Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

[annaherrings]

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

I suspect she means that, if you had read the thread, you would realise that literally no-one on this thread except @Tandoraand @Werehalfwaythere thinks that OP spending money on lunch for her friends was tacky. The assumption in the opening to your post that everyone on the thread agrees with their interpretation was really quite odd.

@Rosula OK, that wasn’t my intention at all, but fair enough.

@Tandora Given that 97% of people on this thread agree that the OP's friends were taking the piss, do you at least agree that your viewpoint is very unusual, re tackiness and the OP bringing this on herself by paying for lunch? Does that surprise you? Would you expect more people to think the same way you do?

No they did not, and no the OP did not.

Another of your "friends" posting @annaherrings !!

It sounds like they just expected the company to pay and are resentful. Hope you do get reimbursed though OP, it's bad behaviour.

If they thought it was “tacky” they could have declined, as we all do if we feel a friend’s generosity is more than we can comfortable accept.

It’s also not great manners to ruminate the cost of a gift. Looking a gift horse in the mouth goes both ways.

Even if they didn’t realize until it was too late that OP was spending what they considered a lavish amount, the solution is not to continue taking more from her after she has paid and gone.

It’s entertaining that someone touting the etiquette they were raised with would use this illogical argument to justify such obviously bad behavior.

What happened OP - did they reply after you sent them your bank details??

I genuinely thought some kids had infiltrated the thread because it was the only way I could understand the thinking (£300!!! Wow!! She’s rich!!) but I am told I was mistaken and that they are adults.

I’d think that someone who could spend £300 on lunch was rich. Clearly I’m just poor then.

I guess it's all relative.

$300 is £240 ish - 80 quid per person for lunch is still eyewatering for me, but I know I'm definitely in the "not rich" camp 😂

Doesn't matter though really does it? So what if the OP is rich or not, deliberately ordering champagne and extra food and putting it on somebody else's account without their knowledge is SUCH absolute cheeky fuckery. To do so when you consider the place to be expensive is just extra cheeky.

Yes, relative to how rich you are.
There was me thinking I was an adult but I’m clearly just a child because I can’t afford to spaff £260 on lunch.

Someone might think you're rich if you can afford to splash out on a MacDonald's. A lot of young people in my area splash out on expensive clothes and handbags and shoes etc. I'm pretty sure most of them are not wealthy or from wealthy families. Anyway, this thread isn't about you and what you can or cannot afford to do with your money - it's of no interest. But I am interested to know if the friends are going to repay OP what they owe her.

Someone might think you're rich if you can afford to splash out on a MacDonald's.

Doubtful. If they're living hand to mouth and couldn't afford that then they'd think you were better off than they are, but I don't think anyone sees a Maccy D's as a sign of objectively significant wealth.

OP chose the lunch venue because it fitted with her work plans. It was generous of her to treat them, but also presumably was because she didn't have time to find somewhere less expensive.

I have heard that the US is ludicrously expensive these days because of the poor exchange rate and high percentage tips that are required. So whilst the lunch may seem profligate to some of us, it's probably not that ridiculous at the minute. Work colleague told me he had paid £85 per head for a buffet meal at Las Vegas recently ( and not one of the high end ones).

@annaherrings why aren’t you updating?

Good question @Childbeingreallybold !

Come on OP!

Such resentment. Is nobody allow to earn or spend more that you?

I resent the inference that someone who can’t afford to spend £260 on lunch is a child, yes.
I don’t care that other people earn that much but the idea that people who don’t earn that are pathetic babies is rather insulting.

I was responding to your "spaff comment". That does sound judge yand resentful. No reference to childish behaviour at all, you may wish to redirect your attention to the originator of that comment.

That was not the inference at all. You’re making that up in order to get outraged about something. I was just shocked that someone thought a £300 lunch meant the person who paid was wealthy. I am pretty sure that a wealthy person might spend far more than that on meals out. As I said before I am not at all interested in what you personally can or cannot afford. I did not come onto this thread for you.

This.

So $300 on lunch is a perfectly normal amount to spend, gotcha.

The op is in the lucky position to be able to afford to treat her friends to that sort of lunch. Well done her I say. We are not all in a similar position but so what?

Literally the whole point of this thread is that to have paid $300 for her friends’ lunch was already extremely generous of the OP - ie that it isn’t a run of the mill amount which wouldn’t have already struck the friends as being very kind of OP to pay.

Clearly OP is in a position to be able to afford to pay this as a one off but spending half as much again of OP’s money without her consent is absolute cheeky fuckery on the friends parts.

I do hope they responded to the OP yesterday with a sheepish apology and an offer to reimburse her and that this was a tipsy error of judgment and not premeditated dishonesty on their part.