previous communication; I can tell they think I am BU. Hence why I posted on here as it was on my mind!

If you have sent them your bank details and nothing happens, I would absolutely drop them as friends.

There may or may not have been a misunderstanding at the time. These things happen. But they owe you this money and a decent person would be embarrassed and keen to rectify the situation.

Completely agree.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 09/04/2023 08:40

Wow that makes it worse! If they knew you paid for dinner, and they were aware only the room gets paid for by the company. There's no excuse now. Even if the waiter had said 'oh I'm putting these on x room', a quick 'we're paying for these' would have sorted it - CFs

Ladyofthelake53 · 09/04/2023 08:40

That would be it for me, you treated them to lunch and then they took the piss and ordered champagne and desserts after you'd gone. Thats taking advantage. They knew full well thats why they ordered champagne. Freeloaders id bin them off definitely. Some people dont know how to behave

MsRosley · 09/04/2023 08:41

The fact that you were prepared to spend $326 on them shows you are a generous person and a good friend. The fact that they felt entitled to further capitalise on that generosity shows that they are exactly the opposite.

Shame on them. Utterly shabby behaviour.

CheersForThatEh · 09/04/2023 08:42

When they explained that they wanted to pay, why did you not just say "cool, heres my bank details, its $140".

sashh · 09/04/2023 08:43

Don't speak tot hem again but do write to the hotel and tell them what happened and that you have paid this time but you suggest they tighten their security protocols.

If you stay at the same place again have a note placed with reception that only you can sign for anything.