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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand how people live like this?

203 replies

girlfriend44 · 08/04/2023 15:24

I went round to someones house today and they were sat there in the living room, no window open, all dark and smoking and drinking. It was disgusting. Made my excuses and left. Cant understand how people can live like that? No kids in the house but even so. Some people are so unhealthy?

OP posts:
MathsNervous · 08/04/2023 19:34

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 19:27

How? If he's not in the front room he could be in the pub. Or the kitchen...

Show quote history

What I mean is if he shuts them and opens them at set hours each day it lets others see his usual routine. Less obvious if curtains are open at night. Just a theory.

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 19:38

one time we were staying and the curtains were heaven forbid left shut when we went to bed,
the neighbours thought someone had died because of the closed curtains in the day time!

BadNomad · 08/04/2023 19:39

I think it means people won't be able to tell if he's up or still asleep at lunchtime.

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 19:40

BadNomad · 08/04/2023 19:39

I think it means people won't be able to tell if he's up or still asleep at lunchtime.

exactly!

Ruffpuff · 08/04/2023 19:42

It’s grim, but they’re probably depressed and have issues with alcohol. You wouldn’t really judge someone like that by the standards of someone who doesn’t have those issues.

matis · 08/04/2023 19:42

Ruffpuff · 08/04/2023 19:42

It’s grim, but they’re probably depressed and have issues with alcohol. You wouldn’t really judge someone like that by the standards of someone who doesn’t have those issues.

I'm not depressed and I don't have issues with alcohol.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 19:43

Oh, I get what you mean. He was basically opening the curtains extra early?

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 19:44

exactly @ReadersD1gest

Okunevo · 08/04/2023 19:46

Eggseggseverywhere · 08/04/2023 15:29

I judge those who keep curtains shut!

Ours were shut weekdays through winter until it was still light at about 6pm. We were out so no reason to open them.

Ruffpuff · 08/04/2023 19:47

@matis i wasn’t speaking directly to you?

SpudleyLass · 08/04/2023 19:49

I imagine the judgy curtain person wouldn't like me.

The only curtains I keep closed are the two bedrooms, but that is because they are the only windows that can be seen through on the - fairly busy - street. I might open them if we're going out for the day, but it seems asinine plus the area we live in has had a recent spate of break ins so I'd rather not have any old passer by see that we clearly have a young child.

We live in a bungalow, so its ground floor too.

Our front door is also visible from the street, for all to see and we don't use that door either, for a couple of reasons.

  1. Our cat's litter box is right in front of the door. There is a frame constructed above it, but just below the letter box which prevents the mail landing in the litterbox. We're not gross. There is not really anywhere else in this house for the litterbox to go and be hidden out of sight/smell.
  2. My 4 yo DD is ASD, to the degree of being non verbal with challenging behaviour up to and including ''bolting''. We access the house through the garden gate -then use the back door. This is helpful as I can then bolt the garden gate without fear of her legging it into a busy road whilst I fumble with the housekey/ shopping.

We've been living here since January. Some neighbours probably think the house is haunted, especially if they've had the misfortunate to glimpse a quick sight of my pale flesh! 😂

Okunevo · 08/04/2023 19:50

Oh, and curtains and blinds were shut when the sun was on them through the heatwave. Lovely day like today and they are wide open.

Each to their own though, only problem I see with the OP is smoking indoors.

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 19:56

very surprised that people would still smoke indoors

EnVogue · 08/04/2023 19:57

Eggseggseverywhere · 08/04/2023 15:29

I judge those who keep curtains shut!

This is so rude tbh. I keep my living room blinds down mostly as there is a school at the bottom of my road and various times of the day school children can see directly into my house...

Similarly I keep my bedroom curtains closed as next door are erecting an extension currently, I really don't need my next door neighbour up a ladder seeing me moisturise after a shower...

You don't know people's reasons for keeping curtains or blinds closed.

MathsNervous · 08/04/2023 19:57

BadNomad · 08/04/2023 19:39

I think it means people won't be able to tell if he's up or still asleep at lunchtime.

Very smart.

ColdHandsHotHead · 08/04/2023 20:00

I was at uni with a girl who sat with her curtains drawn all day. Her room never got aired and it just smelt like someone's armpit.

whynotwhatknot · 08/04/2023 20:01

i keep my curtains shut my house its like a hotbox if i dont its too hot

TheSlowRush · 08/04/2023 20:01

Also work in social care.

Welcome to my world 🤣

StagsLeap · 08/04/2023 20:10

I think I read a different OP to the rest of you. The OP says ‘they’ were drinking and smoking in the dark, and asks how ‘people’ can live like this and says ‘some people are so unhealthy’. This suggested multiple people to me, having a slightly sordid kind of party on a BH weekend…? Not my idea of a good time, but I’m pretty sure I did it in my student days at weekend-long house parties.

Thursa · 08/04/2023 20:14

Ah. A good old Mumsnet AIBU to not understand thread…

magicthree · 08/04/2023 20:15

It's nothing to do with you - people can live how they want to. Why is smoking and drinking in the dark "disgusting"? I find people who judge others on what they do in their own home "disgusting". No doubt they breathed sigh of relief when you left.

TheSnootiestFox · 08/04/2023 20:15

Eggseggseverywhere · 08/04/2023 15:29

I judge those who keep curtains shut!

You'd judge me then 🤷‍♀️ I live in a period house with a front door that opens straight onto the street and the parking bays outside are the first free ones after the very expensive pay and display for the town centre. I live in an upmarket market town with loads of visitors. If I don't shut my curtains I have all and sundry looking at my interior design 🙄 and me in my jamas, and the dog objects to randoms walking past her windows. It's just easier!

User639762456 · 08/04/2023 20:20

Used to be very common in a lot of houses years ago, most places were smoky and a lot of people smoked at home

shrunkenhead · 08/04/2023 20:29

Exactly what @Flamesbegin said. THAT is the general consensus on CCC.

My gran used to make me laugh as if the curtains weren't drawn back by say 9am she'd stress that people would think "someone had died"!?! I never understood this but guessing it's from days of old and perhsps something people in mourning did?? Either way it's a sign that something isn't right if people's curtains are constantly closed.

Yerroblemom1923 · 08/04/2023 20:32

@SpudleyLass but if you keep your curtains open you'll be able to see if dd is happily playing in the garden or done a runner.

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