Friend charged drinks and desserts to my hotel room.

[annaherrings]

I was NY where we have an office (the company I work for that is). I was staying in a hotel (paid for by company). I had two friends from London who were in NY at the same time visiting for Easter break. They wanted to meet up and I invited them to my hotel for lunch/drinks. I do not expense my hotel charges as I never have work meetings at the hotel and our offices are where all meetings are held. We also eat out a lot and work pays for that. So I settle any incidentals bill myself - whereas the room is paid for.

We had lunch and everything was fine. I had to head back to my office so I settled up. The waiter asked what my room # was when I asked to charge it to the room as I had to go. So I told him/said it out loud. I signed the check/bill and left. Before leaving, the two girls said: 'We might stay for one more in the adjoining bar'. That was obviously fine. They are free to do what they want/go where they want.

Upon checking out; I see extra charges of 4 drinks and two desserts. Totalling $140 and I'm pretty sure two of the drinks were champagne. (It was a 5* hotel in Manhattan).

It stood out because I was only aware of the lunch total since it was the only thing I charged to my room throughout the entire stay. So it wasn't exactly hard to spot.

I asked the hotel for the actual receipt (the one which you sign your name/room # on). Sure enough, it wasn't my signature. They had even added on the 20% tip.

When I queried them (the girls) on it, they said the hotel staff (same waiter) immediately charged it to my room and didn't give them a chance to pay. They 'wanted' to tip (tipping is a big deal in the US) so they said they asked for a check/bill - and tipped via the room - meaning my card. Hence the receipt in front of me. They also wrote down my room # since they heard me say it out loud prior.

I do not believe they didn't have a chance to pay. If they really wanted to, they could have. They then said they assumed my work was paying (I work for a famous/large bank) so we aren't exactly short of company money - hence their 'assumption'.

They then said they did 'ask me' if it was ok to 'stay for one more at the adjoining bar' and that I was more than ok with it.

To clarify, they didn't 'ask' and moreover; no two grown women need to ask my permission as to where they can go. It is entirely up to them where they go and what they do.

I need up paying their bill as I didn't want any awkwardness. I haven't responded to their texts and TBH, I'd rather just never talk to them again. AIBU to think there was no misunderstanding here? I could never ever walk out of a place - 5* or not - and not pay. The audacity of charging anything to a friend's room - and not even telling them about it after the fact - is unbelievable to me. My DH says to drop it and leave it be and called it 'cheeky' but not worth losing friendships over. I suspect he just doesn't want to engage.

They are very rude. And cheap - why would anyone want to appear like a freeloader?

But I wonder if they assumed that as you work for a very rich company, your expenses are generous and your work wouldn’t notice?

It’s still cheap tacky and freeloading

Nah I don't believe them. They forged your signature.

If they made a mistake they would have been notified and paid you immediately. This was intentional. I imagine they had expensive drinks thinking you were paying.

I wouldn't let it go. I would chase and chase even if I didn't get the money.

Sometimes people rely on other being polite.

In my friendship group we almost argue about who pays!

Yes, so many people don't understand how company expenses work, and it differs a lot anyway!

Still, thinking "We can get away with charging this to XYZ Bank" is cheeky enough WITHOUT you having told them only your room/accom was covered by work.

I once travelled for a new employer before my corporate amex had come through. Everything was pre-booked on my supervisor's card. If I'd spent money like that eyebrows would've been well raised.

OP, I hope you've no issues at work with the incidentals you didn't mean to charge on this trip. They'll just take it from your salary or something? And the ex-friends bloody should pay you back.

You don’t need friends like that, greedy and dishonest.

Yes, I think your point of view is reasonable. They didn't understand how expenses work and thought your work would pay for it. OK, a bit cheeky. But now they know they're mistake and had time to reflect, they should be apologising and trying to make it up to you. That's what friends do when they've made a mistake.

Some people just take the piss, you were so generous paying for lunch, there is no way I would have added extras and thought you were going to stump up the bill.

CF and I would dump them.

i see they're teachers so may not have experience of expenses

Yes they do! They have class budgets and department budgets or subject budgets for their classes or teams - they fill in forms with receipts and get the cash back.

They know how it works.

Is one of your friends called Anna Delvey?

I'm not sure too much blame can be shifted on to the hotel and it's procedures though it does sound as if the waiter was confused.

Extra items magically appearing on hotel bills at check out isn't completely unknown ( down to a mistake or scam by somebody, who knows?) and in my experience if confronted with an obviously rogue signature decent hotels will remove the offending transaction.

This all on the "friends".

This is key. I knew a manager who was sacked for buying a round of drinks on his company card. The company was very generous with food, drinks and social events, but had very strict rules on the use of company funds. After a fully paid for social event with lots of free food and alcohol a group decided to continue the night and he bought the first round on his card, lost his job the next week. It wouldn’t have mattered if he had offered to pay it back, the rules were clear. People who don’t work in jobs with company cards or expenses don’t get this and how there is a fine line on what is and isn’t appropriate.

I paid for lunch for all of us. It was $326 USD. They did know I was personally paying for it because they were joking about getting a job at the same company for the 'perks'. At which point, I said something along the lines of only the room being covered

Of course, they shouldn't have charged your room. But whether to end the friendship would depend if they paid back and if they did it maliciously. Or I actually cared about these people. Is it possible they misunderstood "only room being covered"? Cause you already paid for an expensive lunch. Maybe they wrongly figured that drink and desert were included in the lunch. At home, would you treat them to something like this? If they had paid for their own lunch, then they would obviously be CF. But them 'asking' to stay, you paying through the room, etc. Gives room for misunderstanding.

I think I would have thought everything was in the company. That's what I'd assume if someone settled a $300+ meal without asking me to contribute. I mean, I'm in my 30s and don't know anyone who could afford to pay a $300+ lunch bill themselves. You must be extremely well paid.

I suspect it was a misunderstanding initially. Now, at the prospect of paying $70 each for a pudding and two drinks, they're panicking. Especially on teacher salaries. Perhaps they're hoping, given you presumably earn a LOT more than them, that you may not mind paying in this instance.

I guess it depends where the misunderstanding came from. If you were crystal clear that the meal was over and anything else is paid by them, then YANBU, they are taking advantage of you.

But if it was possible they thought either the company was paying (or reimbursing you), or they thought you'd agreed to them having the pudding etc as part of the meal you offered to pay, then YABU to suddenly lump them with a large bill they didn't think they'd owe.

Why did you offer to pay for lunch? I think that's likely where the misunderstanding came from. Why didn't you all just meet up somewhere normally priced and pay your own way? It almost feels a bit tacky to pay for a meal, have to rush off, and then expect guests to then pay the rest. You either pay for the whole meal, or you meet up elsewhere and pay your own ways.

They thought they'd get a freebie through your work. Tell them what they owe you. Its cheeky but depending on your friendship I wouldn't disown them over it.

Ask for the money back and then end the friendship. As I get older I surround myself with only decent people. How dare they not check with you first.

Oh please! What a load of absolute bollix 🤬🤬
It's OP's fault because she was kind enough to buy them lunch as a treat. Christ Almighty, some people are unbelievable - I guess the OP's friends aren't the only CFs.

That's not the case at all. You should read OP's updates properly.

Wow, what a load of crap.

YANBU - They should pay up immediately and the fact they haven’t… I would be ditching them tbh.

If your friend offered to buy you lunch and zizzis, and left after main saying she needed to rush home for XYZ, and you said "ok, is it ok if we stay for pudding?" And she says yes, wouldn't you assume she's paying, given she offered to buy you lunch?

You may find my response bollox (what's bollix?) but people are allowed to think differently and offer alternative opinions. That's the whole point of AIBU. Stop trying to police what other people say.

What did I misinterpret?

I once had to write a letter to the expenses departement explaining why I got a taxi to the hotel from the airport instead of taking the bus. Don't think I could have explained away champagne!

@Theluggage15 I thought the same of your comment.

You're working very hard to present these two women as decent people who simply 'misunderstood', @Werehalfwaythere Thing is, decent people, people with actual moral principles who don't unconsciously view others as a resource, would be absolutely horrified when they realised the error they'd made, and rush in to reimburse OP. They wouldn't be making excuses. They'd be desperate to set things straight and full of apologies, especially given OP's generosity.

These aren't decent people, they're freeloaders who've been pulled up on it.

You don't need to drop them as friend but you need to understand what they are like. That's scummy behaviour.

Perhaps. That's certainly possible (as I said in my comment).

But it is also possible that this is simply a misunderstanding with the OP not being clear enough in who's paying, given she paid for the meal and it's a company trip. There's lots of room for misunderstanding.

IF they misunderstood due to OP not being clear enough, then I don't think it's fair to expect them to pay.

It all depends on how clear the communication was from OP and only she knows that.