To not understand how people live like this?

[girlfriend44]

I went round to someones house today and they were sat there in the living room, no window open, all dark and smoking and drinking. It was disgusting. Made my excuses and left. Cant understand how people can live like that? No kids in the house but even so. Some people are so unhealthy?

What a load of nonsense.

Loads of people do things in their homes that aren't the healthiest. My mil and sil homes absolutely stink of candles and wax melts and air fresheners and god knows what else. It's disgusting but it's their lives. There's the people that use copious amounts of cleaning chemicals, that's disgusting too but again it's their lives and their homes.

Did you not hear that little cheer go up as you left OP?

I can understand keeping curtains closed or almost closed if you can easily be seen from the street. However, I'd want some fresh air unless it was a cold day. To be honest I would not go to a smoker's house unless it was to visit a sick person, and ask to meet somewhere else.

I have a neighbour like this and he’s a nasty person so it surprised he does drinks and smokes all day nor do I care.

I judge people who judge other people on unimportant things like keeping curtains shut..

I keep my bedroom curtains shut as the window looks out onto a fly tipping hot spot and it is so depressing to gaze out on heaps of rubbish, so sometimes people have good reasons for this.

I judge those who keep curtains shut!
It's such an asinine thing to say 🤔

It's unkind to judge someone on a snapshot of their life. There are many a reason someone might want to keep their curtains closed, mental health being a likely reason. I am struggling with depression and I would be quite happy to close my curtains and hide away today , I don't and can't cos I have young children who depend on me but if i didn't who knows maybe I would be one of these people you are judging for having their curtains shut. People live in all different ways, you weren't unreasonable to leave op as it does sound unpleasant but it's their perogative to live how they want to live.

i expect they need their curtains closed to see the TV screen.

We don't smoke but our living room curtains are almost always closed. We just don't remember to open them because we spend most of the day in the dining room. If we are in the living room during the day, watching TV or gaming, the glare from the window means we can't see the screen.

Social worker here and I've been to many places like this. Drive home with windows wide trying to get stale smoke smell out my hair and clothes but it usually needs a shower.

Add in that sweaty unwashed smell and it's a dream ☹️

ha ha

Why? Doesn't really occur to me to open the curtains unless I actually want to look out the window.

the only time i have my blinds down is if i have a migraine other than that they are open plus my windows stay open all year im in a top floor flat so need to have them shut.

dont need them shut

forgot to add i dont judge anyone with blinds or curtains down but i do wonder about them that never open a window .

I don't. I was a community mental health support worker for 12 years and a drugs worker before that and I have seen homes that ranged from immaculate through to totally filthy. Sometimes the way someone keeps their home can relate to how they are feeling mentally and/or physically . If I saw major changes it was sometimes a clue that somebody I was supporting could be starting to experience a change in their mood be that suddenly obsessively cleaning or ceasing to look after their home. As for me, I am a survivor of a serious sexual assault, I was attacked by a stranger in the street and was so traumatised that the only way I could cope in the aftermath was to shut myself in at home with all doors and widows locked and the curtains closed. I am much better now, but I really understand why people sometimes need to shut out the world

To be honest, though I don’t live like that, it’s their “home” and their choice to do that. I don’t agree with smoking but if they’re happy then fine, so many places now where you can’t smoke or strictly outside (as it should be).

I think most people judge people who keep their curtains closed all day! It screams dodgy as/hoarders/drug den etc etc
Or someone with very large windows and a south facing garden 🤷🏻‍♀️ Some people's experiences are so limited...

It's no wonder people are either freezing or running up astronomical fuel bills if you're all opening your windows and letting the heat out every day.

I live in a terraced house with very noisy and frankly quite appalling neighbours on one side. They have the doors and windows open in all weathers and their shouting and screaming caries into my home. If I opened my doors and windows it would be unendurable

I never turn the bathroom light on at night when I have a shower, the light from the landing is enough
We're all different, don't judge people
You now know not to visit again though!

If I’d have had free rein today to do exactly as I pleaded it would have probably involved a lot of time in my bed!
I have dc though (not small but still, not a great example to set and also I wouldn’t have wanted him sitting doing nothing all day) so we went out and enjoyed some fresh air in the sunshine while his dad was working in the garden and both his sisters were at work.
Without dc I think I’d be a much lazier person and would most likely spend more time than is healthy indoors in front of the telly.
I do however have windows open every day as much as the temperature will allow, our bedroom one is open all year round pretty much.
Other than the smoking in the house (the smell of which turns my stomach) I don’t see anything wrong with what they were doing. And I only think the smoking in the house thing is ‘wrong’ because it’s just disgusting 😂 Their house, they can do what the bloody hell they like in it.

Obviously not great but neither is depression.